|
Angst Free Zone - No Wallowing
Any reform must be accounted a success which does not have an effect exactly the opposite of that intended
Any sufficiently complicated technology is indistinguishable from bad karma
Any twelve people who can't get themselves out of jury duty are not my peers
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about
Be sure to save your money. You never know when it might be worth something
Beam me up--they're not hiring either
Behind every great fortune there is a crime - Balzac
Don't believe everything you're told
Don't mind me--I'll just bleed
Don't try to engage my enthusiasm--I haven't got one
Either I've been missing something or nothing has been going on
Everything is going to be all right - for varying values of all right
Go on and try it. The worst you can do it make a fool of yourself in front of all your friends
Have you ever had your phone tapped by the government? YOU WILL, and the company that brings it to you is ...AT&T.
He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead
I am not a monotheist -- the world looks as though it were designed by a committee
I don't need you, you know--I can be lonely all by myself
I know it all, I just can't remember it simultaneously
I love mankind--It's people I can't stand
I never believe anything until it's been officially denied
I used to be disgusted - now I'm just amused.
I was stupid, I was expendable, and here I am
I'd rather be dead
I'm not depressed, I'm existentially challenged
I'm not really happy - It's a chemical imbalance
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts
If all else fails, lower your standards
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If only there was some indication that the Universe was doing it on purpose
If you don't know history, you're condemned to repeat it. If you do know history, you're doomed to make other dumb mistakes
Is there really a difference between whining and complaining about whining?
It takes all kinds of people to make a world... but don't you ever wonder if the percentages are wrong?
It's just AFOG {Another F***ing Opportunity for Growth}
It's not who wins or loses, it's who keeps score
Its OK to do the right thing as long as you don't get caught
Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence
Maybe I don't FEEL like smiling -
Meekness is uncommon patience, quietly planning a worthwhile revenge
My life's really not so awful--it just seems that way when I'm awake
Never trust a person who isn't having at least one crisis
No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come
Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious
Plan A never works. Plan B almost never works. No one ever has a Plan C
Rule #1: You can't cure stupid -
Smile and the world smiles with you. Frown and you get credit for thinking
Some would sooner die than think. In fact, they often do.- (Bertrand Russell)
Take my advice. I'm not using it
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The early bird still has to eat the worms.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts -
The light at the end of the tunnel may be a NO EXIT sign
The obscure we see immediately, the completely apparent takes longer
The shortest distance between two points has a bridge out
The windmills are winning.
There is always free cheese in a mousetrap
This button isn't very witty and it runs on and on and you'd probably be much happier reading some other button. Most of them aren't half as depressing as this one. Don't say I didn't warn you.
This isn't hell. This is where you get sent when you've been bad in hell.
This life is a test - it is only a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do
Two wrongs are only the beginning
We are born naked, wet and hungry. It goes downhill from there
We have only two things to worry about - either that things will never get back to normal, or that they already have
Welcome back to square one
Wrapped around every silver lining is a big black mushy cloud
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time--that should be enough for most purposes.
Hello. My name is Oedipus. You are my father. Prepare to die
Fine. No one understands you. That doesn't make you an Artist.
History is the science of what never happens twice
Ours is an age which is proud of machines that think and suspicious of humans who try to
Subversive intellectual ... may be under surveillance by one or more governments
The Band's with me
When words fail, play music
Yes, but what if this weren't a rhetorical question?
A child of five could understand this - fetch me a child of five
And the brains are even bigger!
Are you reading my button or are you transfixed by my beauty?
Blithering Genius
But if I learn from my mistakes, it'll take the fun out of making them again.
Death or compliance - now that's not too much to ask for, is it?
Earth is 90% full. Please delete anyone you can
Everyone shares my opinion. Some people realize it faster than others.
Free Roaming Agent of Chaos.
I am a splendid combination of talent and trouble
I am the Imp of the Perverse - Knowing this won't help you, either.
I have a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!
I never give people hell. I just tell them the truth and they think it's hell.
I was raised to be charming, not sincere.
I will finish what I star
I'm not panicking. I'm watching you panic. It's much more entertaining
I'm the leader - which way did they go?
I'm not shy - I'm studying my prey
It's ok to disagree with me. However, once I explain where you're wrong, you're supposed to become enlightened and change your mind. Congratulating me on how smart I am is optional.
My job: To comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable
Not only do I not care if you smoke, I don't care if you burst into flames and die!
Stand Back! I Have a Brain and I'm Not Afraid To Use It
Subvert the dominant paradigm!
Thank you for not being perky
That which does not kill me had better be able to run away damn fast.
That was Before ... now you're dealing with Me.
The same qualities that make me so charming have also made me unemployable
This isn't denial. I'm just very selective about which reality I accept.
Warning: You have entered a Tact Free Zone
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?
Your reality is lies and balderdash, and I'm proud to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever
Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?
Censor, n: Someone who thinks they know more than you should
Don't destroy the world in the first chapter. You'll need it later.
Eschew Obfuscation!
I'm pro-choice. I'll read whatever I want.
If a book and a head collide and a hollow sound is heard, is it the fault of the book?
Imagination is intelligence having fun
Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read - Groucho Marx
The worst thing about censorship is
Is there life before coffee? Yes, but not intelligent life.
Mornings are a delusion of the planet bound.
Sunrise is nature's way of telling you it's bedtime
I am under the influence of sugar, caffeine and lack of sleep and should not be held responsible for my behavior
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon
Carpe Noctem. Seize the night. I do more work after 2 AM than most people do all day
Calm down -- it's only ones and zeroes
Computers are like the Old Testament God -- lots of rules and no mercy Go not to the machines for counsel, for they will say both 1 and 0
Hardware: the part of the computer that can be kicked. If you can only curse at it, it's software.
Hit any key. With what?
I keep hitting the escape key but I'm still here.
I've got a life but it won't run on my operating system.
Insert disk 5 of 4 to continue
Tech Support is just a busy signal away
The nice thing about standards is that you have so many to choose from.
To continue, strike keyboard with forehead
Unlike the 50 million copies we've already sold you, this version actually works!
Where's the CNTRL-ALT-MAKE SENSE button?
Window detected. Delete? YES/HELL YES!
Would somebody PLEASE reboot the clue server?
You are in a twisty little passage of standards, all conflicting
You know better then to trust a strange computer.
Your mouse pointer has moved. You must reboot Windows for this change to take effect.
I am Pentium of Borg - Division is futile, you will be approximated.
Microsoft will make something that doesn't suck when it starts manufacturing vacuum cleaners.
Help Desk: We read the manual for you
SysAdminis. can't be sued for malpractice but surgeons don't have to deal with patients who install new versions of their innards.
Will answer stupid User questions for food
You are in the presence of a System Administrator ... KNEEL
All the world's an analog stage, and digital circuits play only bit parts
An excess of syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semi-colon
Beware of Geeks bearing GIFS
Disklexia: putting floppies in upside down
If a train station is where the train stops, what's a work station?
I am the wafer, the Truth Table, and the Light Pen , and no Math commeth to the Processor but through Memory
Love to eat them disk files. Disk files what I love to eat. Byte they little headers off, Nybble on they tiny feet
Nobody Respects The Spammish Imposition! - (Jo Godwin)
Obsolete power corrupts obsoletely
A host is a host from coast to coast, and no one will talk to a host that's close, unless the host (that isn't close) is busy, hung or dead.
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
