Do you think it's bad for kids to encourage them to play sports?

[imperialismispasse]

Hi. This is my first thread. Be gentle.

This was from another thread yesterday. Somebody asked what Pop Warner football was, and I explained it and then said that I admit that when I have kids, I would like them to play Pop Warner, Little League or whatever else. Somebody responded to me and said that team sports is bad for kid's self-esteem if they're not good at them, and it encourages kids who can't play sports to be couch potatos. (? I don't really get why a kid who wasn't great at sports would go to the other extreme, but whatever.)

I responded by saying I wouldn't push my kids (that I don't have yet by the way) to play sports if they didn't want to. But yeah, I'm a guy and I have a selfish wish (that I could keep to myself I guess) to see my son or daughter play Little League. I love baseball and I would like to have my kid share that love.

If they don't like sports, fine. If they are into music or some other activity where they feel like they accomplished something and they are challenged by it, then great. It doesn't have to be sports. But is there anything wrong with encouraging your kids in sports?

[progmom]

1. i don't think there's anything wrong with encouraging physical activity

I played sports and instruments as a kid and feel like I got a lot out of both.

[imperialismispasse]

3. I did too

I played sports for all three seasons and I learned about challenging myself, pushing myself to do something I didn't think I could do. That's been helpful in all my life since then.

Plus we have problems in this country with kids being overweight too. Wouldn't it be good to encourage them to get off the couch?

[tjwmason]

6. But it's bad to encourage adults to play dangerous sports

such as soft-ball. :P

:bounce: :loveya:

[progmom]

47. adults are ok - it's the klutzes you have to look out for

:hi:

[Not Me]

2. One thing that's very important is to match the sport to the kid...

Be aware of the child's disposition to contact sports/team vs. individual sports/endurance vs. spontaneous activity.

Keep it fun...but definitely introduce them and in the end, they will decide.

[imperialismispasse]

7. Agree with that.

I played team sports but had good buddies who liked stuff like running better, because it was just them against themselves and that's how they were challenged.

Yeah, if they play for a while and they hate it, of course I'm not going to make them keep playing. But introducing them, yeah I think I will do that.

[TK421]

4. It depends on what kind of parent you are. Will you teach your kid that

it's just a game and they're supposed to have fun, or do you push them to the limit and instill in them that winning is everything. Personally, I hate sports...it seems like kids can develop nasty attitudes depending on how they play, and nasty kids grow into nasty adults ( and we certainly don't need anymore of those )

[imperialismispasse]

13. Huh.

I think somewhere in between? I'm definitely not going to be a "hockey dad" that screams at their kid if they mess up. I do think pushing myself to win at sports was actually good for me. It never stopped being fun but it pushed me to see what my limits were and to do more than I thought I could do.

I'm not sure what you mean by nasty attitudes, but I don't think I have one and I wouldn't want my kid to have one either.

[TK421]

17. What I mean is that some people take competition too seriously

and sometimes forget that it's just a game. I know people who are quite hard on their kids if they lose. That is what I meant

[imperialismispasse]

18. Oh yeah.

I saw that too when I was playing sports as a kid. It could definitely get ugly sometimes with dads screaming at their kids when they messed up. I would never do that. And if they didn't like a specific sport (even if it's BASEBALL!) I wouldn't force them to keep playing either. I just want to introduce them when they're young and see if they take to it.

[Divameow77]

5. Alot of sports for younger kids

are not very competitive, especially with organizations like the YMCA, my son played soccer through the Y a few years ago when he was 5 and they didn't even keep score. IMO I think it's great to encourage your kids to play sports, but if they really aren't interested I wouldn't push them. The same goes for what they seem interested in, encourage that, even little boys that want to take gymnastics or dance ;-)

[imperialismispasse]

15. Definitely!

I have no problem with that. If my son wants to take dance that's fine. In fact I've known a few girls who probably could have kicked my butt who were dancers. Cheerleaders too. :)

[Divameow77]

20. You are much more understanding them my husband

I bet he would have a heart attack if one of our boys said "Daddy I want to be a tap dancer"

[imperialismispasse]

22. Ha ha!

Well I would probably have a second of double-take, but in the end I would hopefully remember that my kid is going to develop his own personality that's separate from mine.

