Post your favorite punchlines here

[no name no slogan]

"And at these prices, you won't get many more elephants in here, either"

[Blue-Jay]

1. "Don't mind him. He likes to 'size things up' before he eats them."

[SOteric]

2. Sure. Who's he gonna tell?

[miss_kitty]

3. Because

cowboys eat with their hats on.

[Blue-Jay]

4. "No. It's me! Wayne!"

The Canucks will know that one.

[underpants]

8. I HAVE to know

I am laughing just at the punchline

[Blue-Jay]

11. It's not really that funny....but

Wayne Gretsky is in the middle of going down on his wife. She decides to give him some encouragement with a little 'sexy talk', but isn't really sure what to say, so she blurts out "Messy, eh?"

And he replies.....


(hockey joke)

[ghostsofgiants]

14. Hahaha, oh god...

My dad would love that joke.

[northzax]

17. but, but, but

Wayne's married to an American, she's never say 'eh?' silly canadians..

[no name no slogan]

19. .....

:spray:

oh shit.

[underpants]

20. SCREW PIG!!

Not a joke- a buddy told me he was listening to that sex call in show (with the Dr. and the guy from the Man Show) and a caller related a similiar story-his girlfriend told him (in the middle of the act) to talk dirty... he couldn't think of what to say so in a moment of desperation he screamed out

SCREW PIG!!!

He wasn't even sure what it meant and he was afraid to call her back.

[northzax]

5. "a blonde at a blinking red light"

[Tikki]

6. ...and survived many....

...hard....ships....





Tikki

[northzax]

7. "ok, now where's the whore...

with the impacted tooth?"

[no name no slogan]

9. You IDIOT! Down the FRONT! Down the FRONT!

[Philostopher]

10. Oh, no!

It's just ice cream!

[swag]

12. The Aristocrats.

[ghostsofgiants]

13. "Yarr, it be drivin' me nuts."

[no name no slogan]

21. I know that one!

Gotta love pirates with wacky belt buckles!

[WCGreen]

15. Too bad the Frenchman must die.....

[henslee]

16. "No.... she had arthiritis"

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

18. niiiiiiii! niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

said by the knights who say it

[WeRQ4U]

22. "Play it? I'm gonna fuck it if I can get it's pajamas off." n/t

[no name no slogan]

23. YES!

Damn, I had forgotten the punchline to that joke, but you just reminded me of it! A bagpipe-playing octopus, how preposterous is that? :P

[WeRQ4U]

24. It's lunacy. God I love that joke. The punchline just makes me giggle.

[In_The_Wind]

25. Sophie said ... So, he drove me to New Jersey .....

[arwalden]

26. So the one-legged jockey says,dont worry about me baby, I ride sidesaddle!

[AVulgarianHue]

27. Fish

(only remember short jokes):blush:

[mitchum]

28. "Me too, mine's as big as a house!"

[AmyDeLune]

29. "Why? Don't you have a vase?"

:D

[youthere]

30. NO! I said "Give it two test tickles!"

[no name no slogan]

31. Oh that? It says "Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day".

:silly:

[NMMNG]

37. I know that one!

WENDY

[no name no slogan]

39. heh

very tasteless, but still cracks my sorry ass up to this day! :hi:

[Guy Fawkes]

32. "Fuck you, clown"

[OldLeftieLawyer]

33. "Then my panties must be at the dentist's office."

[ironflange]

34. OK, you stupid frog!

This is the last time I show you how to do it!

[In_The_Wind]

36. again ...

problems with frogs ...

www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3944557&mesg_id=3944557

[hfojvt]

35. there I was

sitting in this refrigerator.

[Heidi]

38. "He stays up all night, wondering whether there is a dog." (nt)