Things REAL Men don't say...

[BlueJazz]

..Oh Nooooo..your mother can only stay 2 weeks?
The hell with Monday Night Football...Let's go Shopping!
Don't forget..Day after tomorrow is our anniversary.
How come you always get to take out the garbage?
Would you mind being in charge of the TV Remote from now on?
You know...We just never talk anymore...
I'm going down to Walgreens...You want me to pick up a few boxes of Sanitary Napkins?

[6000eliot]

1. They also don't discuss "window treatments."

[ofrfxsk]

2. I'm a real woman and I say

Oh goody! Another night with your overbearing mother and her precious knick knacks that we all must admire! YAY!

To hell with shopping and Monday Night Football. Let's have sex!

Thank you for remembering. I did too. Let's have sex!

I always do.

I always am.

I never really talk. We read a lot.

Yes, I will pick up an economy pack of condoms. What else ya need? Oh yes, gas-x? Gotcha. See ya soon!

Maybe this is just MY 10+ year marriage.

[BlueJazz]

4. Damn!....Are there any more like you out there?

.. :)

[lildreamer316]

6. Right here.

I should have a bumper sticker that says: I'd rather be having sex.
LOVE football (well; only if my teams are playing; but whatever)
That's because I used to be in band in HS.
I read alot too; my man will actually ask to talk. Go fig.

[WCGreen]

3. Oh Fudgesicles... Instead of FUCK

[mitchum]

5. Hell, i would actually rather go shopping than watch Monday Night

Football. Or watch football anytime. It was a fun game to play when I was a kid, but now...

[Nikia]

23. My husband is the same way

He doesn't watch football on television at all. He doesn't mind shopping that much.

[Fridays Child]

7. Here, let me put that roll of toilet paper on the spindle.

No man, real or otherwise, has ever said that.

[NMMNG]

8. I know a man who complains about people who *don't*

put new tp on the spindle, and he puts it there when it's needed.

[Fridays Child]

11. He should be in "Ripley's Believe It Or Not."

I swear I've never met a man who would do it--current husband included. But, there you go. There's always something new and unique, right around the corner.

:hi:

[NMMNG]

15. Well, he is gay, so that may explain the phenomenon.

[NewJeffCT]

16. I do that all the time

I don't even think my wife knows where the extra tp rolls are kept...

and, i'd also need to draw her a map to help her find the washer & dryer (though she does help folding the clothes, sometimes)

I'm also not sure my wife would know how to operate a vacuum cleaner.

[undeterred]

9. Why hasn't she called me? Its been 3 days and she said "I'll call you"...

:bounce:

[Omphaloskepsis]

10. wtf? is a Sanitary Napkin?

Is that like a tampon or maxi pad.. Boy stuck in a girls world.

[khashka]

14. Explanation...

I don't know if girls still engage in this barbarous practice (my girl experience is a little out of date) but...

But back in the day, they used to strap on sanitary napkins with this weird belt device. Think of an abbreviated diaper held in place with straps.

Now it's maxipads, minipads, things with wings all of which fit quite nicely inside your panties - sanitary napkins all of 'em. (Some ladies don't like tampons and toxic shock is nothing to sneer at.)


As for a boy stuck in a girls' world.... welcome to life :) Better start stocking up on your menstrual knowledge, it will serve you well.

Khash.

[khashka]

12. Other things "real" men don't say.

Fabulous!

Shoes! I just looooove shoes! They're only $300 and they're so cute!

I'm sorry I'm being bitchy, but I've got cramps, damn it!

What do you want me to cook for dinner, honey?

Your baby is so adorable, can I hold him/her?


Khash.

[Ouabache]

17. I really WOULD say: Your baby is so adorable, can I hold him/her?

because I do like holding babies, but I think people would think it was weird for a guy to ask, so I don't. (Tahnks to Michael Jackson and others) We guys really miss out in life on this one. Nothing really beats holding a cute little baby, 8 months old is just about perfect.

[tjwmason]

22. Then I guess that I'm not a real man

I would certainly say the last two things.

[chknltl]

13. Ya know, that Tom Leykos guy is just not sensitive enough....

(A lot of REAL women won't say that either)

[Skittles]

18. ANYTHING in a romance novel

theey are unrealistic as any porn

[SarahB]

19. "I hate BJs!"

[NewJeffCT]

20. her breasts are too big for me

:evilgrin:

[NewJeffCT]

21. a few more

"Let's go to the chick flick instead of the latest big budget action movie."

"let's upgrade our cable so we can get the Lifetime Movie Channel."

"I love Oprah!"

[KeepItReal]

24. "Brownie's doing a great job!"

Because of his negligence and incompetence, "Brownie" would need a podiatrist to remove a Real Man's foot from his ass ....

[The empressof all]

25. Locking

To quote one of my fellow mods: "This is a huge dip in to sexism with a side dish of sex thread."