(Of course all this might go out the window the first time I put a Phillies jersey on my infant son. Ha.)

[Shell Beau]

8. I don't think there is anything at all wrong with it.

If your kid wants to play something, then you should definitely encourage it. It helps kids learn to deal with losing, working with others to accomplish a goal, discipline, sportsmanship, and keeps them active. It is better than sitting in front of a TV all day. But it should always be said that winning isn't everything and that sports are just for fun.

[LastKnight]

9. if anything people need more physical activity.

god knows people in this nation arent fat enough. (as a whole)

yea, encourage sports, but make sure their having fun, if their not, dont push, just move to a different sport.

but make sure they have fun so they continue to do it after its no longer manditory.

[imperialismispasse]

21. Exactly, you couldn't have gotten me away from sports

when I was a kid. In fact, my parents used to complain about how much money the equipment cost and going to all the games. But they were really proud of me, I knew that. :)

[SmokingJacket]

10. I think it's fine, if they like it.

I think the trouble comes when they don't like it, but pressure from the parents (or peers, maybe) makes them feel like they have to. Kids on sports teams can be pretty awful to the kids who suck at it.

Every season I ask my sons, "So, do you want to sign up for soccer? Hockey? Tee-ball? Anything? Please?" But no. They just don't like competition, they say. But they're both physically active so I don't really care too much.

But I require music lessons. In fact, I think I'm going to start my own thread on this...

[NewJeffCT]

11. I think sports are generally good for kids

It teaches them teamwork & that you sometimes have to sacrifice your personal goals in order to do better...

That said, I don't think kids should be pushed into sports in order for them to become the next Tiger Woods or Todd Marinovich or whoever.

[Mizmoon]

12. My experience with my son

I felt that he should be encouraged to at least try a sport so we suffered through two seasons of little league. I hated it and so did he. The pushy parents who screamed at their kids from the sidelines made me want to puke. We were there to have fun but the others treated it like life or death. My son was only a mediocre player, and though they all got trophies, he knew he hadn't done much to earn one so it didn't mean much to him. Now he hates sports except for very loose "pick up" basketball, etc.

He did find his niche in an instrument. He even has a band that is a big hit in his school. It's all I can do to keep his scantily clad groupies in line when they come over to our house to "hear the boys practice". Music had it's advantages. :)

[underpants]

14. Sports is GREAT for kids

I would hold off on football until they were at least 13 or so but...

Sports teaches kids to work as a team, to achieve, to plan to achieve, to expect to achieve, to win with class, lose with dignity, expect the unexpected, that sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them, human error, how to make friends (my best friends and I met playing little league football-13 yrs. old-best men at each others weddings god parents the whole deal), and that exercise is something to do on a daily basis (as opposed to not considering it and just sitting around).

[imperialismispasse]

24. Same with me

I met some lifelong good friends playing sports and we were drawn closer together by going through close games, wins, and probably especially losses. In the end none of us went on to play in the major leagues or the NFL but I think we were all better people because of the experience anyway.

[bookman]

16. Moderation

Moderation is the key in almost anything. I'm a retired educator and I've seen the good and the bad. If the child has the interest and the time available (Not adversely effecting school work)organized sports are fine.

I'm also a big advocate of allowing kids to have some free time. If they join in a pick up game of something that would be fine also.

I see a lot of "programmed" kids these days. Well meaning parents over schedule them.

and..

Welcome to DU!

[imperialismispasse]

25. Thanks

Yeah I don't want to be one of those parents who has their kid in 50 different activities that they get dragged around to every day. They need free time too you're right.

[Orsino]

19. It's socialization, more than anything.

My mother-in-law made my wife go out for basketball back in the day, and made her stick with it for one whole season. My wife enjoyed some of it, but chose not to go back for more. She remembers it as a positve experience.

I think it's good for kids to be put into an environment where they have to play by rules and support a team effort. It's what they'll probably have to do as adults, after all. As long as parents monitor from a distance, the children will be strengthened rather than beaten down.

