I have the power to turn you into blind three-legged gay albino platypuses

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

But I choose not to use it. For now. If you offend me too much, though, I won't vouch for myself.

[KamaAina]

1. Nuke a blind three-legged gay albino platypus for Jesus!

:nuke:

[Bossy Monkey]

2. Too late.

I AM a blind three-legged gay albino platypus. And thanks SO much for calling my shame to everyone's attention.:P

[nickgutierrez]

3. I don't believe you.

You can't just "make" a three-legged albino platypus "turn" gay. They're born that way.

[onager]

4. No you don't. But you did once.

Somewhere around 2 to 5,000 years ago you had the power to turn me into a three-legged gay albino platypus.

Really, it happened all the time. Honest. The proof is in a really old book I have lying around here somewhere, where many people said they actually saw it happen. So it must be true.

I can't find the book right now, or any other supporting evidence. Drat, I hate it when that happens! I'll have to get back to you.

However, I can provide tons of links to purely objective websites explaining why, in 500,000 words or more, you could do it once but can't do it now.

Surely that counts as evidence.

(edit to note this is a response to the Original Post. Duh...clicked the wrong place...)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

5. Oh yes. Those were the days.

Fire and brimstone baby. I was on a roll. But I've grown soft now. Sigh.