I got hassled by "the man" tonight

[HEyHEY]

On the way into Vancouver I stopped at a friends... we yakked for a bit and I had a glass of scoth..just an ounce. It took me about a half hour to drink it.
On the way home as I got into my car, there was some dew on the window.. so I hit the wipers to clear it...as I drove they kind of fogged up a bit...as I cleared them a second time I didn't notice there was a yield lane instead of just a regular right hand turn. So I jerk the wheel to make it just as the fuzz rolled by, they saw me.
I was thinking, "Shit if he pulls me over I have booze on my breath."
So I just hung back in the same lane as him so if I hit a light I'd be right behind him. So we cruise along, then hit an 80 zone, I was in a 60 at first. He doesn't speed up, and I'm thinking, "he's fucking with me, if I do 60 he'll think I'm just doing it because he is and that I'm trying to cover up something, and if I do 80 he'll pull me over too. So I think, "fuck it" and speed up to 80... then the light turns yellow, and I think, "Aha! Now I get to brake AND I'll turn left just to get away from this bastard."
So I get into the left turn lane...now, he's in the FAR right, beside me and hits the brakes....and turns into the left lane right behind me. I was thinking I was screwed for sure. So I acted casual and nonchalantly stretched.... then out of nowhere... he just turned back into the right lane and drove off.

Fucker!

[Whoa_Nelly]

1. Maybe he had booze on his breath, too

hmmmmm

[jus_the_facts]

2. here's what really bein' hassled by the *man* looks like....

:nopity:

[short bus president]

6. that photo is straight out of "Black Hawk Down"

'cept this time around it appears to be operation "Black People Down." So THIS is 2005 in 'Murka...

[HEyHEY]

7. And that thing has a flat

Fuck, if they can't even keep air in the tires, how are they supposed to perform a proper evac?

[BiggJawn]

3. Wanna know how I handle that kind of shit?

I pull off, pop the hood, and start tinkering with the engine. If Johnnie Bluelegs stops, I just say "It was missing out. I think the coil wire's loose...Ah, that's got it, thanks for stopping, Officer, I got it from here..."

And get a case of OCD about wiping your hands until he gets bored and leaves....

[JVS]

4. You should have had a Quebec Separatist bumpersticker to antagonize...

the imperialist pig-dog.

[HEyHEY]

5. Yeah, he thought "Tercel" sounded French

Bastard!