[justabob]

28. team sports

A story that may be relevant.....

I while back I worked waiting tables in a very busy restaurant. Like most places, a small group of the employees (about 10 of a staff of 70) seemed to do most of the work. One day an idea came to me and I started a very informal and unscientific survey, but it was interesting. I asked everyone I worked with if they played sports or similar activities. The ten people who pulled 90% of the work load in the restaurant played team sports growing up, almost to a man those who were the slackers played no sports or participated in any activities that required working with others. Granted this was just one establishment and a very small sample, but I thought it was kind of telling.

I think team sports and sports more generally are a good thing, but there are dangers as others have noted in this thread. As with most things, you get out of it what you put into it.

[imperialismispasse]

30. That's really interesting.

It doesn't surprise me. I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule like any other, but I would say in general team sports alum are at least capable of working well in a team environment. They might not always do it but they know how to anyway.

[mnmoderatedem]

23. is encouraging them bad, no

parents pushing them too hard and vicariously reliving their childhood throug their kids, yes. Too much of that goes on today.

[TransitJohn]

26. Here's the deal

Competitive activity *can* be a very good spring board to a healthy, positive self image. I say this as a veteran gangly kid. Look, at 33, I am still 6'4" and 160#, the same I was at 12 years old. As you can imagine, at 12 I was quite awkward. I always played basketball, and worked my ass off. You know what the result was? I always made the team, there were some kids who had more talent, but not the work ethic, and they would get cut. Now, I only got to start once or twice, and didn't get much PT, but I was on the team. And that is the most valuable lesson, what it means to be part of a team, working together, all of that. Now as a parent, I think it is important for all children to at least participate in a sport. My daughter is hopelessly, delightfully girly, no tomboy at all, so I chose golf...she loves it.

[imperialismispasse]

27. You were 6'4" at 12?

Wow.

Great story. I totally agree. I was lucky to be pretty good at most sports, but there were some I had to work at more than others and those were the ones I probably got the most out of, because I had to work at it so it meant more to me.

Hey, your daughter could make a ton of money playing golf. You could retire soon maybe, get that boat you've always wanted! :) j/k

[TransitJohn]

36. Yep.

I was, and it was rough...I grew 14 inches from 7th to 8th grade...drove my mom nuts...those new school pants were like 3 inches highwater by Thanksgiving...we didn't have much money...picture the dork. But hey, it all worked out in the end. ;)

[imperialismispasse]

37. Yeah.

Women like tall guys. I'm sure it worked out fine in the end. ;)

[Fleshdancer]

29. I think it depends on the child, the parents, and the coaches

I loved sports as a kid. I liked working hard to get better at something, I liked being part of a team, and I loved the competition. I learned how to win and how to lose and I like to think I'm a better person because of it. But that's just me.

Would I have played sports if I felt too pressured? At first I would, but I wouldn't have stuck with it. Would I have enjoyed it if my coaches were verbally abusive? No. I was always sensitive and shy and if I were handled too harshly, I know I wouldn't have liked playing. Fortunately my parents and coaches were supportive and encouraging early on. I didn't have to deal with the stereotypical asshole coach until I reached high school.

My daughter is only 5 right now so I don't know if she'll be interested in playing sports yet. I plan on doing what my parents did for me...take her to female college sporting events (I LOVED watching the Lady Longhorns play basketball when I was a girl) and enroll her in sport oriented summer camps later if she agrees to it.

[seaglass]

31. My husband started playing catch with my kids in the yard

when they were 4 and 5 yo's. We'd have friends over and they'd play whiffle ball in the street, attracting other kids in the neighborhood (and parents). These are great memories for all involved.

If you start when they are young they will likely learn to love it, it's time spent with you and of course it's practice for them (you should see how my daughter throws at 16!).

I really have never seen a kid that has turned down a dad's offer to go play catch when they were little but I suppose it happens.

If you pay attention to your kids, you will know if they don't like it. Do not make them play if they don't like it - it's no good for the kids or their teammates (believe me everyone else knows when a kid doesn't want to play).

