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Saturday afternoon my husband went out to his favorite hobby store and my toddler was down for her nap. Ahhh, wonderful freedom and time to lie on the chase lounge eating bon bons. Ooops, wrong scenario. What I actually was doing was cleaning the guest bedroom, because we actually have to use it in a week to house, well, guests. So, I'm putting stuff in piles, like stepdaughter's stuff (the girl has been out of our house and in her own place for a year and I still have some of her stuff in the guest bedroom), Good Will, pitch, etc. when the phone rings. Toddler can usually sleep through anything, but she had just gone down and I know from painful experience that if she wakes up then, it's all over.
So, I ran to the nearest phone and answered the call. The voice on the other end asked if this is . I cautiously answered yes, it is. "Oh," says the Voice, "can I call you or do you prefer ." I answered "It depends on who you are." Oh said the Voice. I'm Betty and I'm calling for the NRA. "In that case", I said, "you may call me Ms. Last Name." You could almost hear the double eye-blink. Then the Voice carried on with her spiel "We want to thank you for your past support of the NRA (I was a member for a couple of years, but dropped out when they got too weird for me.). What would you do if the UN came in your house and took your guns?"
"Well," I said, "they are welcome to - I don't own any guns. (conveniently forgetting my husband's revolver and rifled muskets locked up in the basement). But, let me ask you, isn't using "the UN is coming to take your guns away" routine getting old and stale?"
"But," the Voice sputtered "they are trying to do just that - take your guns away." So I repeated - I don't own guns, and don't want to because I have a toddler in the house.
Now the Voice was clearly confused and asked "Were you ever a member of the NRA?" To which I replied that yes, I had been, but my views on guns had changed over the years, especially since I became a mother and besides, I didn't care for the politicians and policies the NRA kept supporting. I finished up with "You people support too many pro-Bush Republicans and you are not going to do that with my money."
"Oh," said the Voice, "does that mean I can't put you down to renew your membership?" "Bingo" I replied, "Best luck with your next call." and hung up.
In retrospect, I wish that I had just said, no thanks, not interested and hung up, but it was kind of fun. My husband got a laugh out of it when he got home and reminded me that one of my colleagues from work had been seconded to the UN so that I should have told the NRA person that if it were Raj who showed up at the door to take my guns away, I'd invite him in and offer him a cup of tea.
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