Adam Corolla--New Levels of Suck.

[Bouncy Ball]

You know that physicist who just decided one day that he could find super novae on demand in order to find out whether the universe was expanding or contracting?

All the astronomers laughed and laughed. They said "can't be done. You'd have to bring astronomy to a WHOLE new level to do that."

He did it.

Well, Adam Corolla has proven to *me* that I only THOUGHT the world knew the deepest reaches of suck. I mean come on, Britney Spears? Jessica Simpson? These are stars? Ok.

I'd be a shitty TV reviewer since all I watch is The Daily Show and Whatever Comes On After That (because I get too lazy to turn it off).

But damn. Someone shoot this show and put it out of its misery. Who told Corolla he's funny?

In all fairness, I've laughed out loud exactly once. And it wasn't at Corolla. The other night he was doing his usual "these are my pet peeves" very unfunny shit. The audience had maybe two or three kind souls laughing very, very softly. Then--there was this woman's laugh. Kind of high-pitched and nasally. She honestly sounded as if she were in pain. And Corolla was doing that thing he does where he makes a joke, then proceeds to beat the SHIT out of his own joke by re-wording it into another analogy over and over again, maybe hoping that the audience will finally laugh so hard they wet their britches this time. It never happens.

However, this woman literally sounded as if she were trying hard to make herself laugh. I imagined it was Corolla's mother out there thinking "LAUGH, dammit, laugh HARDER, laugh LONGER, that's your BOY up there! He's DYING!"

Finally, her tortured, choking laughter, which got more maniacal with every fucky analogy of his caused ME to laugh.

I wondered in that odd moment: is he so bad he's GOOD?

No, I decided. That woman just has a seriously funny laugh.

I googled his name. There's a Yahoo group of fans of his. 41 members. They posted 10 messages back in 2002.

I found an article about him on Entertainment Weekly. Oh wait, no the article isn't there anymore.

I've decided anyone can have a TV show. Here's how he looks pretty much all the time:



Oh and jokes about Ethiopia? Yeah, lots of people find famine, drought, and starvation hilarious topics! Heeeeeee.

Thus ends the most I'll ever say about this very sucky non-funny guy.

And hello lounge. Behaving yourselves?

[progmom]

1. it's YOU!!!!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3906280&mesg_id=3906280

:loveya:

[Bouncy Ball]

3. It's YOU!!!!

I replied to your sweet thread, you sweetie.

:loveya:

[progmom]

5. you've been missed

:hi:

[kick-ass-bob]

2. Who?

I think I'm glad I've never heard of him.

Behaving? Just check page 2 of the lounge - that should answer your question.

:D

:hi:

[peekaloo]

4. I think Donny Osmond mated with a horse and Adam is their baby.

shallow assessment but it's all I got on this loser.

[Bouncy Ball]

7. OMG that made me laugh HARD.

For real.

Shit.

[xultar]

33. Hummmm I think you're on to something!

[silvermachine]

42. Ahhhh, it all becomes clear now....

...I always wondered what that song "Crazy Horses" was about....

<<Crazy horses all got riders, and they're you and I
Crazy horses
Never stop and they never die
They just keep on puffin' how they multiply
Crazy horses, will they never halt?
If they keep on movin' then it's all our fault>>

[redqueen]

6. Yeah... no.

There's no way I leave my TV on Comedy Central for even a millisecond after TDS is over. Seems they always put the worst shows there, for obvious reasons.

[Bouncy Ball]

8. Didn't it used to be that awful guy who would have

guests on and he'd sit there and berate everyone? God, who was that?

Now this is going to bug me. I mean he was AWFUL. He'd have African-Americans on and say racist things. He had this scratchy awful voice...

[bicentennial_baby]

9. Colin Quinn

:puke:

but so good to see you! :hi:

[Bouncy Ball]

10. THAT'S his name!

Oh GOD he sucked. In fact, I'm hard-pressed to say who sucks more: Quinn or Corolla. Where the hell do they dig up these guys?

Quinn was just hateful and not funny.