[imperialismispasse]

33. That made me smile.

That's just like what I picture, playing catch with my kids. Seems like that's the memories you will have for a whole lifetime, even after your kids are grown and gone. Quality time, fresh air, and exercise, that's good for everybody.

[yardwork]

32. My son plays Pop Warner football

He loves it. He likes a lot of physical activity. This is his fourth year playing - he started when he was nine. Kids can start playing Pop Warner when they are seven.

The coaches are wonderful in our program. From what I've seen, the quality of the coaches vary from team to team. They are all volunteers. Choose a program that puts the health and well-being of the children first. Choose a program that stresses team work and good habits over winning. (They all want to win - it's just that some coaches have a healthier approach than others.)

Our older son played football for one year and then decided that he preferred to play soccer for his school. That was fine!

My sons play a lot of team sports because they like them. Other kids have different interests.

Pop Warner football is likely to include a lot of people who are fairly conservative, both politically and socially. I'm a Pagan Socialist. I get along with the other parents and the coaches just fine.

[imperialismispasse]

40. You don't wear your politics on your sleeve

Or your religion. I think that's totally right, in the context of your kid's sporting events. I wouldn't say I'm a Democrat any more than I would want the guy next to me to be spouting off about how much he loves Dubya. Talk about it some other time. We're there for the kids, right?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

34. If they're naturally inclined toward sports, fine

but I hate this American suburban mindset that says that every redblooded American kid HAS TO participate in sports, whether they like it or not.

Why do the sports have to be organized by adults and kept on a rigid schedule? My parents refused to let my brothers play organized sports because 1) They didn't want the coach determining their vacation schedule, and 2) Neither of them had any interest at all in team sports, and they did not want to have to spend any time watching them.

We got our exercise walking to school (a guaranteed 20-blocks worth of walking every day), riding our bikes, and playing traditional games, most of which involved a lot of running around.

I see no reason for kids that young to be organized into sports unless they show marked talent and/or interest. Otherwise, I think it's mostly massaging the egos of sports-crazed parents.

Kids would get more REAL exercise walking to school and playing outside than being carted around from one practice to another.

There are other ways to learn teamwork and responsibility and gain a sense of accomplishment, and one of the finest ways is one that is being cut back and neglected dreadfully in contemporary American culture: participation in the arts. Yes, playing in a band or orchestra, singing in a choir, or acting in or being on the crew of a play teach everything that sports are supposed to teach.

[Midlodemocrat]

35. I think sports, like any other activity, is fine for kids

if the kids are enjoying themselves.

My daughters play field hockey, my son plays lacrosse. If they weren't enjoying themselves, they wouldn't play.

I take that tact with all my kids' activities, music, art, whatever. I want them to try a lot of things on my dime and see what they like because that is where the desire to achieve comes in.

I am the least pushy parent I know, except when it comes to homework, that is a deal breaker. I want my kids to be well adjusted, happy and secure in who they are, and sports, right now, anyway is helping with that.

[MissMillie]

38. Welcome to D.U.

I think that if you were to take your kid outside and throw the ball around w/ them regularly, they will love spending the time w/ you, and they may even grow to love baseball.

I also think that if it turns out that they don't love baseball, that you will find other way to encourage activity--not just during baseball season, but year-round.

[imperialismispasse]

39. Thanks

And I agree with all of that. Mainly I want to spend time with my kid, and I want him/her to grow up to be his/her own person, even if that person is different from me. And I do think getting some physical activity in general is important.

[WeRQ4U]

41. introducing children to sports is your JOB as a parent.

If they don't like it, then it's your JOB to introduce them to something else to do. PS2 and cable are NOT activities.

Children won't always volunteer their own time for extra-cirricular activities. Many children would just as soon sit on their butts and watch TV. You, as a parent, SHOULD introduce them to athletics, music, or whatever. My parents made sure that I was always doing SOMETHING. I was not allowed to just loiter when I was growing up. In the summer I had baseball, swimming and athletic camps. In fall, I had football or cross country (it was up to me). In the winter I had basketball. In the spring I had track and field. And here's the key: My parents attended EVERY SINGLE GAME OR EVENT... EVERY ONE. The were not assholes in the stands (loud sometimes, but not abusive). They were just as committed as I was. They felt it was their responsibility.

