Has anyone ever worked with alcoholics?

[hyphenate]

I'm not talking about your average person who drinks a couple of beers or drinks on weekends or after work, though they could technically be alcoholics. I'm talking about people like my sister and my BIL who my mom adopted years ago--the kind who won't stop drinking even if they knew they would die tomorrow. The kind who are not ashamed of drinking, but are happily slipping into the oblivion of a dimension only seen through blurry eyes.

The kind who seem to fear reality and all that goes with it. The kind who, in past days, might have gone into a grocery store and drank all the vanilla extract for its alcohol content, but who now panhandle to get the cheapest beer out there simply to have liquor coating and corroding their stomachs. The kind who if you told them they were alcoholics would laugh in your face and say, "so what?" without blinking an eye. Those who won't apologize for it, those who would rather shun all of life simply to lose themselves into a bottle of booze that they know is someday going to kill them. Those who are addicted to that shit in so many ways that they would resent anyone who tried to take it away from them.

Are they completely lost causes? Or what level of hell do they need to visit to come back from the abyss? Why do so many families harbor them, enable them and protect them, even though they would sell their mother's teeth for a drink? People like my sister who robbed my mom blind several times, and who won't even go to see her when she's sick and weak and not well at all? Someone who would rather lie than tell the truth, that are all prepared to con someone--anyone--into giving them what they want.

Why are these people so selfish? Why do they have the maturity level of a 10 year old, where they are unable to function at a level where critical thinking is necessary, and when they need to be a grownup for awhile? And how do I convince my mom that until she gets rid of my sister--report her and press charges against her for the last theft she perpetrated--she will be forever dealing with a broken heart, and that there is nothing--absolutely NOTHING--anyone can do to straighten out my sister until she is so far gone that it won't matter anymore?

I think I know the answer, but I want to know why these people can go and ruin other peoples' lives, treating everyone around them like shit, and not giving a fuck about the consequences they are creating. I need to know if these people ever learn, or if they ever come to a point where, one way or another, they own up to their misdeeds and assume adult responsibility.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

1. Because alcohol is a drug.

Drug addiction can make people do horrible things to those that love them.
I've been through this with family members and it's not fun.
They are hard to help.

[radwriter0555]

2. First of all, addition to drugs and alchohol is a disease, and shouldn't

dismissed as simple bad behavior. (It also shouldn't be criminalized, but that's another Ophrah episode)

That being said, you could use some help in dealing with them, and learning how their behavior isn't your fault OR responsibility.

AA has meetings for the families and friends of alchoholics, and it's an amazing source of comfort and information. It doesn't have to be a lifetime committment, but sometimes, just knowing you're not alone and learning some tools for coping is a good thing.

You need to learn how to stop worrying about them, how to stop letting them bring you down to their level.. and it's not easy to do with people that you love... it's really, really hard.

Good luck, and use this here internet to seek out your information, try googling Adult Children of Alcoholic meeting (your town) and see what pops up. Also I'm sure you can find some great info in writing here... Big hugs.

[Greyhound]

3. Rarely. In my experience (I managed bars/lounges for about 8 years)

Even the one's that dry out usually turn into worthless sober assholes. Sorry
:shrug:

[WCGreen]

4. Yea, if your an ass hole going in....

You'll probably be an ass hole coming out....

I stopped drinking 22 years ago...

I was one step away from ending up under the high level brige.....

But I made it out cause I decided to make it out....

If they don't want to quit, they won't....

Nothing you can do about it...

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

5. I was fast turning into that person.

It took something amazing to turn me around.

But I did it. I haven't had so much as a sip of beer since 1982.