God Denies Links to Pat Robertson

[Kerrytravelers]

God Denies Links to Pat Robertson
God denied having any links to conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson yesterday after He received reports that Mr. Robertson had called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Sources close to the Higher Being say that He is "tired" of Mr. Robertson and wants him to stop using His name.

God considering filing "cease and desist" letter




Credit is due to this thread which inspired me: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3920704

[TaleWgnDg]

1. that website is funny as hell !

.

edited to add link: http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/08/god_denies_link.html

.

[Rhiannon12866]

2. It's about time...

This reminds me of the best Onion article, ever, in which God raises holy hell for those who persist in killing in His name. This was published shortly after 9/11...:-(

[Duer 157099]

6. Hah, me too!

In fact, I went and found it even before I saw your post.

Wish I could post it all:

http://web.archive.org/web/20010927222335/http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_dont_kill.html

NEW YORK—Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday.

"Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand."

(snip)

"I'm talking to all of you, here!" continued God, His voice rising to a shout. "Do you hear Me? I don't want you to kill anybody. I'm against it, across the board. How many times do I have to say it? Don't kill each other anymore—ever! I'm fucking serious!"

Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept.

[Rhiannon12866]

7. Absolutely! Thank you!

This was just one of the best things I've ever read on the subject! Awesome!:wow:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. That was my first clue that the other article might be a joke

:D DOH!

[Initech]

4. I should hope so!

I mean, if God does exist, why would he want to associate himself with such an asshole like Pat Robertson?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[jamesinca]

5. A little more serious of a note

Jim Wallis had this to say on his website www.sojo.net

Robertson is known for his completely irresponsible statements - that the 9/11 terrorist attacks were due to American feminists and liberals, that true Christians could vote only for George W. Bush, that the federal judiciary is a greater threat to America than those who flew the planes into the World Trade Center Towers, and the list goes on. Robertson even took credit once for diverting a hurricane. But his latest outburst may take the cake.

On Monday, Robertson called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Robertson is worried about Chavez's critiques of American power and behavior in the world, especially because Venezuela is sitting on all that oil. We simply can't have an anti-American political leader who could raise the price of gas. So let's just kill him, the famous television preacher seriously suggested. After all, having some of our "covert operatives" take out the troublesome Venezuelan leader would be cheaper than another $200 billion war, he said.

It's clear Robertson must not have first asked himself "What would Jesus do?" But the teachings of Jesus have never been very popular with Robertson. He gets his religion elsewhere, from the twisted ideologies of an American brand of right-wing fundamentalism that has always been more nationalist than Christian. Apparently, Robertson didn't even remember what the Ten Commandments say, though he has championed their display on the walls of every American courthouse. That irritating one about "Thou shalt not kill" seems to rule out the killing of foreign leaders. But this week, simply putting biblical ethics aside, Robertson virtually issued an American religious fatwah for the murder of a foreign leader - on national television no less. That may be a first.

Yesterday Robertson "apologized." First he denied saying what he had said, but it was on the videotape (it's tough when they record you breaking the Ten Commandments and the teachings of Jesus). Then he said that "taking out" Chavez might not require killing him, and perhaps kidnapping a duly elected leader would do. But Robertson does now say that using the word "assassination" was wrong and that he had been frustrated by Chavez - the old "my frustration made me say that somebody should be killed" argument. But the worst thing about Robertson's apology was that he compared himself to Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German church leader and martyr who ultimately joined in a plot to assassinate Adolph Hitler.

<SNIP>

he goes on to say that Robertson needs to quit the business of trying to be a preacher.