Morning breaks...the pain remains, sigh

[bicentennial_baby]

Well, i slept maybe 4 hours. i feel empty and really sad, really alone. i can't go in my room, it looks so empty. :(

but, my mom's going to help me with transportation to school, so i won't have to drop out and go insane, thankfully :)

thanks to all who offered your kind words and support last night, it meant a lot to me to have you all here for me. :hug:

life's going to be a whole new thing now, but i'm going to make it, one way or another.

[progmom]

1. hey sweetie

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

2. hi...

i wish i could say i feel better than i did last night, but i don't

:hug:

[progmom]

3. did you think you would?

is your mom around? would she make good company right now?

[bicentennial_baby]

5. no, i didn't

i'm just so broken...and my mom is unfortunately not the person to go to for sympathy...i wish. but thank you for listening :)

[BikeWriter]

11. I've been broken hearted before, Sweety...

You will survive it. You will be happy one day again. Hang in there.

[MrScorpio]

4. You'll heal, Sweet Stuff

It takes time

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

6. i'm just lost here

i feel so wrong...and it really hurts. :hug:

[MrScorpio]

8. I know exactly what a broken heart feels like

This is is a time where your friends come in handy

You have friends here to help you through

[MissHoneychurch]

7. honey what happened?

but whatever it was here is a BIG :hug: from me

[kedrys]

9. Every positive change in one's life starts with pain

That's what change does...it changes you too. You can be yourself, you can start anew, you can go in unthought-of directions.

Give yourself a chance, and you'll pull through. J'en suis sur.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

10. I'm sorry you're hurting - maybe this will help?

I posted this other day, but will do so again. It's an excerpt from Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay, "Compensation." I read it to Mom after Dad died, and she liked it so much that she copied this portion down. I keep it in my purse now.


"We cannot part with our friends. We cannot let our angels go. We do not see that they only go out, that archangels may come in. We are idolaters of the old. We do not believe in the riches of the soul, in its proper eternity and omnipresence. We do not believe there is any force in to-day to rival or recreate that beautiful yesterday. We linger in the ruins of the old tent, where once we had bread and shelter and organs, nor believe that the spirit can feed, cover, and nerve us again. We cannot again find aught so dear, so sweet, so graceful. But we sit and weep in vain. The voice of the Almighty saith, `Up and onward for evermore!' We cannot stay amid the ruins. Neither will we rely on the new; and so we walk ever with reverted eyes, like those monsters who look backwards.

And yet the compensations of calamity are made apparent to the understanding also, after long intervals of time. A fever, a mutilation, a cruel disappointment, a loss of wealth, a loss of friends, seems at the moment unpaid loss, and unpayable. But the sure years reveal the deep remedial force that underlies all facts. The death of a dear friend, wife, brother, lover, which seemed nothing but privation, somewhat later assumes the aspect of a guide or genius; for it commonly operates revolutions in our way of life, terminates an epoch of infancy or of youth which was waiting to be closed, breaks up a wonted occupation, or a household, or style of living, and allows the formation of new ones more friendly to the growth of character. It permits or constrains the formation of new acquaintances, and the reception of new influences that prove of the first importance to the next years; and the man or woman who would have remained a sunny garden-flower, with no room for its roots and too much sunshine for its head, by the falling of the walls and the neglect of the gardener, is made the banian of the forest, yielding shade and fruit to wide neighbourhoods of men."

[LynzM]

12. Hugs to you, dude

:hug: I'm glad you're able to go back to school!

[bicentennial_baby]

13. thank you!

yes, without school, i might just end up in an asylum...i'm not good with free time when i'm down like this... :)

[LynzM]

17. I hear ya

The alone time, with your own thoughts, can be the worst when you're hurting. I'm glad that school (and DU, of course :)) will help with that. :hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

19. Oh, DU is the one thing

that's keeping me from losing it altogether right now, as it was when i had a nervous breakdown last summer. :hug:

[Rising Phoenix]

14. sweetie

:pals: :hug: :pals:

[bicentennial_baby]

15. i'll be ok sweetie

like i told you, one hour at a time...i'm gonna make it, i know i will. :hug:

[Beware the Beast Man]

16. Please drop off all garments to be rended at any of these drop boxes.

:hug:

[no name no slogan]

18. It DOES get better

Even when it seems to be at its worst, just remember that the sun will still rise tomorrow. Life will go on. And you will find love again.
If I've learned anything in the past six months, it would have to be that.