If vibrators also fired bullets, they'd be protected under 2nd Amendment

[Bucky]

In a discussion in GD about "sexual minority lifestyles" just now I found out that possession a/o sale of sexual toys is criminal in some states. Obviously this is a huge violation of the right to privacy which John Roberts doesn't think exists (which is crap since right to privacy is simply a logical corrollary to protections against unlawful search and seizure).

So I was thinking about this, and it occurred to me that if you want to legalize sex toys everywhere and extend to their owners the full constitutional protection to which they're due, all you really have to do is reengineer them a little bit so that vibrators, penis rings, and other snap-on implements of personal pleasure can also fire bullets. They don't have to be accurate and they don't even have to be loaded to then fully qualify for absolute protection under the Second Amendment.

Now you might be thinking that building sexual toys capable of being loaded with bullets and firing them might just lead to a few horrible, tragic deaths each year. But you know what? Caveat emptor, I say. We have numerous firearm related accidents in this country every year and nobody seems to mind. People just have to be careful, that's all. As Thomas Jefferson said, "Eternal vigilence is the price of liberty."

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

1. Nominated.

:thumbsup:

[Bucky]

5. Why thank you, Cyndee Lou. I'll return the favor and buy you a membership

... in the NVA, the new spin off group from the NRA that's concerned with this issue.

[Cronus Protagonist]

7. Prostittute shot by a dildo during sex

I can see the headlines now....

"A prostitute, trying to please a particular client by using a fully loaded dildo in the shape of Ron Jeremy's penis was accidentally shot in the fallopian tube when it went off unexpectedly...."

:)

[JVS]

2. If vibrators fired bullets, you'd see a shitload of lawsuits from people..

who injured themselves quite badly.

[short bus president]

3. not necessarily

they could be chambered for a new round that does not exist, and be made without firing pins. The upfront investment in product development is a bit more, but in the end isn't it the toy that keeps giving and giving? ;-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. And massive lawsuits filed by the victim's families against the sextoy

industry, just like the assholes who think they can sue S&W, etc., because someone ILLEGALLY used one of their products to kill someone else.

[MrBenchley]

13. Yeah, but since sex toys aren't lethal

it's only actual crime =victims who have been denied their day in court....

"the assholes who think they can sue S&W, etc., because someone ILLEGALLY used one of their products to kill someone else."
Which they ought to be able to....good thing corrupt Republicans stomped on that freedom.....NOT.

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. Obviously, we're talking about sex toys that WOULD BE lethal

since they can fire bullets. I should think that you, especially, would consider something that fires bullets to be a lethal device. I know I would.

[MrBenchley]

18. Gee, you mean you thought that was a serious proposal?

That IS fucked.

"I should think that you, especially, would consider something that fires bullets to be a lethal device."
Not only that, I think the corrupt industry that distributes things that fire bullets in such an irresponsible and dishonest manner ought to be sued out of existence.

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. Why would I think it was a serious proposal? Don't be a fuckwit.

The OP was rather obvious it wasn't a serious proposal.

Obviously I was playing along with the premise.

[MrBenchley]

25. You sure seem to act like it....

[Deja Q]

4. And let Lorena Bobbit remains free...

Oh well!

:wow:

:yoiks:

[Ladyhawk]

6. It would make for some interesting Darwin Awards. :D n/t

[mopinko]

8. yes!

let idiots them shoot themselves right in the means of genetic survival. humankind needs this idea.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

10. Kick for Mongo, DU's own Proud Purveyor of Smut...

:kick:

[anarch]

11. well, unless they had a "pistol grip" or a flash suppressor

then they'd be "assault vibrators" and I guess that would be bad....

[RetroLounge]

12. Would they come with Childproof Safety Locks?

:shrug:

RL

[Guy Fawkes]

14. About that...

In the mall here, we have a store called "Spencer's Gifts." The popular off-colour chain sells a large collection of joke items, including vibrators and other... toys. However, marketing the toys as "muscle massagers," the store gets away selling them not only in a public space -without a back room- but also to minors. A friend of mine quit when his boss forced him to ring up an 11 year-old girl with a vibrator.

[no name no slogan]

15. I believe they also sell "smoking implements"

or at least they used to when I was a kid.

[Omphaloskepsis]

16. Man...

This is soooo the topic of my next term paper in my argument and style class.

[-..__...]

21. I realize the OP is being sarcastic.

At least I hope so.

In reality any such device would be regulated by Federal law and subject to heavy restrictions, approval of the local Chief of Police and an intensive background check by the BATF.

The bullet dildo/cockring/butt plug would be classified as an AOW (Any Other Weapon), under the 1934 National Firearms Act... the same law that regulates machine guns, grenade launchers and short barreled shotguns.

While I like the idea of a .45 caliber-purple-headed-knobbed-gelatin double-dong, it just ain't gonna happen.

You might want to rethink the term paper thing.

[Omphaloskepsis]

23. I was making a funny..

[KittyWampus]

20. Bucky, this may be your million dollar idea!

GO FOR IT!

[LeftyMom]

22. That would be the coolest spy gadget ever nt

[sasquatch]

24. The Sheriff pulls out the toothpick and asks

"You got a permit for that dildo."

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

26. heeee

:rofl: