Coming August 30th: Tommy Boy - "Holy Schnike Edition" 2-DVD Set

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

"Not so fast, Lee Harvey..."

:evilgrin:



http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0009W5J1O/qid=1124466584/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-8089361-4727814?v=glance&s=dvd

DVD Release Date: August 30, 2005
DVD Features:
Available subtitles: English
Available Audio Tracks: English (Dolby Digital 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround), French (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround)
Disc One:

Commentary byDirector Peter Segal

Disc Two:

4 Featurettes

6 Deleted Scenes

7 Storyboard Comparisons

15 Extended Scenes

Gag Reel

Photo Gallery

Theatrical Trailer

19 TV Spots

Number of discs: 2

Quotes from Tommy Boy - Holy Schnike Edition:
Gas Station Employee: I'm picking up your sarcasm.
Richard Hayden: Well, I should hope so, because I'm laying it on pretty thick.

Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why do they put a guarantee on a box? Hmm, very interesting.
Ted: I'm listening.
Tommy: Here's how I see it. A guy puts a guarantee on the box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.
Ted: Yeah, makes a man feel good.
Tommy: 'Course it does. Ya think if you leave that box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter.
Ted: What's your point?
Tommy: The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, but we're not buying it. Next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.
Ted: But why do they put a guarantee on the box then?
Tommy: Because they know all they solda ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for right now, for your sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality item from me.
Ted: Hmm. Okay, I'll buy from you.
Tommy: Well I... What?

Tommy: I left a message.
Richard Hayden: Really, what number did you call?
Tommy: Two, four, niner, five, six, seven...
Richard Hayden: I can't hear you, you're trailing off and did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?
Tommy: It was a cordless.
Richard Hayden: You know what? Don't. Not here, not now.

Moments earlier they hit a deer, it's now riding in the back seat of Richard's car
Tommy: Where are we gonna take the deer?
Richard Hayden: I dunno, the vet?
Tommy: You take dead animals to the vet?
Richard Hayden: Why not? I'd take you to the vet.
Tommy: Yeah I'll take you to the... Um...
Richard Hayden: Got that?
Tommy: Shut up.

Richard Hayden: I can practically hear you getting fatter.

Michelle: Listen you little spazoids. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you.

Richard Hayden: Your dad could sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves.

Tommy: Did you hear I graduated?
Richard Hayden: Yeah and just a shade under a decade too, all right.
Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard Hayden: I know, they're called doctors.

Richard's car is destroyed by a deer
Richard Hayden: No way that just happened. My car is completely destroyed.
Tommy: I've seen some crazy stuff in my time, but that... was... AWESOME. Oh, sorry about your car, man. That... That sucks.

Tommy: I passed. Oh man,
shouting
Tommy: I GOT A D+. I'm gonna graduate!
hugging a stranger
Tommy: I wish we'd known each other... this is a little awkward. I'M GONNA GRADUATE!

after Tommy explodes in a client's office
Tommy: I can't believe he called me a psycho.
Richard Hayden: Hey, were you in there just now? You are a psycho... Good God. And fix your hair.

Tommy: Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?
confused
Tommy: No, I meant, you can get a good look at a T-bone steak by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.
embarrased

Saying it correctly
Tommy: You can take a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but wouldn't you rather take the butcher's word for it?

Tommy carelessly set an open bag of M&M's on the dashboard and they immediately poor into an open slot
Richard Hayden: Oh that sounds good: melted chocolate inside the dash, that really ups the resale value.
Tommy: I think you'll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell. 'Surprised you didn't know that.
Richard Hayden: I think your brain has a thick candy shell.
Tommy: Your... Your brain has the shell on it.
Richard Hayden: Are you talking?
Tommy: Shut up, Richard.

Richard Hayden: You have de-railed...
Tommy: Shut up Richard!

after watching Ray Zalinski car commercial
Richard Hayden: This is the guy trying to run you out of buisiness and put you out on the street and all you can say is 'hmm he heems hika hice guy!'

Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat

Picks up model car
Executive with Toy Cars: Get out. Now!
Richard tries to douse flaming car
Executive with Toy Cars: No!

Richard is videotaping Reilly and Rittenhauer at the wedding reception
Ted Reilly: Yeah, Tom, you are a lucky man. Boy would I like to get some of that.
Richard Hayden: Good lord.
Ted Reilly: Oh God. You got an edit button on that thing?
Backing away
Ted Reilly: Come here. Come here, you little prick!

