The future most newsworthy story in Faux Gnus' history?

[ChairmanAgnostic]

Liberal traitors force the Bush administration to drop the terror alert level to green. This leads directly to Al Qaida forces invading the Island of Aruba, where they kidnap spoiled blonde American high school girls, and hold them out for ransom.

In the meantime, the administration claims that the newly formed Islamic Nation of Iraq is actually a clear victory for neocon theories because their treaties with Iran really don't amount to anything important.

But no worries, with gas at $9 a gallon because of the Venezuelan embargo on the US, we plan to remove our last forces from South Korea and invade South America because of intelligence pointing to Venezuela's cooperation with Aruban Al Qaida kidnappers.

Meanwhile, since football season is starting, Faux will not waste time on meaningless foreign drivel and concentrate solely on football, hourlong special bios of the missing blonde american HS girls and major discussions about the great shape that President Bush is in, weighing only 108 lbs, and looking more and more like a bleached version of Vice President Condi Rice.

They won't even mention that the newly convened Supreme COurt has invalidated the Constitutional Amendment preventing His Holiness President Bush from seeking a 3d term, while at the same time, declaring women's right to vote a sin against humanity and Christianity.

[billyskank]

1. What do gnus have to do with it?

[Dr.Phool]

2. In a side note

Rupert Murdoch and Robert Bork were killed in a drive by shooting at a Florida crack house. Joe Scarborough says he was in Washington at the time. In the mean time Bill Frist conducted the autopsy by videotape.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

3. while Bill O'Reilly was arrested for sexually accosting a falafel

In the mean time, John Gibson fatally swallowed his tongue after spending too much time in the mirror.