What slick ad campaign scammed you as a child?

[Merrick]

I remember when I was five thinking that if I had Zips brand shoes I could jump like 50 feet at a time - like some kind of freakin' astronaut - by the way the kids in the commercial were bounding around. I probably drove my mom crazy begging for them, but she would always get me the $15 shoes from Payless.

[ReadTomPaine]

1. Porsche

I actually wanted a 914 more than their 911 at one time. Thank goodness I came to my senses.

[AlienGirl]

2. I wanted to have a Golden Grahams day

They looked like such good days!

Also, I thought there really was a Hidden Valley where Hidden Valley ranch was made.

Tucker

[Shakespeare]

4. Well, there kinda was (is)....

http://food4.epicurious.com/HyperNews/get/archive_swap44201-44300/44226.html

Indeed, ranch dressing was invented at Hidden Valley Ranch near Santa Barbara, California, by a real salad-wranglin' rancher. In the '50s and '60s Steve Henson and his wife, Gayle, shared their 120-acre dude ranch with University of California at Santa Barbara students and other festive partiers for rousing weekend shindigs. The dozens of guests were serve meals of steaks and salads topped with Steve's special blend of herbs, spices, mayonnaise and buttermilk. As word got out about the fabulous dressing more guests were showing up at the ranch and walking home with complimentary take-home jars filled with the stuff. Eventually Steve figured he could make a little cash on the side by packaging the dressing as a dry mix and selling it through the mail. At first he was filling envelopes himself, but within a few months Steve had to hire 12 more people to help with the packaging. Soon Steve had a multi-million dollar business on his hands, from a product that for 10 years he had been giving away for free.

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. Sea Monkeys, man.

They looked nothing like those cool creatures lounging against their castle in my comic book. And after a few weeks of not eating the icky green powder food they all started to clump together in a dingy, dank tank....We sent them back from whence they came.

[DawgHouse]

5. That was a total scam!

I was very disappointed too ;(

[El Fuego]

8. Same here!

They're supposed to look like this:



But they really look like this:

[Generic Other]

11. And they ate each other after their food ran out!!

Sea Monsters.

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. Is THAT what they were doing??? Ewwwwwww!!!

I thought they were hugging...and they never ate the food I gave them...ungrateful little briny things.

[mitchum]

31. I think that's the first one that suckers all of us...

life's first consumer disappointment.

[BikeWriter]

54. They didn't smile at all, did they? :-(

[BigMcLargehuge]

6. The Zips ad campaign got me too

I drove my mom nuts wanting those and always ended up with the other popular brand at the time, Jox, from Thom McCann.

[TransitJohn]

7. Welcome to the Honeycomb Hideout!!

Man, my older brother and I skipped school to build a "fort" outta scrap lumber in the backyard...wanted it to be cooler than the Honeycomb Hideout.

[henslee]

10. (Bigbite's coming your way)

[TransitJohn]

13. Bwahahahahaha

:rofl: :spray: :rofl: :spray: :rofl: :spray: :rofl: :spray:

[henslee]

9. Krazyglue. I tried to hang from a girder by a hard hat and fell.

[gmoney]

12. Slinky, and Mouse Trap

Could never get a Slinky to do any of the stuff they claimed... walk down stairs my ass.

And I was always wildly intrigued by the commercials for Mouse Trap, but I never got it, nor did any of my friends that I know of. I imagine once the thing was assembled it would be a real let down.

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Mouse Trap was actually pretty cool

the gameplay itself was rather lame, but the contraption was an amazing bit of Goldberd-based excitement!

[gmoney]

19. can I come over to your house for a game of Mouse Trap?

I can bring my Sports Illustrated Baseball game from 1971!

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. I don't have one

I only played my cousin's.

Sorry!

[gmoney]

30. You have Sorry! ?

A rather brutal board game, Sorry!

Seems cousins always have the best toys and games... why is that?

[Rabrrrrrr]

57. Yes, we did have Sorry! And Aggrevation, and Pachesi!

All great games!

[LittleClarkie]

14. "What do you mean Milton the Toaster doesn't really talk!?"

"What a ripoff!"

I actually remember wondering as a child why MY toaster didn't talk.

[mitchum]

37. My blender is telling me to kill as I post on this thread...

but he should know by now, that I am strong enough to resist :)

[Lilith Velkor]

52. Ya gotta leave him alone with Mrs. Butterworth

She has ways of making toasters talk.

[youthere]

16. Those "clacker balls"..

They were two large glass balls connected by a string with a loop in the middle...the commercials showed the kids happily clacking away...I damn near gave myself a skull fracture. Bastards.

