OK, Sirius' coughing and gagging is getting heart wrenching.

[DemoTex]

The latest chemo is not working and the lung cancer is taking over. He does not show signs of pain and, other than this coughing and gagging, is doing OK. We are scheduled back at the oncology clinic for x-rays and another $1000 ifosfamide treatment on 9/6. At what point do I call it quits? We are six months from when they gave him 4-8 weeks to live. While those extra six months have been great, they have come at a very high cost (near $10,000 now). That's OK, I have the money.
I know what the x-rays will show on 9/6 (spreading lung cancer), and I know that we will end the ifosfamide chemotherapy. What I don't know, is when should we have the dear, sweet dog put out of his misery. I don't know that he is in misery. There are no symptoms of pain. He is bright and alert (but not really active).
I also know that I will hang on to him until the last minute, because I love him so. I'll be doing it for me, not him. Poor, dear boy .. I love him too much for his own good.

Mac


Sweet Sirius

[progmom]

1. oh, man....you are breaking my heart.

:hug:

It might be time. It sounds like you're coming to that conclusion too.


:grouphug:

[Sannum]

2. My experience is that they will let you know when it is time.

I can't even explain, but animals are very wise when it comes to these things.

:hug:

I am so sorry that you have to go through this.

[havocmom]

7. Yes, the sweet pup will let you know when he is ready to shed his body

and move comfortably as spirit.

Oh, Mac, wish this was easier. But the lad will tell you and you will understand him when time comes.

And know we are all here for you. Did you get that book? It is a help, it really is.

Sweet pup that he is, you have to make sure he understands your heart and that you will miss him but you will be OK and he can go when he is tired of the struggle. Sometimes, they need to hear your heart before they can relax out of the fight. Some of them will stay in longer than is really good for them because they love us that much. Let him know you will be OK and you will never stop loving him. Know he will be the same.

[mike_c]

3. soon, my friend, very soon....

I'm so very sorry, but you seem to know it too. Please, for both of your sakes, don't hang on until you're left with truely gruesome memories of his last days. You've been a wonderful friend to him-- don't let him down now. :hug:

[DemoTex]

6. Thanks Mike

Good advice. Tears well, but good advice.

[Thtwudbeme]

4. Scout and Stinky the Wonder Cat send their best wishes

That decision is the roughest part about being a good pet owner...I have been lucky enough to have a couple of my furry family members die in their sleep at home....

I hate it, and hate it for you.

Sirius knows you love him-

Stephanie and Michael

[DemoTex]

8. Thanks dear friends

At least I got a great six month extension on his sweet, sweet life.

[BrklynLiberal]

5. I believe that one day you will look into his eyes, and he will tell you

that he is ready to go. His demeanor will let you know that he no longer has that joy and enthusiasm that you usually see in him.

If he is still bright and alert and showng no signs of pain, then you are doing ok. Your love for him will tell you when to let go.

My only caveat...make sure to look into his eyes honestly. It will be very difficult to look back and know that you hung on too long for your own selfish reasons.

He is a wonderful looking pup...and you are both so very lucky to have shared such a wonderful love for so long.

:hug:

[SoCalDem]

9. That's so sad..I know how hard you have tried for him

But once the march starts, it never lets up.. If you need to help him, and he's a proud dog, do it before he's totally incapacitated..

We waited too long for our Tasha (Lab), and finally, she could not stand, and had to be carried. She had the most indignant look on her face when our son had to pick her up and carry her to the vets..

The actual event was peaceful and easy.. We sa on the floor with her..her head in my son's lap.. we kissed her and spoke to her, she wagged her tail one last time, and just sighed..and that was it..

You will know when it's time..

The coughing could also be from congestive heart failure..Sometimes they can aspirate fluids from the pericardium and make him more comfy..:hug:

[DemoTex]

11. He is a wonderful dog and I owe it to him.

I just don't know WHEN! I'll talk to the oncologist tomorrow. She loves him too, and she wants to be the one to put him under, when it comes to that. She is a wonderful person, in every way.

Mac

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. Demo, every time I look into your sweet baby's eyes, my heart hurts

all over again. It is not fair that those who love and trust us most are with us for such a short time. I too believe that you will know when Sirius is ready to go...until then, love him up and store tender memories. :cry: Please give Sirius a hug from MrsGrumpy. He has been on my mind so much. :hug:

[DemoTex]

13. I will .. I will.

He is way too sweet for his own good. And WAY too sweet for my good. I love this dog way too much. Thank goodness I have Nick-Nick.


Slick Nick-Nick

[Spinzonner]

12. When you think you are prolonging his death instead of his life

it is time.

The vet should be able to give you some insight on this point, but you will have decide when that occurs.

[DemoTex]

15. She has, and thank you.

I will talk to her again tomorrow.


Sirius

[Redneck Socialist]

14. Are you a Bill Morrissey fan?

If not check out "These Cold Fingers" off of his "Standing Eight" CD. It is about a man and his dog. Utterly heart breaking. Your post made me think of that song.

It's been years since I've had a dog, but your post touched a nerve and you have my sympathy.

"The dog can't move no more
Surprised he made it to the spring
His pain won't go away
And the pills don't do a thing
You've know that old hound longer
Than you've known any of your
friends
And no matter how you let him down
He'd always take you back again..."

[Justitia]

16. He is beautiful. I'm so sorry you are going thru this.

I dread the day when my girl goes thru it.

When the time comes, I have heard of some vets that will come to your home, if you want that. I thought that was a nice idea, to let them go in their familiar surroundings, versus a stress-filled unfamiliar environment of a clinic.

Anyway, I am so sorry your beautiful pup is sick.
My heart is very heavy for you. :hug:

[salin]

17. my heart goes out to you

Sirius began having problems before our Hope was diagnosed with an agressive form of lymphoma in April... and sadly while we thought we had several more months with Hope - we only had a couple of more weeks. I envy your time with Sirius. Though in an odd way - reading of Sirius - and giving advice (be present, intentionally, and enjoy each moment) - raised my awareness and intentional "being with Hope" in those final weeks. I think they were richer as a result. I know these words do nothing to lessen the pain - but do know that in a way you gave a gift of awareness that enrichened the time for myself, and Hope, in her last days.

My best to you and to Sirius :hug:

[AussieDave]

18. I'm so sorry about Sirius - you'll know when the time has come

- it may feel like you've let him go too soon but that's better than too late. He'll go peacefully, knowing you're with him.

My parents' Scottish Terrier has lymphoma, so they'll be facing the same decision in the coming months - it's never easy, but the cost of having a dearly loved pet and companion.

All the best to you and Sirius and Nick-Nick.

[DELUSIONAL]

19. I've always believed that they will tell us when the pain

or the effort is too much.

There is a look in their eyes.

I'm so glad you've had this time with your sweet doggie.

You'll know in your heart -- because he will tell you.

[youthere]

20. That is so sad...

what a horrible ordeal for both of you. :hug:

[henslee]

21. I know what you're going through. When my guy was going though what

your guy was going through...I took him to all his favorite places, wherever we used to live, the dog park, the pet shop, the drive thru burger placel, lots of car rides, friends houses. Man, he had a blast.
You can feel good that you are doing all you can do.

[Flaxbee]

22. let his body go... you don't ever have to let go of his spirit

he's done his best for you - an additional 6 months - but it sounds like he can't hang on much longer. Perhaps he knows you've come to some sort of peace with his death, too. It's your responsibility to let him die with some peace and dignity, no matter how hard it is for you. He has depended on you for kindness, compassion and love, so don't let him down because you're afraid of your grief.

