(SATIRE): Bush Withdraws All Iraq Troops to Assist in NO Recovery

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i9142

Washington -- In a stunning act of leadership President George W. Bush today announced the withdrawl of ALL troops from Iraq to assist in Hurricane Katrina rescue and recovery efforts. "It's simple," said Bush, for once not fumbling for words, "Our own people have to come first. The Iraqi people, it's plain to see, need to solve their own problems." Reportedly "under fire" from major campaign contributors including Halliburton and Bechtel for the troop withdrawal, Bush stated, "I'm tired of being a puppet on a string. From now on I'm going to be President of this Great Nation.

Critics from Molly Ivins to Jon Stewart, Michael Moore and Bill Moyers, reportedly stood at attention and even saluted when Bush's motorcade, hauling boats, food, and supplies, turned left onto Pennsylvania Avenue headed for New Orleans. "Tell the people of New Orleans that every helicopter in America is coming to rescue them, and not just the government ones. Bush called on fishermen from Alabama to Texas to "load 'em up and head for The Big Easy" to help out, in addition to "nationalizing" all helicopter services.

"We've got the strategic oil reserves, and plenty of gas for every boat, airplane, and helicopter to pick these people up by midnight tomorrow. We've got corporations like Coca-Cola who I'm sure will contribute enough Dasani and bottled water for Orleaners not just to drink, but to take a bath in. This is strong, powerful country, and the rescue of New Orleans will be our finest hour."

Broadcast over NPR, ABC, CBS, CNN, and virtually every radio network in the nation, Bush's announcement of unity and aid was universally applauded by Democrats and Republicans alike.