Think up weird plots for films

[Zuni]

For example, A teenage pop punk rocker and Confederate General Robert E. Lee form a shoplifting ring targeting area 7-11s. Titled : Shoplifting With General Lee

:hi:

[Zuni]

1. another

Tony Danza inherits a live Turkey from a rich realtive, along with a map to some buried treasure! Hijinks ensue. Titled: Talkin' Turkey

[asthmaticeog]

2. .

Three Cheetos-addicted tweener chicks, after getting savagely beaten by bowling-pin weilding vigilantes for making fun of an old man's infected foot, embark on a journey of self-discovery, and learn that at the core, every human being is not unlike a crayon dissolving in a bottle of expensive perfume.

[jobycom]

3. A power mad vice president sets ups a shadow government

then detonates a nuclear bomb under the capitol. Before the states can appoint a new Congress, he blames a foreign nation and declares martial law, indefinitely suspending the Constitution. The end.

[TheDebbieDee]

4. How about this......A documentary in which a life coach

moves in with a family to teach them how to reconnect with each other after the family loses their cable TV.

Entitled, of course: Life Without Cable

[Sannum]

5. A romantic comedy with Mike Tyson and Meg Ryan

She is his parole officer and they fall in love.

[Ptah]

6. A craftsman has a secret process that propels his employer

to vast riches.

[WeRQ4U]

7. A man has a genetic mutation which allows him to cry stained glass...

He uses this power to become world famous and very rich. He is captured by an Opus Dei elite and forced to create elaborate and expensive stained glass church windows. The movie is his struggle to free himself from the bonds of the Opus Elite, complicated because he finds Jesus and begins to love his new world. He comes to his senses and creates a window which enshrines Lucifer. Upon seeing the window, his captor bursts into flames and melts ala Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark. The church burns down, and in the fire he loses his ability to produce glass, but gains an ability to...............cliffhanger.......................talk to God.

The Movie will be titled "Eyes on the Prize"

[ofrfxsk]

11. We have a winner!

That is awesome but please stop invading my bizarre dreams. mk?

;-) :D

[WeRQ4U]

14. Sweet.

And I it's a deal.

[Zuni]

8. The Big Suck Ship

Tom Green and Angelina Jolie are a newly married couple who go on the original "Cruise From Hell". They meet an older couple, Burt Reynolds and Kathy Bates but end up spending the week trying out clever ways to outwit them. Also starring Snoop Dogg, Tommy Lee Jones and lady pro wrestler Chynna

[Beware the Beast Man]

9. It's a film about this cop who goes back in time for some reason.

And his sidekick is a talking pie...

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. Natalie Portman takes a shower for 7 hours.

2 hours in, Kirsten Dunst enters and they lather and wash and explore each other for 5 hours.

Well, maybe not weird, but, dammit, it's what i want!

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. A talking Yak's bladder helps a couple of african-american magic-using

children to fend off an attack on Earth by giant space-faring herbalists with a predilection toward verbosity and inane gadgetry, utilizing nothing more than Doris Day's skull and the April, 1972 copy of Mademoiselle, in a climactic battle filmes in wide-aspect technicolor but adjusted as though it were being broadcast at .998 times the speed of light. Tom Clancy shows up at the end and kills the enemy with a petrified pack of Razzles blasted from a myopic Frenchman's kidney-stoned blocked urethra.

[BigMcLargehuge]

13. This will be fun

Rabrrrr and Thomas Kinkaide have a long surreal conversation over a dinner at a fine restaurant, then Rabrrrr stabs Thomas Kinkaide to death with the blunt end of his butter knife. Title - My Dinner with Maaco

The Dalai Lama and Bruce the Mechanical Shark team up to save a Dagestani village from bandits led by Liza Minelli. Title - Whoopin Ass

The screen is black, the audience is handed a series of blank white cards as they enter the darkened theater. Title - Braille: the motion picture.

[punpirate]

15. A shallow, unfeeling...

... president on vacation is trapped inside his ranch house by activists who wrap the entire house in 37,000 rolls of duct tape, cut his lines of communication and the cable to his satellite TV dish. Unable to escape, he is forced to spend the rest of his administration reading and rereading The History of Salt for amusement. Many minutes of him reading while his lips move. Subtitled. Rated R for language.

[ZombieNixon]

16. We Are Living in Hell

After nearly starting a worldwide nuclear war, the US elects a progressive anti-war president who swears he will order the destruction of all America's nuclear weapons upon inauguration. The president-elect's wife is killed in a freak car accident one month after the election, upon which the president-elect goes into a depression that he only keeps himself out of by going on endless international tours apologizing for the idiocy of his predecessor.

The US finishes dismantling all their nuclear weapons by August and the president travels to Paris for a conference where he agrees to pay reparations to all the countries America attacked in the prior year.

All his great plans are shattered when penguins from outer space attack, sink Hawai'i into the sea and flood the entire Eastern Seabord (this is a convenient plot device known as "this movie is boring, let's change the entire theme"). The president gathers the remaining elements of his cabinet and forms a government in exile in the Los Angeles undergrouns while the penguins land and subjugate humans.

The government-in-exile, getting desperate, starts chucking guns and anyone who can use one and carries out small terrorist strikes against penguin installations. In one raid, they stumble across plans for the penguin mothership, a behemoth known as the "Bob-class cruiser." Sneaking aboard a penguin shuttle, a group of freedom-fighter, led by the president, fight their way to the command center where, they encounter the penguin emeperor, Bob the Moderately Sane, a 40000 year old preserved head in a jar. After a heated swordfighte with the Penguin Supreme Commander, Mike the Mildly Modest, the president succeeds in destroying Emperor Bob's life support. Leaderless, the Penguins leave Earth, leaving the people of Earth in charge of a charred hellscape from which there is no escape...

Rated PG-13 for sci-fi violence, thematic elements and excessive inanity