Tom Cruise was Shakespeare

[bpcmxr]

Completely insane, yes, but is this a joke? Discuss.

http://toronto.fashion-monitor.com/news.php/Celebrity_Style/2005082202tom_cruise

<snip>

Tom Cruise noted that he is "old beyond reckoning." What's more, his current life is "probably one of the least satisfying" he has led.

"I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents, and developed cures for diseases," said Tom Cruise.

Cruise said he became aware that he "had been here before," when he read the complete works of Shakespeare in a month, despite being dyslexic, not long after dropping out of high school.

"Shakespeare was deja vu for me," said Tom Cruise. "It was so cool. I felt as if I had seen his words already, knew them all by heart. Then, after I began studying scientology, I realized the words had come from my heart in a previous life. That's why I say that as glorious and enviable as my present life is, making "War of the Worlds" and all those other great movies can't compare to writing "Romeo and Juliet" or the sonnets.

<snip>

[xultar]

1. Wasn't Shakespeare gay?

[Gildor Inglorion]

5. I really think nobody knows...it was certainly "fashionable" to be gay

during the reign of James I, who most assuredly and unabashedly was. Maybe Shakespeare was just reflecting the mood of the times. But I don't think he was Tom Cruise, for some reason.

[TimeChaser]

9. Bisexual, atleast

[xultar]

10. Welp! Thar ya go! I have no problems with TC thinging he's WS.

[skygazer]

2. That boy just gets stranger

I don't understand why all these people who claim to have led previous lives are always someone famous in those lives. They're always Shakespeare or Mata Hari or Jesus or something. They're never Jed Norton from Bumfuck, Ohio. :shrug:

[trackfan]

12. Yeah, I've noted that too.

And nobody ever claims to have been some evil person, or jerk. It's always very self-flattering.

[H5N1]

3. "as glorious and enviable as my life is"

That boy is fucked up

[Bob3]

4. Get the net - the big one

It's time to put Tom in a room somewhere and let him rest.

[eleonora]

6. the EGO that boy has

I don't envy you, Tom....you're kind of fucked up around the edges.

[TlalocW]

7. In a past life, I was Mozart

I realize this because when I remembered hearing the main theme of "Marriage of Figaro," it was incredibly familiar to me, even more deja vu than deja vu. It was then I knew I was Mozart reincarnated.

What I have never been able to understand is why the music also brings forth images of Bugs Bunny and other Warner Brother cartoon characters running around, beating each other up in time to the music.

It's a mystery that not even Scientology can solve.

TlalocW

[trogdor]

8. He was a high school English teacher.

How come everybody who believes in reincarnation thinks they used to be someone famous? That's bullshit.

[xultar]

11. I think he was more than likely like the Brad Pit character in 12 monkeys

seems to be very close to what he is now.

[tjdee]

13. Oh...crazy Tom.

I still love your movies, you nut!

[Misunderestimator]

14. I was Helen of Troy.

And before that, I was God. :eyes:

[Avalux]

15. Can't....stop....laughing.....

That's the most hilarious thing I've ever read!

"I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents, and developed cures for diseases," said Tom Cruise.

He's clearly delusional, poor man. :rofl: :spray: