Where's Ignatius J. Reilly when we really need him?

[KamaAina]

He's the quintessential New Orleanian, star of John Kennedy Toole's "A Confederacy of Dunces". And dunces are indeed on parade...

He has a Master's in medieval history. He lives Uptown on Constantinople St. with his mom, who is rather fond of cheap muscatel. He can't seem to hold down a job, though he lived in a time when they were still around. He rides the streetcars around town wearing his signature green hunting cap. In short, he reminds me of me when I lived there, except that Mom lived in Conn. and prefers a drier white wine.

Now, if Ignatius were on the scene today:

* Any looter unfortunate enough to come near Constantinople St. would find himself at the wrong end of a large man dressed in a pirate's outfit brandishing a cutlass.

* The levee breach would have been filled with Lucky Dogs hot dog carts ("Twelve Inches of Paradise"), linked together in a way Ignatius had deduced from the writings of Hroswitha.

* Ignatius would have called at least one clueless federal official a "cawm-niss" (communist), to the grewat admiration of those around him who know they would be arrested if not shot for daring to speak such blasphemy.

* And finally, new FEMA head Myrna minx would have showed up in the nick of time to lead the evacuation, in a procession of thousands of two-door sedans.

Some measure of the power of this novel may be gauged by the fact that there is a DUer -- based in Minnesota, I believe! -- named "myrna minx" after Ignatius' lady love.

[spooked911]

1. That's such a wonderful book. I was thinking about it yesterday...

[no name no slogan]

2. Dear Sirs:

I was just thinking about that book today, too!

And yes, DUer Myrna Minx is indeed based in Minnesota, at the other end of the mighty Mississippi.