Anybody here ever chosen celibacy?

[khashka]

I'm thinking about it....

Just wondering what your experiences were? Did it rock? Did it suck?


Khash.

[Left Is Write]

1. What kind of time frame are we talking about?

Permanently? A year? Six months?

I was voluntarily celibate for quite a while in my mid 20s.

[khashka]

20. Time frame? Depends on how long it works for me...

I spent six years in my twenties celibate. It was kinda cool....

Nobody will praise sex more passionately than me.... but I think voluntary celibacy can be rewarding in odd ways.

Just trying to decide whether to do it and wondering what other people's thoughts were.

Khash.

[KG]

2. as opposed to having it thrust upon you?

[LincolnMcGrath]

5. LMAO

:rofl:

[sundog]

17. hahaha

:P

[Deja Q]

49. !

:rofl:

[LincolnMcGrath]

3. I was celibate for fourteen years

:evilgrin:

[Wickerman]

4. In retrospect I should've put better use to "that time"

:eyes: Wish I would've made a conscious decision. Might have learned more from it.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

6. I am presently forced into it.

It's because of where I am living right now. Absolutely no social options.

It's not the most fun I have ever had with my clothes on.

[Sannum]

11. Are you currently in prison

:evilgrin:

[tjdee]

16. Ditto on that.

I don't think there is a single liberal man under 35 in this county, much less one who I'd be mutually attracted to.

Ah well.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. NEVER!

Are you fucking nuts? I cannot see you celibate, my dear Khash...

I think you'd go out of your mind, and it would NOT be pretty....

:shrug:

[OffWithTheirHeads]

8. No, but I wish the Talibaptists would!

Keep em from breeding. Got to be a good thing.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

9. I wouldn't say I chose it.............

it sorta snuck up on me, and beat me to a pulp.

[MrSlayer]

10. Um...No.

Why would you inflict such torture upon yourself?

[Orsino]

12. Nope. It sucked.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

13. Over what?

[CarbonDate]

14. Does that mean no masterbation?

If not, I've been celibate for the past year or so. It's not so bad. It's certainly worth avoiding the hassle of a relationship, that's for sure.

[jonnyblitz]

15. i can go for long periods without even when i don't have to...

seems like too much work sometimes. it saves so much hassle if you don't need to have it all the time :P

[sundog]

25. lazy bastad

:P

[jonnyblitz]

30. lol..gas is too expensive these days..

bastid. i got my money's worth outta aol back in the day :loveya:

[sundog]

40. oh that's depressing...

when getting a good date isn't in the budget... believe me, i know that one well x(

[ismnotwasm]

18. Yup

Made a committment for a year. One of the best learning times of my life as far as men and social stuff. I wouldn't even date. Got asked a lot. Said no (kindly) a lot. Explained why, most guys took it very well once they understood it wasn't a personal rejection. After my year was up, I met my husband and we've been going strong for a lot of years now.

[khashka]

24. One of the best learning times of my life

Great words ismnotwasm. Last time I chose celibacy I learned a lot - about myself, about life, about men.

Great to hear about you and your husband - I love happy stories :)

Khash.

[theshadow]

19. Yes, but then I got divorced.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

21. Yes

I was celibate until I was married, and I married in my late 30s. Men that I knew before I met my husband just weren't very mature or weren't interested in what I'm interested in, or they were happily married. I didn't think it worth it to have sex just to say I'd had sex.

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. I found it be just fine, and find it now to be just fine

I waited until I found my one true SO, and also believe in monagomy. Since we've been separated by ocean, I've been celibate.

I am a human being, so I can control myself. Celibacy is just another way to go.

Not to say that my choice is more moral - some people choose to be sexually active, and if that's what they're called to, then all the glory to them! (Sometimes I'm jealous of my gay friends who seem to be getting it all the time...)

But for me, avoiding pregnancies, STDs, HIV, AIDS, and other disasters of sexual activity, and also my own ethic of monagamy, is of higher value than being sexually active. And, as I stated, since I am a human being, I have a brain; and since I have a brain, I am able to control myself and my actions in all areas of life.


But, everyone's different, and we have to follow our own call.

[LaurenG]

67. Oh Rabrrrrr

You are my hero. Well said and well done. Hell yeah!!!:bounce: :applause:

[SarahB]

23. No.

I've never had to either. The longest I've gone in my adult life with no sexual experiences at all was about two months.

I'm comfortable with my sexuality and have zero desire or need to abandon that. It's a very normal, healthy, and fun part of the human experience. I don't understand why anyone would choose celibacy. For me, it would almost be a denial of my humanity.

[Left Is Write]

27. I chose celibacy because I was not in a relationship, did not

have the desire to engage in casual sexual encounters (did that, and found it eroded my self-respect), and was not in a place where I was ready or able to pursue a relationship. Celibacy to me was preferable to having sex with people I didn't really care about.

