You know what bothers me most?

[supernova]

Not that I have problems to work out. Not that I have dilemmas to decide on. Not that quandaries don't come up in life.

Shit happens. I understand that. I'm perfectly prepared to cope with the vagaries of life.

What I don't understand, and help me out here, is why when people ask you "What's wrong?" they don't want to stick around long enough to find out? :shrug:

edit: I'm sure this post will sink like a stone because people will say :wtf: is she talking about?

[Crazy Guggenheim]

1. Just tell them if you wanted their opinion you'd ask for it.

[knowbody0]

2. what's wrong???

[supernova]

4. It's hard to explain

...... I have a hard time talking about myself to begin with.

Just when I might get going on a topic, particularly something that is bothering me... I notice a pattern of people not wanting to stick around to listen. They suddenly decide they'd rather be elsewhere. For whatever reason.

It's probably me. Or just that I "pipe up" at the wrong time. *sigh*

[Crazy Guggenheim]

5. How's that piping up at the wrong time if they asked you?

[supernova]

7. That's just it

If they don't want to know the answer, I'd rather they not have asked in the first place.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

9. Just remember what I said above ......... If they are just curious

then don't respond and walk away.

[supernova]

10. My problem is

I don't know the difference, so I usually wind up getting hurt. :cry:

[knowbody0]

11. ya gotta be careful about spreading dread

ya gotta problem. look for a solution. if there be one, try and find it, if there be none, nevermind it

[supernova]

12. Huh?

I'm not talking about spreading dread.

I'm talking about simple venting, really.

[knowbody0]

13. not accusing

sorry if it sounded like that. venting is healthy and good.

[Floogeldy]

3. All people? Or just some particular persons?

I'll check for your answer in a couple of days, hopefully.

;)

[hfojvt]

6. because if they stuck around

they might be in the awkward spot of having to provide emotional or financial or physical support or assistance or say something comforting, and a) they are not that close to you, just being co-workers or Sunday-friends, and/or b) they are at about 97% with their own problems and worries.

[supernova]

8. I think you're on to something jfojvt

I don't usually ask for money. Not ever as a matter of fact.

But just a pat on the back and a word of encouragement here or there would be nice.

[hfojvt]

15. there, there. there, there

"Don't ever let 'em end the things you do."

In our culture, for most people, touching other people is kinda awkward, except hand-shakes. That is what is so great about pets and toddlers - you get to hold and pet them.

[LaPera]

14. You got it.

[KitchenWitch]

16. I hear you

If I am down and someone asks me how I am doing, I usually say, "Do you want the honest answer, or do you just want me to say, 'fine'?"

[RedCloud]

17. Liars! I read every word of these posts.

So write on. That way I can keep my cleanup work procrastinating.

[supernova]

19. What is that supposed to mean?

:shrug:

[RedCloud]

24. Now we have reversed roles.

I am supposed to listen to you. But you want me to explain what I was thinking about as I was mining from the back pages.

I have about two years of work ahead of me, well maybe two days max, but it will take two decades to finish, if I am not finished by then.

I just wanted you to know that there are those who care about their Duers.

But let me reread this thread in case I have a screw loose.

[progmom]

18. yep

:hug:

[supernova]

20. Thanks progmom

:hug:

Last night, posting while red-wining. :crazy:

[Left_Winger]

21. I know how you feel... I think

I receive the same treatment, people ask what bothering me and I tell them, then I receive the "poor, pitiful me" comments from them. So why did they ask in the first place? To make themselves feel superior? Heck, I don't know.
On the other hand, the same people will trap me in a corner and vent loudly when I cannot escape.

[supernova]

22. You've noticed that phenomenon too?

You get labelled a "good listener" and a "solid, loyal friend," but when you seek out the same, those same people don't want to reciprocate.

:scared: OTOH, maybe it's better that they don't.

[Left_Winger]

23. Yes I have

But this takes place only at work. My co-workers trap me to vent when things don't go their way. Normally, I will usually try to keep my opinions to myself and simply listen. If they ask me what I think, they whine if I don't tell them what they want to hear and claim that I read too much into everything they just said.

Luckily for me my room has been moved to the opposite end of the school and I don't have to endure this anymore.

On the other hand, my true friends (and family) are always there for me. These are the people with whom I actually discuss things and seek support when I need it.


After a few experiences of being open with my co-workers, I learned that I should not, no matter how much the department chair wants us to be a "family".