I was also required to be in band, jazz band and marching/pep band. I also took piano lessons for 11 years.

I was in Boy Scouts until I completed Eagle Scout too.

I am who I am today becasue my parents required these things of me. I got confidence from the activities that I was good at. I got real-world dissapointment and adaptive skills from the sports I was NOT good at.

Either way, I made valuable, life-long connections and friendships with the players and coaches. I gained appreciation of the arts through music.

I know that this was MY experience and that other's would be different, but I will do the same for my son and any other future children I may have. Sorry this was so long.

[imperialismispasse]

42. Wow.

Great post. I agree with most everything in it. I do agree with someone up above who said that you shouldn't over schedule your kids but I also agree with you that activities like sports, music and boy/girl scouts is generally really good for kids. Thanks for telling your story, I had a similar childhood and I think I'm a better person because of it.

[WeRQ4U]

44. Thanks. My idea of "over scheduling" is probably different though.

My schedule was as busy as it gets, but it was just that......busy.

I wasn't overscheduled. I had time for a girlfriend, friends, camping, "hanging out" etc.

You know?

[flvegan]

43. I don't think it's bad to encourage kids to do anything

so long as it's a positive activity, and done in a positive way. If it's baseball or football, great. If it's piano or ballet, great. If it's football and ballet, even better. That kid would be cool.

[WeRQ4U]

45. Herschel Walker was in the Texas ballet.

He says that it was crucial to his success as an athlete.

[imperialismispasse]

46. Flexibility, strength, changeup quickness

You can see it the way he ran the football. Makes sense.

[Patiod]

48. I was always the worst on any team, but got something out of it

It helps that I'm a girl, and expectations weren't high -- if a girl is lousy at track or softball, what are they going to do, say you throw like a girl? Don't be a wuss? There's so much going on among guys on a team - domination, intra-team competition, defining yourself as a boy/man, etc. On a team of girls, for most of them, it's about fun -- way less complicated stuff going on at a psycho-social level.

The one thing I got out of track was the sheer endorphin high of a tough workout- a good lesson for when you're older and depressed - encourages you to go to the gym vs. the bar!

OT: We were sitting at a Phillies game recently (nice logo, Imperialismispasse) speculating recently about why women are more into baseball and basketball, and less into football. I think one contributor is that we've played baseball (softball) and basketball, and not football.

[imperialismispasse]

52. That makes sense.

My GF does like football, but it's definitely rarer than a girl who likes baseball or basketball. It might also be that in baseball and basketball you can see the player's bodies a little better. :)

How do you like the new stadium? I've been down a bunch of times this season and I think it's a pretty nice place to see a game, although it's kind of a joke in terms of hitting home runs (too easy).

[Patiod]

59. We have partial season tickets

Our seats are up behind third base, and we get a nice breeze even on the hottest days. Been a good season.

But who cares about the stadium, finally we have a team with TWO hotties for the female fans!

[imperialismispasse]

60. let me guess-Chase Utley and Bobby A?

I love Utley-that kid is coming up. He looks like he enjoys the hell out of playing.

[Patiod]

65. Utley & Burrell

Utley and Rollins both look like they really enjoy playing the game (Rollins a little more so last season)

If they trade Utley for a big name, they will devastate a lot of female fans -- I went to buy an Utley t-shirt, and they were sold out. The lady said they fly off the shelves the minute they re-stock.

[imperialismispasse]

67. My GF is a big fan of his too

He has a great attitude and I think he's the future of the team. Which of course means they will trade him for some has-been with a big name. Those stupid Phillies will always break my heart in the end.

[AngryAmish]

49. Yes

One has to play sports. It teaches one how to deal with losing and injuries.

[Bridget Burke]

50. Not at all.

Everyone needs to get some exercise & it should start young.

But not everybody is cut out for competitive sports. Let them try out. Encourage them, but don't get bent out of shape if they prefer something else. Encourage them in art, music or science instead.

Just a thought: There are adult athletic groups, formal or informal. Houston is rife with football (soccer) teams for all ages. The cliche Bad Sports Parent sits in the stands, gains weight & yells at the coach or the other team--in an effort to relive his youth. Maybe your (hypothetical) kids will encourage YOU!