[fudge stripe cookays]

33. I've been in that exact same place.

And afterward, felt much better about myself than I would have if I'd continued just doing it with anyone just to DO it.

I went for 2 1/2 years once. By choice.
FSC

[SarahB]

34. That's true.

If I were to not be in my current relationship, I think it would be some time before I'd be ready again. I kind of got used to loveless sex the last few years of my marriage and was more able to compartmentalize that part of me for awhile. :( Now, I'm not so sure if I could do that anymore.

Also, since I don't equate sexuality with "good" or "bad", I don't judge others on their choices or experiences. I was completely monogamous for 14 years, can count the number of men I've been with on one hand, but a couple were more of the casual variety and at the time, that's what was right for me. As long as people are honest, that's what matters most.

[matcom]

26. i personally LOVE IT!

no, "ooooooo GOD..." and "oh my LORD...." and "take me JESUS....."

its really why i'm an atheist

[miss_kitty]

28. Yes

It's fine. I at one time in my life fucked like a bunny (I scored mid high on the sleaze test), but this 'not doing it' shit suits me fine. If it didn't, I'd be finding someone to do me.

[Mikimouse]

29. Yes, and I found it very rewarding...

I was celibate for 5 years, age 40-45, for the simple reason that I wanted/needed to know if I could have a relationship with a woman that was not based on sex considerations. I was successful, and am very happy that I did what I did. Relationships can be a real eye-opener about the male-female dynamics when sex is factored out.

[scarlet_owl]

31. I'm married and nearly celibate.

It sucks.

[ghostsofgiants]

32. No, but it seems to have chosen me

x(

[Deja Q]

35. I've had un-chosen celibacy for over 4 years.

Hated it.

I'm about to again, or so I fear.

[In_The_Wind]

36. Yes ~

It did give me time to think about many things ...

One of the things I thought about was ... ... ... why do I want to be celibate ... ask and answered ... I don't!

[sundog]

37. haha - the hardest lesson is the least complicated

[In_The_Wind]

39. I don't know ~ something about it just didn't feel right.

ya know what I mean

[sundog]

41. sometimes i think the worst thing you can do is deny your own nature

it's self-defeating

[In_The_Wind]

45. I can only be who and what I am.

I value honesty above all else ... so it only seems right for me to be honest with myself ... first ...

[xmas74]

38. Right now.

It really sucks.
Can't afford a babysitter and won't bring the scum back home w/ me so I'm celebate.

You're sex drive is even worse than mine so don't do it.

[AussieDave]

42. I have it continually thrust upon me

sometimes I feel like a salmon swimming upstream........

[Tallison]

43. There is such a thing as lousy sex

contrary to popular opinion. I'd rather do a lot of things than experience it again. As for good sex? Well, little beats that, but it has everything to do w/chemistry, which is harder to find.

[DerekG]

44. I am a Christian socialist

23 year old virgin, here.

Although my politics are quite radical (even for this place), my sensibilities are, for lack of a better word, traditionalist (but I do support gay marriage, for the same reasons cited by George McGovern). It's not that I believe pre-marital sex is a sin; rather, I fancy chastity to be a matter of integrity.

[tanyev]

48. I can relate.

The choices I have made in my personal life would qualify me to be a poster child for the religious right. Only problem is, I can't stand to be around them. You'll find your way. Actually, it sounds like you already have.

:toast:

[DerekG]

51. It's odd, isn't it?

Progressives are perceived to be hedonists, while conservatives are fancied to be austere (the proclivities of *some* of the anarchists and hippies aren't enough to explain this view, either). Yet when you look at such fine specimens as Newt Gingrich, Bob Barr, Henry Hyde, and Bill O'Reilly, it turns out that a lot of rightists are the biggest sexual deviants of them all.

I'll tell you something: the Campus Crusade for Christ cadre was surprised to hear that I cited Leo Tolstoy, A.J. Muste, Dorothy Day, John XXIII, and Daniel/Philip Berrigan as heroes, rather than, say...Billy Graham, Tim LeHaye, and Pat Robertson.

[tanyev]

66. LOL!

I can just picture the ones sitting closest to you trying to unobtrusively move a little bit further away. That's OK, though. You don't want to be sitting too close to them when their heads explode. The right wingers' brains are particularly ill-equipped to comprehend viewpoints that differ from their accepted norm. I just wish I had been so bold back when I was your age. :thumbsup:

[all.of.me]

46. since celebacy means no masturbation, i'd have to say....

.... no.

[BlueIris]

47. Celibacy, if it is what you want, rocks, of course.

I've been happily celibate for a long time now, simply because I have no desire to pursue relationships, even casual ones, at this time. I haven't met a person I would even fantasize about sleeping with for more than two years. It's a good life for me because I don't want another kind of life. If I did? Well, it wouldn't be so much fun. It's only going to work for you if you don't want its opposite, I think.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

50. You mean when there was another choice?

I don't think so! :evilgrin:

[Nikia]

52. My senior year of high school

Plus some time before and after, around 2 years. I became "sexually active" my sophomore year of high school. Later in high school though, I found that I just wanted to concentrate on doing my stuff. I was involved in several activites and a good student. I was going away to college anyway so I didn't want to start a relationship. I didn't want casual sex either, both of social and personal resons.
I have been with my husband since I was 19 and obviously have not been celibate since.
I think that if anything happened to him or our marriage, I would be celibate for a while for personal reasons.

