Hocus Pocus! You now have a superpower!

[LostInAnomie]

What is it?

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

1. I can inflict diarrhea with a mere glance

Chimpy, Cheney, and the rest of the mafia would never be able to appear on television again.

[HawkerHurricane]

2. Mind Control.

With mere eye contact, I can make a person do what I want...

(Hey, George, tell the truth...)

[The Traveler]

3. Heh. Better yet

with a simple glance, I cause a person to exercise independent, critical thought, and thus become truly free.

[Jamastiene]

4. Supercharged Charisma that I can use to

attract anyone I want and presuade anyone I want to do anything I want anytime. I'd make doubly damn sure we'd win 2008 presidential election and every other one after that for the rest of my life. Also, I'd find the woman of my dreams and actually try to win her over as opposed to my normal fear she'd laugh at my pitiful attempts to woo her...

[Mojambo]

5. It's boring, but I gotta go with flight

Gas prices being what they are and all...

[bridgit]

6. i can turn into a puddle of stank water...

and when i do i splash up onto the shoes & socks of eva-doers making them smell so bad they have to throw them away, however, and here's the part i love the most, while they are in the throes of my process; i simply sock'em up, cuff'em & book'em dan'o :thumbsup:

[billyskank]

7. I can become invisible

but only when nobody is looking.

(The Mystery Men is cool).

[Merrick]

8. I can eat fecal waste matter

and shit cheeseburgers.

$2 each.

[LostInAnomie]

10. What happens if you would eat the cheeseburgers?

[Merrick]

11. I'd crap broccoli at 59c a pound

so I wouldn't. Its a loss. I'm on a rigid sunflower seed, spaghetti sauce diet until I retire.

[LostInAnomie]

12. Yeah, I wouldn't eat my own crap either.

But at least with your new found powers you have the option.

[hfojvt]

9. I have the ability to create turgid epistles of crytic prolix screed

Well, Oz never did give nothin' to the tin man either.

[bliss_eternal]

13. The ability to look at a man's crotch, magically forcing him to

tell the truth.

[NMMNG]

14. I can end war with a wave of my hand

Goodbye BFEE, goodbye Halliburton, goodbye trillions of dollars wasted, millions of deaths and depletion of natural resources. Instead all of that time, money and effort could be used for the benefit of humankind (those who chose not to do good could sit home and listen to Dumbya read My Pet Goat).