Corolla is just....stupid and not funny.

Comedy Central can and has done better than that.

Hey good to see you too!!! :hi:

[redqueen]

14. Quinn was better because he couldn't talk...

he'd stutter and stammer and get all pissed off...

Hahah to be honest I loved that! :D

[Midnight Rambler]

12. Colin Quinn?

[DS1]

11. He's unintentionally unfunny Tony Clifton

shit, I think that right there is my best analogy this year.

[Bouncy Ball]

13. Now you need to make that analogy

but with different terms, about four more times.

If people don't laugh, just demand that they "give it up." He did that last night and they engaged in a few seconds of polite applause.

Who is Tony Clifton?

[DS1]

15. Tony Clifton?

Greatest Comedian of all time! A STAR! AN ENTERTAINER!

( he was Andy Kaufman in a costume, who had the most grinding, nasal voice ever, and did nothing but insult the crowd ) Check out "Man on the Moon" movie.

[Bouncy Ball]

16. Ah, nevermind.

I gotcha now.

I thought you might have been referring to the guy on "The Young Ones" who would show up every now and then in a fez or dressed as Mussolini and give a short bit of stand-up.

[DS1]

18. Alexi Sayle

Or Jertsi Bilosxi -

[Bouncy Ball]

19. Making me want to watch "The Young Ones" now. eom

[silvermachine]

43. He was hilarious...

...although Rick (Rik Mayall) was my favorite charcater on the show. Imagine my shock when during a recent library sale, I chanced upon a book with the actual title of "Neill! Neil! Orange Peel: a Personal View of Ninety Years" by Neill, A. S. 1972, A personal view of 90 years by the founder of Summerhill School. (from abebooks.com)

[DS1]

52. I have a copy of the Young Ones book

It's got some excellent Neil poetry, and an essay of the "Power" that is hitchhiking, also written by Neil.

[terrya]

17. He sucked on "The Man Show" I can imagine how much...

he sucks on his own. :puke:

[Bouncy Ball]

20. He doesn't suck.

He suckity-suck-sucks.

Let's do a pool on how long his show lasts. Even his facial expressions scream "I'M DYING UP HERE."

[underpants]

21. He grew up across the street from Molly Ringwald

I saw her interview her on some show and they were talking about hwo they lived across the street from each other. At first I thought "What a coincidence" then it hit me-connections (through her or his family)

That explained yet another celebrity mystery to me.

[Bouncy Ball]

24. I KNEW it!

I knew he was either fucking someone or had some serious connections and this show was a favor to him.

[DS1]

22. He sucks on everything. He just sucks, he is a black hole of talent

he makes talented people around him suck. I hate his fucking guts.

[sybylla]

25. Stop holding back, man

That's not good for you. Tell us how you really feel. :rofl:

Truthfully, I feel the exact same way. I tried to watch parts of two different shows and just couldn't make myself stay for more than about 10 minutes. He is definitely a black hole of talent.

[Bouncy Ball]

26. Black hole.

Nice joining of my weak astronomy analogy at the beginning of my post.

:hi:

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

28. So you're saying his show could be better...

and you're going to give it a chance and judge him on his merits.

Did I read you correctly on that one?

[henslee]

23. Thank you for this most. The man is unfunny, unappealing, untalented...

un everything.

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

27. Corolla's a pig, just like his buddie kimmel

oh sure, they act like they're doing some clever satire of machismo, but they're just living out their frat boy fantasies on tv and becoming the heroes of date rapists everywhere

i look forward to seeing this show crash and burn

and i thought steven colbert was getting the slot after the daily show-what happened to that?

[Kathleen04]

29. I agree

This show is super lame. You can almost hear crickets chirping after every "joke" he tells.

[Borgnine]

30. Comedy Central has the worst crop of talent.

No, no. I'm not talking about The Daily Show crew, Reno 911!, Chappelle, or even Stella. They just seem to keep drawing from the same no-talent bunch of worthless comedians, whether it be with specials, as panelists on shows, or outright given programs of their own. Adam Corolla is one of them.

