My ten-second salesman visit.

[Chichiri]

*A knock on the apartment door. Chichiri, lost in DU-land, answers the door. A guy is standing there in tattered clothes holding a spray bottle of something called BLAZE*

Him: "How you doin, man, I'm just goin around showing people this cleaning solution called BLAZE. You got an old pair of white tennis shoes laying around?"

Me: "No."

Him: "Can you show me that carpet stain?" *points*

Me: "No."

Him: "Eh, you probably couldn't afford it."

Me (to his receding back): "Have a good night."

*Salesman ignores me, just walks around the corner to the stairway, and up to the upper levels, where he's probably insulting people up there as I speak.*

[Dave Reynolds]

1. Hope he's not on commission,

his sales technique needs a little polish.

[youthere]

2. Damn Chichiri...you must be made of steel...

How did you ever resist a canny sales pitch like that?

[ComerPerro]

3. Wait! Wait! I can afford it! I have money! Please let me buy it!

Please! Wait! Come back! Come back!

PLEASE!!!!!!!!

[skygazer]

4. Knock knock... "Burglar"

Woman peering through crack: "What?"

Man: "Burglar, madam."

Woman: "If I let you in, you'll try to sell me encyclopedias."

Man: "No, madam, I assure you I only want to come in and pilfer a few things."

Woman: "Promise you won't sell me encyclopedias?"

Man: "I only want to burgle your flat."

Woman (opening door): "Well, all right then."

Man (inside flat): "Mind you, have you given any thought to how much you could gain from a good set of encyclopedias?"

<Monty Python, paraphrased from memory>