How many times has this happened to you?

[Pale Blue Dot]

Thursday night I took my girlfriend to dinner with my ex-wife and my son. The ex and I have a good relationship, and we have remained friends. Since the girlfriend and I are getting pretty darned serious (:loveya:), we thought it was important for the ex to meet someone who will be spending a lot of time with her son.

The dinner went fine. However, the already awkward situation was made even more so by the fact that one of the waitresses at the restaurant was my son's teacher last year. She came over to the table to say "hi", and I can only imagine what must have been going through her head when she saw the four of us sitting at the same table.

By the way, I asked the ex later what she thought of my girlfriend, and she said, "She was sweet. I wasn't expecting her to be so sweet" (:wtf:). I guess she thinks the reason our marriage failed was because she was sweet? :shrug:

Has that ever happened to you?

[Samurai_Writer]

1. Something similar, kind of...

My son's father and I divorced when my son was a year old, so my son doesn't remember us ever being together. His dad is the type who HAS to be in a relationship. I was wife #2. He's now on wife #5, although I have to admit, he's been with this one for over 13 years now. When they first married, there was a lot of tension, because she already had 3 kids, and he stopped paying child support for our son because he 'had' to support these 3 new kids. It didn't help that one of the kids had the same name as my son and my husband (my son is a Junior).

That was when my son was about 11 years old. When my son was graduating from high school, his dad and wife, and grandparents came to his graduation (they live out of state, and my son went to see his dad every summer and during christmas). I had not seen my ex since my son was about 8 years old, and had never met his wife. So, we all go out to lunch after the graduation is over -- my son, me, my mom, son's dad and his wife, and my ex-in laws... and my girlfriend. We had a great time, and his wife was SO nice. I really liked her, and they really liked my girlfriend.

My ex and I have always been friendly towards each other. Even when he wasn't paying child support when it was desperately needed, I never said a bad thing about him in front of my son. My son is now 24 and has a good relationship with his dad, and sees him as often as he can.

[GOPisEvil]

2. Let's see, except for the teacher, son, ex-wife and girlfriend, yeah!

:D

[Pale Blue Dot]

3. Hey, I think the teacher's single...

Let me know if you'd like me to pass her your phone number. :D

[GOPisEvil]

4. Sure! Although I hope she's the patient type.

I don't know when I'm headed that way again. But if she's going to DC for the march, that's as close as I'll get anytime really soon.

;)

[khashka]

5. Uhm... kinda

After I divorced my wife, I gave her away at her wedding. Her dad was supposed to do it but he was getting married the same day, so he couldn't. And I was dating her brother... And I'm a libertarian and her new husband was a communist...

Awkward, to say the least.

Khash.

[FuzzySlippers]

6. Khash, your life is just one continuous soap opera, isn't it?

;-)

[khashka]

7. Yup

As The World Turns R Me.

And you don't even know the half of it! It gets a lot weirder :)

Khash.

[no name no slogan]

20. Damn dude, i thought MY family was a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen

wow, you must have a very sophisticated piece of software to keep track of all that. :D

[skygazer]

8. Well, sort of

My first husband and I had a very civilized break-up - we were just very young when we got together and we drifted apart. We continued to live together for several months after the decision to split because he needed to find a place to stay and during that time, I encouraged him to date since I was his first and only at that point.

So he'd come home and tell me about his latest date and I'd give him pointers and encouragement. He eventually met the woman he married (they've been together for 15 years now) and I liked her as soon as I met her. When I visit them (and I do fairly regularly), I stay at their house and the three of us have a great time together. Her friends think it's very strange but we all get along really well (which made it nice for our kids who call his wife "mom" - doesn't bother me a bit. They call me "mom" too).

[ghostsofgiants]

9. Ugh, at least twice a week...

Haha. :P

[SarahB]

10. You're girlfriend sounds like an amazing woman.

:P

(Actually, it sounds like she loves you a lot.)

It hasn't happened to me because I think my ex-husband wants to pretend like I don't have a boyfriend and tries to avoid him instead of trying to be civil. Anyway, at least my boyfriend is nothing if not sweet, charming (and inherently quite the diplomat himself), so I'm sure when the time comes, all will be fine.

As for the teacher, perhaps she was thinking:







:loveya:

[jpgray]

13. Q You are girlfriend? A You are devo!

[SarahB]

16. Ummm.... yeah.

:D
(Assuming you mean I'm "devoted", not the band. :P)

I guess we're both of a similar mind that when children are involved, you have to put things aside to do what's best for them. We both had many reasons to end our marriages, but she's his son's mom, I love him, his son's a part of him, and I owe her that respect of knowing who I am. I'm a mommy too, so I get it.

Thankfully, despite all the grownup issues, both of our exes are very good and loving parents, so I think that helps a lot. Sometimes we both have to "take the high road", but it serves a greater (and more important) good.

[Robb]

11. Almost exactly the same thing happened to me

...except for then the pizza delivery guy showed up, and this weird guitar wah-wah music started. :shrug:

[Zuni]

12. It happens so often that I have lost track

[Nikia]

14. No, but at college

One evening. I was sitting alone. Sitting at tables adjacent to me me was my ex boyfriend, the guy that I had been hooking up with, the guy that I wanted to be with, and the guy who I didn't want to be with but wanted to be with me (yes, those were four separate guys).

[Left Is Write]

15. No, but that's largely because I don't have a girlfriend or an ex-wife.

I do, however, have an ex-SO who is the father of my oldest child, and he had a longtime girlfriend (I think it was 12 years they were together before they split) who was an absolute bitch on wheels to me every chance she got. I'd cite examples, but then I'd just get pissed off all over again.

Anyway, you must be a heckuva a guy, and I'm glad that all parties are getting along well. Your son is a lucky boy!

[CanuckAmok]

17. you can examine a similar social dynamic by substituting...

..."girlfriend" with box of designer stemware, and "ex-wife" with Neptune, God of the Sea. Basically it's the same thing.

[Arugula Latte]

18. Well, yeah, who hasn't had that one happen?

With the canolli and all, right?

[jpgray]

19. How does Sadko fit into this?

[NewJeffCT]

21. no, it has not

I have honestly not heard from my ex-wife in about 4 1/2 years. I have no idea where she is or what she is doing. The last time we spoke was right around when I had started a new job & simultaneously also had just started dating a new woman (who eventually became my new wife)...

I did not mention the new woman I was dating, as even I didn't know how serious it would get and before her, I had really been on a dating spree.

The only odd thing was when I said we should stay in touch with her -as the times we had talked & gotten together after filing divorce, we had actually gotten along very well - was that her new boyfriend wouldn't allow her to speak with me. I was kind of surprised, as she would have been offended to the point of kicking my ass if I had ever tried to forbid her from talking to a former boyfriend or anything... and, she was generally a fairly domineering personality at times with me. So, I was kind of surprised... but, I guess from one end of the pendulum - laid back & easy going me - to the other, a controlling guy is some psychological type of thing.

The only thing I've heard from her a few times since that last call in March or April of 2001 was from creditors looking to hunt her down, so she still was spending money like before.