[terrya]

32. Half the stuff on Comedy Central is that Blue Collar Comedy crap.

And Larry the Cable Guy just isn't that damn funny, IMO.

[tonekat]

31. Glad to see others feel this way

Just another lame comedian wanna-be, more stupid than funny. Quinn sucked and he's history, let's hope this guy's 15 minutes are up soon.

[ucmike]

34. i actually like adam, but that show stinks

i think he understands what's funny, but he can't really express it on comedy central. i'd bet he did the show cause he couldn't pass up the money, knowing it wouldn't last too long.

i beleive that adam was a carpenter and met jimmy kimmel while he was working on jimmy's house. they clicked and it went on from there.

[NoPasaran]

35. When Adam met Jimmy

That sounds more like the setup for a gay porn movie, not the basis of a career in show business.

[RaulGroom]

51. He's one of the funniest guys alive for my money

But his show is crappy. Loveline is the best format for him. I could listen to him on Loveline basically indefinitely. I've had to pull over from listening to that show.

[Divameow77]

36. Didn't Adam have that show on MTV

with Dr. Drew, it was a radio show that played on TV, help me out someone I can't remember the name, it was a long time ago.

[Divameow77]

41. Nevermind

the show was called "Love Line", it just came to me.

[Terran]

37. Correct.

I watched the first show and the audience was actually silent for long moments at a spot where Adam clearly expected laughter. It was the most hideous thing I've ever witnessed on TV. I guess I never realized he wasn't funny. Jimmy Kimmel was clearly carrying The Man Show all along and Adam was along for the ride.

[Bouncy Ball]

45. Exactly what I thought the first time I watched

Corolla's crap show. I thought "well I guess I know who was the funny one on The Man Show now."

[Initech]

38. Adam Corolla's show is absolutely horrible

If Comedy Central had any commmon sense, they would have pulled his ass off the air by now.

Man, that show is NOT FUNNY!

[WCGreen]

39. what happened to that british gay guy from last year....

He was funny....

I remember last year waking up from a two week semi comatose state in hospital and wanting to watch the Daily show....

I think they replaced it with this show..... And he did interviews and pushed the sexual stuff right up to the edge....

I thought that was hilareous...

Of course at the time I was hopped up on Morphine and adavan...

So what the fuck do I know....

I thought the nurses were stealing my morphine and selling it ti mexicans on the black market ......

[Bouncy Ball]

44. Graham Norton, maybe?

He's good.

[WCGreen]

46. That's it....

I was so confused I didn't know what happened to the Daily Show and then this guy is on and I was like what's up....

I was so out of it I couldn't tell if what I was watching was real or a figment of my imagiation....

that god I did a fair share of Hallucinogens in the 70's to recognize what was happening....

[maveric]

40. I watched it twice, thinking it would improve the 2nd time.

And it was worse. Carrolla's slow, dry delivery just doesnt cut through the dead air surrounding him. His jokes are lame and the phone callers are less than amusing.
I cant wait till they cancel this dog and show the night before's TDS rerun again.

[Hobarticus]

47. Comedy Central's filling that hole left by Chapelle with anything they

can find.

I say, re-runs of 'Reno' would fit the bill nicely.

[WeRQ4U]

48. I don't mind Corolla, but this show is STANG-KAY!

I was embarrassed FOR him last night. No one was laughing. It's just not funny even IF you're a back sleeper.

[bridgit]

49. agreed, and while he doesn't do that idiot...

'man show thing', i somehow feel the same way about: carson daly :shrug: but corolla is forced animal house and it is not pleasant to witness imo

[LeftyDarthBrodie]

50. Thanks to Sundance Channel and Al Franken

I haven't seen a second of this show. Has anyone ever found Corolla or Jimmy Kimmel funny?

[jpgray]

53. Like Colin Quinn, his delivery is horrible

He has no rapport with the audience at all.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

54. This is a most worthy 'return to the board' post.

[sakabatou]

55. I like him better of Love Lines

with Dr. Lipinski.