[Bobby_Miller]

28. Yep.

Remember how they'd bust the fuck out of your elbows, too. And, man, if you somehow let go and they got away form you...better hope there weren't any windows around.

But otherwise they were kinda fun.

[youthere]

32. You sure didn't want to get them going on a crowded playground..

Welcome to DU!:hi:

[mitchum]

34. And not to mention those bigass bruises on your inner forearm

[Clintmax]

41. ROFL!

:rofl: Oh my Gods! clackers! Damned bruise causing balls!

[hippiechick]

17. Datsun

... OMG. I can still see the ads and hear the catchy little jingle ...

"NEW! Datsun Sentraaaaaaaa .. YOU! need this car !"

And sure as shit, the only kind of car I've ever owned - or considered owning - is a Nissan Sentra.

Sumbitches got me good.

[Blue-Jay]

18. Cap'n Crunch never told me that he'd lacerate my upper palate.

[youthere]

21. That was just the sugar-crusted broken glass.

No worries.

[justabob]

23. LOL

I read that and now can't stop laughing.... so true.

[miss_kitty]

27. I loved that feeling

in a childlike masochistic way...

[Eurobabe]

43. still get that at 45

even with the bioengineered corn!

[Blue-Jay]

45. I have to admit that I still crave Cap'n Crunch.

That's some good shit right there. Do they still make the peanut butter cereal too?

[jane_pippin]

22. I Hanker for a Hunka CHEESE!

I swear nobody remembers that cartoon cheese cowboy, but I do, and goddamnit he was real.

[Blue-Jay]

24. A slab, a slice, or chunk-a?

I remember the swiss cheese cowboy man.

[jane_pippin]

53. When my ten gallon hat's feellin' five gallons flat it's so hard to choose

[bliss_eternal]

25. I desperately wanted the Rabbit to have a bowl of Trix!!

:P

Anything less than that was just cruel in my eyes.

[mitchum]

38. So did I!

It really was just so damn unfair.

[bliss_eternal]

47. I know. What would it hurt to let him have a big bowl of Trix?

It was a fuckin' conspiracy. I swear it was.

[mitchum]

48. Especially when that obnoxious Sonny got all of the damn Coco...

Puffs he wanted. That bird was nuts, the rabbit was sweet.

[bliss_eternal]

51. I had totally forgotten about Sonny. He WAS an ass!

The rabbit was so sweet--he was always nice to the kids. :(

[swag]

29. This one and associated ones.

[mitchum]

33. X Ray Specs...I still had to wait a few years to see if grown up naked...

ladies REALLY looked like the ones in the magazines in my dad's sock drawer. Damn!

[Guaranteed]

35. Any action figure commercial.

And the cereal commercials were extremely effective, as well.

[libnnc]

36. Zips and Honey Comb cereal

Those Honey Comb cereal kids had that really cool tree house.

Damn those Honey Comb kids! :mad:

[youthere]

39. I always wanted the Kool-Aid guy to come crashing through the wall.

[mitchum]

49. Not me, I don't like violent pitchers

:)

[Blue-Jay]

40. Stretch Armstrong

Sure, he was stretchy and all that. You could squeeze him and her felt pretty soft. UNTIL YOU GOT WHACKED IN THE HEAD WITH HIM, THAT IS! Goddamn, that thing was as hard as a rock when you got brained with it. Fuck you, Stretch Armstrong!

Plus, what was that 'goo' inside him? That stuff was creepy when you cut him open and it tasted like shit.

[Clintmax]

42. You TASTED the goo inside???

:rofl: One of my friends lost a fingernail to Stretch. He was pulling an arm out, got his nail caught and when he let it go, his nail went with it! *shudders*

[Blue-Jay]

44. Didn't everybody?

That Stretch was an right evil bastard.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

58. OMG I googled images just to make sure it is the toy I was thinking of

Different names in Brazil, you know. Well, it IS the same toy. But I also found out THIS: http://www.limpfish.com/pics.php?p=24

[Southsideirish]

46. Folger's Coffee, "Bringing a mountain to Chicago". They totally had me

hooked.

[democracyindanger]

50. Tarn-X

Not nearly as fun cleaning old coins as the commercial made it appear to be.

[Scooter24]

55. I've always

wanted to visit the Kool-Aid Fun Factory :(

[BlueIris]

56. Whatever the red cereal was the said you could get a free camera

if you ate enough of it.

I still cringe with rage thinking about that.