Admiring his new office

Richard knocks on the door impersonating the maid while Tommy tries to sleep
Richard Hayden: Housekeeping. You want mint for pillow?
Tommy: Please go away let me sleep *for the love of God*.
Richard Hayden: Housekeeping. You want me to jerk you off?
Tommy: What kind of hotel is this?
opens door
Tommy: Who the hell are... Oh, it's you.
Richard Hayden: Good morning, sunshine.

Tommy: If I wanted a kiss I'd call your mother.

Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?
Richard Hayden: No, your face does.

Tommy: You kids better pray to the god of skinny punks this wind doesn't pick up, cuz if it does I'm gonna sail over there and shove an oar up your ass.

Michelle: I saw your step mom and your step brother and he was kissing her.
Tommy: So?
Michelle: With his tongue.
Tommy: UGH.
Richard: He's doing his mommy?

Tommy: Look at 'em there, pretty maids all in a row. I want the one on the left; she's perfect. Which one d'you want? Huh, huh, huh?... Alright.
Paul: Does it make a difference?
Tommy: Oh yeah. Wait a second. Is this your first time?
Paul: Yeah Tommy, it is.
Tommy: God, you're gonna remember this the rest of your life. Can't believe you've never been cow tipping before. Get ready to live. Huh, huh, huh, ssshhhh. She's sleepin'. What you do is, you put your shoulder into her and you push.
Paul: And?
Tommy: They fall over, hee, hee, hee.
Paul: And this doesn't strike you as kinda' dumb?
Tommy: We're family, we're gonna be doing lots of dumb stuff together. Wait 'til Christmas.

Ray Zalinsky: Ted, send over a bottle of bubbly in a bucket of ice and a card. Have the card read, "Tough luck, get drunk on me. Use the bucket to ice down your marbles, Yours, Z."

Richard Hayden: Okay, it's sale time, so remember, we don't take no...?
Tommy: No shit from anyone.
Richard Hayden: No.
Tommy: Um, we don't take no prisoners.
Richard Hayden: We don't take no for answer.
Tommy: Oh yeah... We don't take no for answer! We don't we don't take no for an answer
Tommy: no line
Tommy: no line

after Tommy has rubbed air freshener on himself
Ray Zalinsky: Goin' a little heavy on the pine tree perfume there kid?
Tommy: No, it's an auto air freshener.
Ray Zalinsky: Good, you've pinpointed it, now the next step is washin' it out.

Richard Hayden: And, the life vests, these you might need. But what are the chances of us hitting a lake. If my money says anything, it's gonna be a mountain.

Richard Hayden: Ok, here is Tommy, he's gonna help me with my little spiel here. Tommy is a Scorpio, he likes biking and he's never been laid.

Richard Hayden: It's called reading-top to bottom-left to right-group words together into sentences-take tylenol for any headaches-midol for any cramps.

Richard Hayden: Mommy, mommy, the Rhino's getting to close to the car.
Tommy: Him too afraid to get out, him's just a little guy.
Richard Hayden: All right, that's it, fat boy, I'm gonna wail on you.
Tommy: Hey, boys and girls, it's Papa Smurf!

Tommy: Richard, were you watching Spank-travision?
Richard Hayden: Okay let's get some shut eye.
Tommy: Maybe you were watching a movie with that funny comedian, oh what's his name? Buddy Whackett?

They pull up by a tree

as Richard is adjusting Tommy's tie, it comes off
Tommy: Huh, huh, it's a clip-on
Richard Hayden: Are you sure?

Tommy: Hey, What's your name?
Helen: Helen.
Tommy: That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a sales man. Let's say I go into some guys office and let's say hes even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. Oh , my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stoke it, and I pet it, and I massage it, hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, your naughty. Then I take my naughty pet and I go
makes ripping noises as he tears apart the roll
Tommy: Uuuuuuh. I killed it. I killed my sale. That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead, Helen, am I right?
Helen: God, you're sick.

Stewardess: I can get you on a flight coming BACK from Chicago. Does that help?
Richard Hayden: Hi, I'm Earth. Have we met?
Stewardess looks confused
Stewardess: I don't think so.

Richard sees a trash bag with tape wrapped around it coming out of the plane
Richard Hayden: Oh, that has to be you. Spray that thing for bugs?

Richard and Tommy almost got in a car accident
Richard Hayden: Hey... I was just thinking... when we stopped for gas this morning I think it was you who put the oil in.
Tommy: Hey if you're going to say I didn't put the right kind in, you're wrong. I used 10-W-30. And besides, motor oil would have nothing to do with this accident.
Richard Hayden: True. But you can't latch the hood too well, if you don't take the can out, you no-selling waste of space. I swear to God, you're worthless.

