What's a good age for Marrying?

[Sandpiper]

This thread popped into my head, because my Brother-in-law is getting married this weekend. He's 25 and his wife-to-be is 20.


Now, I'd say that it has a lot to do with the maturity of the individual in question, but on the whole, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone under 25.

Being married myself, I think lifelong commitments to another person should be entered into only after you've lived on your own for a while, gained some life experience, and figured out what you want from life.

But, that's just my opinion.

What about the rest of you? What do you think and why?

[KG]

1. 57

[Gormy Cuss]

19. Let me guess: your age +1, and it's updated every year?

Or were you subliminally projecting your desire for one of the Heinz varieties?
:dunce:

[tjwmason]

2. Depends on the couple.

My sister married at 26 to a 25 year-old (having been de facto married for several years before that) - and I can barely imagine a more stable marriage.

Others wait till much later - and still make a total hash, marrying without knowing what they're getting into.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

3. I'm with you

I think people need to experience the ups and down of life on their own for a while first. I'd say marriage at 25 and after is ideal.

[northzax]

4. 12-13, ideally.

git em young and freach, 'fore people start puttin' funny ideas into the ir heads.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

5. My husband's parents were married that young in India

Traditional in some cultures.

[northzax]

6. good age for a second or third wife

I find.

[billyskank]

7. Should point out

they don't actually go to live with each other as a married couple at that age! Often the new bride will go and live with her in-laws until the couple are old enough to start a household themselves.

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

8. believe me, it depends on the woman you're signing away your life to

[Bassic]

9. I think you're dead on

and absolutely right.

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. Tried it at 23, didn't work out.

[KitchenWitch]

11. 20 is sooooo young

IMHO one does not know who they are until their mid twenties...

[China_cat]

12. 83

[no name no slogan]

13. Physical age is meaningless

I know many 30-somethings who have no business getting married. I also know a couple 20-somethings who are happily married and will probably stay that way for the rest of their lives.

My grandparents got married at a "young" 22, and were together 55+ years before my grandmother passed. I got married at an older and more mature 27, and am getting divorced at 36. Go figure.

Age is increasingly meaningless when it comes to marriage. If two people are emotionally mature enough and are willing to make the commitment to be together for the rest of their lives, let them get married.

[jobycom]

14. 9

Hey, it worked for A'isha.

[khashka]

15. I'd say 30 but I'm a cynical old man

I do think that people should spend at least a year alone.... no dating. I think you need the experience to get to know yourself and to realize that you can live and succeed without another person.

If you do that, then you can enter into a relationship honestly. Not out of need (you've proved you can exist and excell alone) but out of a true desire to be with someone.

And I'm gonna stick with 30. A little arbitrary, I know. People under 30 will think I'm being way too tough on them. People over 30 will understand - even if they married happily in their 20's. Maybe wisdom doesn't come with age, but experience does. And I truly don't believe anyone achieves adulthood until their 30's, I really don't.

If anyone had said that to me when I was younger, I would have been furious. But it is true...

Khash.

[4_Legs_Good]

16. I got married at 26, and it might have been a bit too early

Not sure. I mean we're happy and everything's great, but 28 is the best age on earth and maybe, maybe it woulda been nicer to be single durring that time.

of course I didn't know it at the time.

Anyway, I'd say <24 is a big mistake.

david

[SOteric]

17. In the words of Dave Barry:

Why get married? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

And for that reason I'd say the correct age for marriage is 105. Give or take.

[chaska]

18. Everyone should read 'The Sibling Society' by Robert Bly...

Since about WWII adolescence has been growing ever longer. There are many 40 year olds that haven't managed to become adults yet.

Adolescents probably shouldn't marry.

[RubyDuby in GA]

20. Late 20s, early 30s

Of course I say this because I'm getting married in 16 days and I'm 31. He's a bit older than me (46), but we both stuck it out until we found the right person (we met working on the Dean campaign and all of our core beliefs are the same). I think it's vitally important for the individual person to have made peace with themselves and are happy with who they are as a person before they rush into marriage. I know that I'm much happier with myself now than I ever was at 24, 25 or 26 years old and because of that I feel that I can bring so much more to our partnership.

Can't wait for Sept. 17th!!! And we're working on making little liberal babies (if you can't be 'em, outbreed 'em!) :evilgrin:

[skygazer]

21. There is no good age n/t

[BamaGirl]

22. Depends on the person

I was 22 when we got married (11 years next month). My mother was 18, and my parents have been married 35 years. I don't think getting married young guarantees failure. Some ppl obviously don't need to be getting married at any age!

[SheilaT]

23. As some others have pointed out,

age is only part of the equation. Personal maturity is most important. Also how compatible you two really are, and there's no formula for that. My brother and his wife argue a lot, and it can be uncomfortable being around them, but they've been married 39 years so far. They're now 62 and 63, so you do the math.

How well you can adapt to living with someone else is what matters. How well you adapt to how you each change over time, or the changes that children bring to the relationship are all more important than the calendar.

[demobabe]

24. Never, unless...

...a) you have a good understanding of the legal contract you're entering into, b) you go and spend some time watching what happens in family courts, c) are prepared if you have kids with this person to possibly never see them again if you get divorced, and d) are prepared to lose everything you own and end up homeless in the event of a divorce.

I know that sounds horrid, but we're all trained that you're supposed to grow up and get married - and it's hard to think of these kinds of situations when you're dating or young and all is bright and promising.

That being said, I'm married, never been divorced, and couldn't be happier.

[hickman1937]

25. I got married at 27. It was like getting hit by a bus.

I don't think I'll ever do that again. On the other hand my big brother got married at 22, and they (when I've seen them) fight, hate each other, can't say enough good about one another, take off together sometimes, and refuse to talk to each other about every third holiday. The rule, in the family, is, if their fighting, don't take sides. They don't welcome that. They were married in august of 1973.

[Arugula Latte]

26. 29 to 31.

Never marry early. Never ever.