It is one of the worst decisions to have to make, I know. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

[peacebuzzard]

23. Saying goodbye is so hard, I know.

And Sirius may just want to spend the last of his days in peace at his home rather than being put through any more painful treatments. If they are uncomfortable for him. My old friend Jake held on for months, and the last few weeks he just slept and wanted me to be with him. He died peacefully at home. But he did get very thin and dehydrated. It was much tougher on me. I feel like he just drifted off. My thoughts are with you guys.

[enigmatic]

24. I don't know what to say

I'm so sorry...

[friesianrider]

25. Ask him.

He will tell you. I so know what you're feeling, but I've always felt that we owe it to our fur babies to let them go in peace before it becomes absolutely unbearable for them to live any longer. It is tough, but you should know that you will always wonder "did I do it too soon?" or "did I wait too long?" No one can tell you the right time except Sirius. What a fortunate boy to have you as an owner - I wish all animals were as lucky as your sweet Sirius. You may consider looking into a vet who would come to your home and do it - we've done it for all our animals when we were able. It costs a bit extra, but is so worth it.

Hold him in your arms and just ask him out loud if he thinks it is time. Your boy will tell you if it is or is not. Just always be willing to listen. Whatever you decide will be right, I promise you. I've said a prayer for your guy just now, and you as well. God bless you and Sirius. :hug:

[driver8]

26. It is funny how they let you know...

I had to put my sweet Border Collie, Cody, to sleep a couple of months ago. I was torn up and spent the night next to his bed. Every time I started to doze off, he gave me a nudge with his nose or licked my face as if to say, "I'm going to be ok."

Man...I'm blubbering like a baby...

[enigmatic]

27. They know

When I moved up here to be w/ my wife, she had a 16 year old kitty that was my mortal enemy for the first few months. I love animals and love kittys, but she just wouldn't warm up to me. It really upset me; my wife told both her and me to be patient w/ each other.

After awhile, she would come up and sit on my lap, purring away. In another month, she wouldn't leave my side; my wife started calling me "her boyfriend". We really grew to love each other deeply in a way only an animal and human can; I can't explain it very well.

On the anniversary of my first year up here she was walking by me and she went into convulsions; I picked her up and she died in my arms. She went pretty quick, but I couldn't stop crying, and my wife of course was in a bad way as well for a long, long time.

I've thought about that ever since that day, and I realize now that her dying on that day of all days was probably her way of telling me that she trusted me enough now to leave me with her life-long friend, my wife.

I loved the kitty more than most humans, even though I only got to be w/ her a year. I still miss her.

[kikiek]

32. Sorry for your loss, but thanks for sharing that story. There's a

comforting element to it.

[mac56]

28. I'm crying right now.

My heart goes out to you and Sirius. You are lucky to have each other.

Be strong.

[RebelOne]

29. So sorry.

Sirius looks quite a bit like Dewey, my little foster doggie.

&slideshow=paused&interval=3

He's has been groomed since the photo, so now his face looks much like Sirius. Of course, the coloring is different.

[kikiek]

30. It never feels right. I wish the best to you both.

[Darth_Kitten]

31. I am so sorry for you and Sirius.

We know how much you love Sirius. :(

You will know when it's time, that's all I can add. You will know. :hug:

It's hard and painful, I know. :(

[Debbi801]

33. I'm so sorry. I wish you and Sirius peace. (nt)

[arwalden]

34. You've Made All The Same Decisions I Would Have Made...

... so even though it's difficult to to predict exactly *when* or quantify exactly *what* will cause you to make that decision, I know that you'll know the answer and make the right decision... if-and-when it comes.

Even though it's difficult to NOT look that far ahead, try not to spend too much time dwelling on it and dreading the moment. It will arrive eventually, and you'll know. Trust yourself. (And, it may be that Sirius will quietly 'decide' for himself when its time to go.)

Hugs and love to you both!

-- Allen

[Richardo]

35. What a sweet looking dog - I'd have trouble letting him go too

:hug:

Sending thoughts and prayers for peace to you and Sirius.