[R. A. Fuqua]

53. definitely.

I am not someone who will be with someone that I do not care about.

If I do not have someone that I genuinely care for in my life--then I am celibate. I have never wanted to have a "casual encounter".

It is a personal preference, but I would rather be alone that with someone that I do not have feelings for.

there have been periods in my life when I was celebate--and I could have "hooked" up with someone but I choose not to because I did not feel a deep enough connection with that person.

[leftofthedial]

54. don't do it! screw everything that you can whenever you can!

My marriage effectively ended 9 years ago

I chose celibacy for four years of that

I'm neither a saint no ascetic, but I didnt' want to divorce (because I'm a self-destructive idiot!) and I didn't want to commit adultery (because I'm a sucker who keeps his promises).

It neither rocked nor sucked. I accomplished some other things during this period, but it wasn't a politive thing in and of itself. I love sex and it was certainly a constant distraction fo rme. I'd definitely rate it a net negative--maybe a -6 on a scale of -10 (sucked) to +10 (rocked), but that may have more to with my particular circumstances.

[shockra]

55. For over five years.

And that's not even the longest stretch. I'm not a casual relationship person. Others here have put it quite eloquently.

Sometimes I'd rather not be, but bad relationships are dangerous for your psyche. And all too easy to find. They're not worth the toll they take. Not to mention the health and pregnancy risks. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that when I'm climbing the walls, LOL.

For the most part it's liberating not having your life revolve around sex and the dating game. You can devote that energy to other things, and other sides of yourself.

[WCGreen]

56. I was completely celebate until I was 13....

Then, I discovered something.....

Good

[liberalpragmatist]

59. 13 ?! - nt

[WCGreen]

61. We had a great house keeper when we were growing up....

If it happened this way now, I would be on Dr. Phil crying about my lost youth...

But then, well we said, good house keeper......

[In_The_Wind]

71. ... at 13

... at 14

[Canuckistanian]

57. Not really. It chose me. At least for a while.

And no, it did not "rock".

[Whoa_Nelly]

58. It sucks..and it doesn't

Have been "celibate" for over five years now...there has been NO ONE to spark my interest during this time period.

It sucks because it would be nice to have some hot sweaty memories...amybe even a relationship that is worth my time and efforts.

but it DOESN'T suck because DAMN! Life is pretty simple wight now while I make choices that impact my life, even though these choices will have an impact on my immediate family's life, it does make life a lot simpler in making life-changing decisions.

So, "celibacy" has been more or less the option I have opted for while I move on with my life with fewer complications.

Damn! If I had been told this was what life would be like after 50, I would not have believed them. Now, I know it to be more than true for many of my peers.

[liberalpragmatist]

60. 19-year-old virgin, right here

I'm actually not that determined at this point to have sex - I'd rather have a good relationship and let it come as part of that.

Although, frankly, what actually worries me more is that I'm what some call a "kiss-virgin." I've just never shared a moment, despite having many female friends.

So I guess I haven't really "chosen" celibacy - it's just happened and I'm more focused on what comes before sex right now - FOREPLAY?! (no, I'm just kidding abt the last part).

[enigmatic]

62. 2 years in my late 20's

I pretty much closed myself off from contact w/ anyone else and became a Recluse as I travelled around the country.

It didn't bother me, really; I just looked at it as a hiatus from that part of my being.

[notadmblnd]

63. define celibate

no self gratification too or just no sex with another human?

[Borgnine]

64. No, it chose me.

Actually, I think it's a lot like that episode of Seinfeld where George abstains from sex and becomes smarter. You really do get a lot more done, at least in a mental sense, when you don't worry about getting sex.

[dutchdoctor]

65. Locking. You know the rules: no sex threads!

And this is a "no sex thread"! :P

[Trigger Hippie]

68. I've chosen it for most of my life.

Sex isn't that important to me. :shrug:

It's a lot more trouble than it's worth, IMO.

But it does suck sometimes....:)

[Orsino]

69. Not for *myself*, I haven't. n/t

[MN ChimpH8R]

70. Voluntary or involuntary?

I've had thirty-plus years experience with the latter. It does NOT rock.

[redqueen]

72. Yes.

Since my marriage went kaput.

I'm thinking of continuing after my situation changes, though. We'll see...

[Lilith Velkor]

73. Yup. Man, that was a crazy week.

:evilgrin:

[skygazer]

74. Not voluntarily

Celibacy doesn't agree with me. I find it really kick-starts depression nicely.