Tommy sees a pretty woman. Richard is watching from his window
Richard Hayden: Scram Tommy. Don't give her the weight room thing.
Tommy approaches her acting muscular and buff
Tommy: Do you know where the weight room is? I'll check it out.

Paul: You eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?
Tommy: Ha ha ha, why?

Tommy running into a glass wall

Tommy: Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks. I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel INTO A GODDAMNED BRIDGE EMBUNKMENT.

Richard Hayden: Awww, I've interrupted 'happy time'.

Tommy: Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.

Tommy: Richard, who's your favorite little rascal? Alfalfa or is it Spanky.

Richard needs Big Tom to sign some documents
Richard Hayden: I need your John Hancock.
Tommy Boy scoffs
Tommy: It's HERBIE Hancock.

Richard Hayden: What did I say about eating in the car anyways?
Tommy: It's not good cause it spoils your dinner?

Richard Hayden: What is the carrying charge for our warehouse?
Tommy: Geez, I knew this one. Uhhhhhhh.
Richard Hayden: One and a...
Tommy: ...half percent. I knew that. Why can't I remember it?
Richard Hayden: Try an association such as; Let's say the average person uses ten percent of his brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is filled with malted hops and bong resin.

Tommy Boy just gets his new office and starts talking into a fan
Tommy: Luke, I am your fa-ther.

Tommy: Richard, I'm gonna need your watch. I've got... a... plan.
Richard Hayden: Yikes.

Richard Hayden: Okay... seatbelts. Just put the little thing into the big thing and... I tell ya what. If you don't know how to fasten your seatbelt, just raise your hand and I'll have Tommy Boy here come back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer because you're a RETARD.

Paul: These shoes are Italian. They're worth more than your life.

Ted's Wife: Look at that fat man on TV with the bomb strapped to his chest.
Ted: Oh yeah, I buy break pads from him. I thought we were watching cartoons.

Tommy: Richard? Is this your coat?
Richard: Don't do it.
Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat.
Richard: Don't
singing
Richard: Take it off, Dickhead, I'm serious!
coat rips

Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III: No offense, but if I showed a picture of your mom to some of my buddies at school, she'd definitely be "Boner of the Month".
Paul: I'm honored. Is there anything to do in this town besides eat?

Tommy has a fake bomb strapped to himself
Nicole Taylor, Action 8 News: And is this why you have a bomb strapped to yourself?
Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III: It's not a bomb. It's road flares.
Ray Zalinsky: Road flares? Did you grow up under power-lines?
Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III: Ha ha ha, why?

Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III: Tommy Likey! Tommy want wing-ey!

Ray Zalinsky: The truth is, I make car parts for the American working man because I'm one hell of a salesman and he doesn't know any better. Well, son, since you're no longer our shareholder, this is where I leave you. Don't feel bad. This chain of events was set in motion a long time ago, and you and bald-headed friend, you did what you could and that's commendable. Marty, have Security see these boys out.
Marty, Zalinsky's Aide: Yes, sir.
greets Beverly and Paul; Paul waves "goodbye"
in shock

Paul: You wait a minute, fat boy. You lost your shares to the bank. You don't even have a right to be here!
Michelle: Gee, it's funny you should bring that up, 'cause I'm not sure that you have a right to be here.
Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III: Whoa, what is this? Oh, my Goodness, it's a Police Report.
Ray Zalinsky: What all of this about?
Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III: Let's see. "Paul Barrish, married in 1993 to Beverly Barrish aka Beverly Burns". Richard, how could Beverly be married to Paul and my dad at the same time? Interesting
Richard Hayden: Yes. Provocative.
Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III: What I think it means is that your marriage to my dad was never legal.
Michelle: Which means half of Tommy's shares still go to Tommy.

Paul: That's it! I'm not gonna take this.
Richard Hayden: It's not over yet, Lee Harvey.
Paul laughs nervously, then runs away
shouts
Ray Zalinsky: Keep him in the complex, Marty.
Paul runs inside the Zalinsky auto training center
trips over the lever that starts the crash test; car drives fast
Ray Zalinsky: Hit the brakes!
screaming; car stops abruptly, sends Paul flying into a chair; a huge test bag drops down and smashes his testicles
Richard Hayden: Ooh! That will ruin his weekend.

[Blue_Tires]

1. the part where he sets fire to that little model car

fuckin' funny quality american cinema

[bicentennial_baby]

2. goddamn i love that stupid movie

seen it soooooo many times :D