[imperialismispasse]

53. I agree.

I don't want to be a fat dad. I want to keep up with my kids. I'm in pretty good shape now and I plan on keeping it that way.

[Akoto]

51. In my opinion ...

It's perfectly fine to encourage your kids to play sports, IF they are interested in them. I was never interested in athletics when I was a child. I liked to read and do other indoors-type things. There's nothing wrong with that, though.

I think you should watch your kids as they grow and encourage them in whatever they enjoy doing, so long as it's healthy. :)

[skygazer]

54. No, I don't think it's bad for kids

However, I think a good balance needs to be maintained. I found myself disillusioned as a kid because my father had a "win at all costs" mentality (I showed horses).

My attitude was more that I was doing something fun, that I enjoyed, with other like minded people. My sense of competition was not so much to "beat the other guy" as it was to exceed my own personal best. I really feel strongly that mine is a healthier attitude.

A kid's self esteem is largely formed by their parents attitudes. My father projected the attitude that I was some sort of loser if I did not place in the top three of every class. I was finally completely disgusted when, after placing fifth in a challenging class with at least 25 other competitors, he greeted me with, "if you practice more, you'll win next time." Frankly, I felt like a winner already until he said that.

It is unrealistic to expect a win every time - striving to win is not bad but a better context is to strive to improve your own performance. In that way, you can feel positive about your performance even if you do not "win" the game.

[imperialismispasse]

58. Exactly, personal best.

I agree with that. Even though I played team sports I was always looking to play the best that I could play. If I did that I wasn't upset with myself even if we lost. Like I could still be upset about losing but I wasn't mad at myself and I didn't feel like a loser.

Sorry your dad was like that.

[skygazer]

62. He's a lifelong Repuke

What can you expect? :hi:

[nickgutierrez]

55. Dead right

I don't think it's so much whether or not a kid is good at them that ends up demoralizing - it's whether or not the kid has fun. I grew up around Little League Baseball, whether it's as a player or later as an assistant coach with my dad. At times it seemed like the kids having the most fun were the ones that weren't the most talented players, and I think a lot of that has to do with the parents - the best players often had the most hard-driving parents, and those kids were the ones that really looked like they were having the least amount of fun out there.

Some parents (hell, some coaches too) take the game too seriously, and threaten to ruin the fun for everybody. What they need to remember is that these are kids, playing a kids game first and foremost.

[soleft]

56. I love sports - my son does not

Fortunately, he likes to walk so he gets his exercise that way.

He just never showed any aptitude for it at all, I guess he takes after his father's side of the family.

He did one year of tee ball, and he did one year of soccer because I volunteered to coach (complete and utter nightmare for me because of insane parents).

And he did a few years of taekwondo, also mostly because I was doing it too.

Some of my interests he's very into - like movies and politics - but he ended up cultivating his own interests like web design and he plays guitar in a band.

There was really no choice here for me because it was just totally clear he was not into it. I do encourage him to stay active, I think it would be great if he took up biking, or even running.

And I love, love, love sports. I would have loved it if he was too, but that's just the way it is. Occasionally I can get him to play catch with me but that's just to help me get ready for a game.

[imperialismispasse]

61. Just goes to show

kids are their own people not duplicates of us. You sound like I think I will be, you're not mad at your son and you don't push him but inside you're a little disappointed that he doesn't share that interest with you. I think I'll be the same but that's not the same thing as being disappointed IN YOUR kid.

[soleft]

73. my sister and her kids are another story

Just got off the phone with my sister, her daughter, who's a junior in HS did not get bumped to Varsity on the field hockey team.

My sister and her husband are both athletic and have always encouraged their kids to do sports - and sometimes I wonder if they push too much. My niece also plays the piano and loves to sing, and tho she is a good athlete, I've always wondered if her heart wasn't 100% into. I know my sister would love it if both kids were able to get athletic scholarships, a lot of that has to do with the fact if they could they could perhaps go to a better school and get a better education.

