TOP 16 COUNTRY HIT SONGS THIS WEEK.....

[whistle]

...starting with:


16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long

15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well

11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

8. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here

7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now

6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer

And the Number one song is. . .

1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women, but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few

[petronius]

1. You forgot these:

At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump

Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load!

Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.)

How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me)

If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I'd Blow It All On You

http://www.countrysongtitles.com/

[HuskerDU]

2. Great, great stuff. Here are a few more:

'Thank God and Greyhound (she's gone)'
'She Got the Goldmine (I got the shaft)'
'Too Dumb for New York City, Too Ugly for LA'