Tell a funny/cute story - I need a little pick-me-up this a.m.

[JimmyJazz]

Here's mine:

The cleaning people in my office are from Nicaragua. I know this from the bumpersticker of the Nicaraguan flag on their car.

So, one night I was working later than usual and everyone was gone except the cleaning people. I was playing Washington Bullets on my CD player. The entire song is in English (which they speak very little of) except the part where that goes, "SANDINISTA."

Can I just tell you that the cleaning people are a little afraid of me now? :)

********

I don't know why that makes me laugh, but it does.

[LynneSin]

1. I saw Lez Zeppelin Saturday night

they are an all-lesbian Led Zeppelin tribute band. They were really good too especially the guitariest. They opened for Black Dog which personally was a bunch of middle-aged men who tried to scream the shit out of Led Zeppelin

[JimmyJazz]

2. That's great!

"Lez Zeppelin" :rofl:

The weather is supposed to be pretty nice over the next couple of weeks for a preview day trip to DC.

[LynneSin]

5. We still going on Saturday

:bounce:

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. We went camping and canoeing this weekend. My son just turned

7. He went wading in the lake with his grandfather in his swim trunks. After he got dressed he was playing around for a little bit and then came up to me and said, "Momma, could you check and see if I've got underwear on." So I did. And he didn't. He looked at me and said,"I didn't think so because all I could feel down there was clear pants." Cracks me up even to type it. :hi:

[sniffa]

4. a guy waLks into a pie, shop and orders a pizza

the pie-man asks, "wouLd you Like that cut in 6 sLices or 8?"

the man repLies, "oh 6; i couLd never eat 8."

[Wetzelbill]

6. Ok, when I was little

like about 4 and my younger brother was 3, we stole our family car. See, we live out in the country and the local power company will send somebody out to read the meter every month, well, this one time the guy came out to read our meter and as my mom was talking to him, I led my brother over to our car. He took over the wheel and I manned the gas pedal and brake. I guess we were out in the wheat field next to our house going about 65 and peeling out and everything. If we would have hit a ditch we would've probably killed ourselves. However we would pull back up to the house every so often and stop with the doors locked as the electric guy and my mom tried to persuade us to get out of the car. I guess we kept flipping them both off and saying "Fuck you!" etc. I have heard that I had a filthy mouth and was very bad at a young age. Anyway, finally, during one of our pit stops my mom convinced us to get out of the car by saying she had candy for us. We heard the word "Candy" and that was that, we jumped out and promptly ran into an embarrassed, worried, pissed off mom.

We received no candy that day, my friends. More like some spankings. :)

I still don't behave very well if you want to know the truth. :evilgrin:

[merh]

7. I'll tell you my favorite lymerick that I learned as a kid

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who are now living belly to belly
Because in their haste,
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly!




Important Note: This was published in Mad magazine. I had no idea what it meant, I just knew that my mom was appalled and wrote a letter to the editor of the magazine and wouldn't let me buy the magazine again. (Of course I did buy it, I was not to be told "no". Freedeom of the press and freedom of expression are important rights!

[JimmyJazz]

9. That's cute!

I thought Mad Magazine was pretty cutting edge anyway?

BTW - I sent you Complete Control through gmail. Let me know if you got it!

:hi:

[merh]

14. I'll check and let you know.

Of course, you will notice that I learned to be an activist from my mom. She never hesitated to take the time to write her opinion in a letter and send it on to the correct parties.

I have a letter somewhere in the house where she received a response to her letter to President Kennedy. A member of his staff replied on behalf of the President. She was irate that the DOD had instigated a freeze in promotions in the military, my father was by-passed for a promotion and she was angry. She had done her military wife thing and he was a good soldier, so she let JFK know how unfair it was that he did not get his promotion.

Thus, the willingness to bitch about injustice is in my blood! :hi:

:hug:

[tjwmason]

8. There was once this incredibly charming lady

She looked utterly drop-dead gorgeous, she was witty, erudite and had fantastic taste in men.

She started posting at D.U. and called herself JimmyJazz.

:loveya:

[JimmyJazz]

10. That's not a funny story.

I liked it, though :loveya:

[WCGreen]

11. Here goes....

Well, nah you've heard that one....

And this, nah that one two....

Okay, have I told..... yep....

I got nothing

[sundog]

12. sigh...

i would if i could... but i am tired...

let's see, i woke up this morning and made coffee... does that help? :)

:P

[JimmyJazz]

13. It would help if my problem was insomnia.

:boring:





:P

[sundog]

15. shaddup

:P

[henslee]

16. I bought a pair of boots on sale that were too tight -- but I was in total

denial, figuring I would work them in. Anyway, off I went to went to pay a utility bill in person, in my new boots. I parked far away and had to walk through a spooky alley with winos in it. Maybe it was the gingerly way I was walking in the stiff shoes but I was getting heckled by the winos who thought I was a male hooker. Taunts of "hey puto!" "How much?" "How about a little love?" rang out. It was a long alley. I ignored them but the quicker I walked, the more they hassled me. It was scary... but funny. I will never buy a pair of tight shoes again.