But now my sister is spitting mad at the hockey coach and says my niece might quit the team. I told her, when I was in HS a similar thing happened to me, and I quit, and I've always regretted it. But she's put so much money into equipment and camps that she feels betrayed by this coach, my sister, not my niece.

It would be nice if kids could do sports without so much drama amongst the adults.

Anyway, sounds like you will do great with your kids. Good luck!

[SoCalDem]

57. Three sons here, One jock..two not.

Let the KIDS decide, and if they want to bail mid-season, make them FINISH the season, and THEN drop out..

NEVER want it more than THEY do..

:)

[Kathleen04]

63. I think it's a good thing

As a kid, my parents didn't make me do ANY activities. No sports..no girl scouts, or anything else. I would start music lessons at my own wish and quit when I felt time-crunched. And, it's kind of ironic that I felt time crunched because aside from homework, I had *no* after-school obligations whatsoever.

I think that learning sports can BUILD confidence..not tear it down. You don't have to be good at them, but there's just something about understanding the rules and trying your best that builds confidence, IMO. I had so little familiarity with sports in my childhood that when it came time for mandatory PE in middle school, I barely understood the rules, so I couldn't enjoy the games..

Sports still has little impact in my life, but sometimes I think that they could have been fun for me.

I have seen the other extreme though, I know a family whose kids do EVERYTHING..hockey, soccer, boyscouts, music lessons, and on and on..and that just becomes too stressful for the whole family. There needs to be a balance..

[imperialismispasse]

64. I agree it's a fine line.

Also about "pushing" your kids, that can be a fine line too. I know when I was a younger kid I wasn't really able to motivate myself to follow through on things. I had a short attention span and I got bored easily. But when my parents encouraged me (not what I would call "Pushing") I ended up being glad. If I had been alone in it I probably would have dropped out of things when they got too hard, which is a bad lesson to learn for later in life.

[Kathleen04]

69. Yeah

I kind of wish that my parents had "made" me continue my music lessons when I was a kid, but I can always try to pick it back up again, which is probably what I'll do a little further down the line..

I would at least expose your kids to the rules of different games..teach them to play, then let them try to see if they like it, and see if they have any interest in joining a team..

[SOteric]

66. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing in and of itself.

Certainly, there are folks who take it to an ugly extreme on either end.

Personally, I never cared much for team sports, but I excelled at individual athletic pursuits; marathons, rock and mountain climbing, horsemanship, skiing and snowboarding are activities I enjoy to this day.

I'm sure you'll do fine, just remember to emphasise sportsmanship, fair play, and fun; and as has already been said, don't push the unwilling.

P.S. - Welcome to DU! :hi:

[Catchawave]

68. I introduced my kids to basic classes in everything !

From music, dance, gymnastics, swimming, running, theater arts, artsy arts, culinary arts, book clubs, soccer, lacrosse, figure skating, hockey (field and ice), sailing, windsurfing, volleyball, animal shelter volunteer, YMCA day camp volunteer...until they found their passion, which is easily recognized by virtue "that's what they'd rather be doing than slug on the coach" !

It's sounds like your passion is baseball and football, and I think the only two sports never tried in the Catch household! One was too passive, the other too rough !

BUT, of the sports I listed above, the only one my kids made money off of was swimming, as they became lifeguards in high school and college :hi:

[imperialismispasse]

71. Wow.

Sounds like great childhoods for your kids! You seem like you did a really great job with them and they ended up happy. I like what you said about culinary stuff too-I am glad my mom made me learn how to cook at least a little. I'm no chef but I can feed myself better than hot pockets anyway.

[leftofthedial]

70. hell no!

I think it is great for kids

IF

the rabid competitiveness is kept in check--it really IS how you play the game that matters

the parents are not living vicariously through their kids

the kid enjoys it

[Threedifferentones]

72. There is a line between

encouraging and supporting them and doing what I would call "competeing through your children." I guess the difference really is between trying to get your kids to play and trying to get them to win; if seeing them playing and knowing they're staying fit is what's important to you, then great. But if seeing them win is what is really important to you, and they know it, then they could get the impression that "winning" is what makes their parents happy, and that they have to win in order to earn their parents' love and respect.