I have returned to civilization, and find it awkward

[jobycom]

I drove back to Austin from Gulfport last night. I took several backroads through Wiggins, Poplarville, Bougalousa and Franklinton.

After a week of no traffic lights, nighttime curfews, limited commerce, military presence, and pure devastation, hitting Amite, Louisiana was strange. The entire town was lit, and while there were still the occasional fallen tree and National Gaurd vehicle, it looked much like a real town. It took a few hours on I-10 before I realized I could just stop into any store along the highway and expect it to be open, to have gasoline, and to have a full selection of COLD beverages.

Now I'm back in Austin. It's a different world. I made it in early this morning, and realized after a while that I was still driving slowly and treating all intersections as four-way stops, even when the traffic lights were green.

And of course, even though I went to sleep after 4 AM, I still woke up with the son, and felt guilty that I wasn't outside cutting and hauling brush. And I felt sad that I couldn't go outside and look after the two German Shepards we had rescued from the sludge.

Worst part of all of it is that I think I will quickly grew used to this lifestyle again, and treat the other as the aberation. I'm not sure why that makes me sad. I know a lot of DUers like merh and Maddy are stuck in that world of shelters and MREs, still, and probably can't wait to get out, but I'm out, and I feel... I don't know how to explain it. Useless, maybe? Like there's a more important job than I'm doing, and I'm shirking it?

I don't know.

Anyone else use DU Lounge as a personal diary from time to time? :-)

[GOPisEvil]

1. I can't imagine the devastation.

You've done more than most, and as much as you could. No need in beating yourself up over not being able to do more.

[jobycom]

3. I'm not really beating myself up

I just felt like I belonged there, like I was connected to the place and doing what I needed to do. I've lived in Austin fourteen years, and I've never felt like that here. And I've never noticed before that I don't.

[GOPisEvil]

5. I understand...maybe that's a signal from...whereever those come from.

[jobycom]

6. I know, but my kids were raised here

And I don't want to haul them away from their home.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear jobycom....

Welcome home, my dear!

Of course you feel strange...transitions are always that way...and yours was an extreme one...

I believe that all sorts of people use the Lounge for personal diaries now and then....

You did a magnificent and heroic thing by going down to NO to help out...and you should be proud of that....

A soldier in an urban war...that's what you were....

Blessings on you for your work...let fall the torch....

Others are ready to take it up...you've done your part...


:patriot: :loveya:

[jobycom]

4. I didn't go to New Orleans, I went to Mississippi

It was very different damage. In Mississippi, there was a storm surge like a tsunami that obliterated the coastline, and then there was extensive wind damage inland. New Orleans had less wind damage, but had the levee break with the flood, and waters that didn't reside for days. And some that won't reside until it is pumped out.

My parents are in Gulfport, so that's where I was.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. OK, so I screwed up where you went...

So change the name of that, and the rest still stands...

At least in my mind, it does....

[merh]

8. I know that your parent's appreciated the help jobycom.

((((((((((( :hug: )))))))))))))))))

I know what you mean about growing used to a "lifestyle". I have limited access to the internet and air conditioning - when I come here, I sometimes forget what I have to leave to return to before curfew. I forget for a time that my life has changed so.

:loveya: :hug: Stay safe and thanks so much for helping as much as you have. :hug:

[jobycom]

9. Thanks

I saw the pictures of your house. Hope things get better.

[merh]

10. They can only go up - thanks for the good wishes

and thanks for caring so damned much! :hug:

[Lilyhoney]

11. jobycom,

Journals can be a great help. It is a form of cognitive therapy and everyone can use a little of that.

"Like there's a more important job than I'm doing, and I'm shirking it?"

I feel this way everyday. :shrug:

I am glad you made it out of there. :hi: