Humor

[HawkerHurricane]

A neighbor of President Bush in Crawford, Texas, fired his shotgun in the air twice because he was upset about all the protesters. ... President Bush was pretty shaken up because this was the closest he's ever been to actual combat." --Jay Leno

Top Ten George W. Bush Complaints about "Fahrenheit 9/11":
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>10. That actor who played the President was totally unconvincing
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>9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election
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>8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words
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>7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months; he could have included the part where I get him deported
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>6. Didn't have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger
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>5. Of all Michael Moore's accusations, only 97% are true
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>4. Not sure - - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe
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>3. Where the hell was Spider-man?
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>2. Couldn't hear most of the movie over Cheney's foul mouth
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>1. I thought this was supposed to be about dodgeball

How many of you are glad they're writing a new
constitution in Iraq?
How many of you just wish they'd stop
rewriting ours here at home?"
--Jay Leno

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[Akoto]

1. Haha. Something Leno said the other night ...

Not an exact quote, but ...

"Cheney went in for a checkup and colonoscopy. Turns out he's in very good health. They only found one cyst and three oil executives up there."