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Two -The Onion- articles that need a **WARNING**

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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:51 AM
Original message
Two -The Onion- articles that need a **WARNING**
Edited on Wed Sep-14-05 09:52 AM by underpants
The first one is the darkest of humor WARNING the second....absolutely hilarious but needs a VERY STRONG WARNING***@@*@*@*@!!!
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Halliburton Gets Contract To Pry Gold Fillings From New Orleans Corpses' Teeth
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40525
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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40532
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:53 AM
Response to Original message
1. The Onion is behind 'WebSense' here - what's the 2nd headline?
:)
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:55 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. PM'ing now
:bounce:
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:56 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. After seeing it, I only WISH it was behind Websense here
Ew :puke:
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
3. you actually did it
well, SORT of :D
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:57 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. Well all I have to say is

Mmmph, mmph, mmmmmph... MMPH! (gasp) MMPH! Mm-mmm-rrrrrr-nnnnn-mmmm-rrrumph oompth mmph rrrmmm-nnnn-OOF! (pant, pant!) OOF! Urrrrrgggghhh-gggrrgle oompth-mmph! MMMPH! MMMPTH! Brrr-oooooo-nnnn-yowww-rrrrrummmm-nummm.... Nnnnnph! NNNPH! NNNNNNNNPH! Oh God... MMMMMMMPH! (gasp!) (pant, pant, pant...) (gurgle!) MMMPH!

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jackelope72 Donating Member (726 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:58 AM
Response to Original message
6. BWAAAAHAAAAHAA! *snort*
Okay, how do you get Coke out of keyboard without ruining it? That second article...*snort*
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:02 AM
Response to Reply #6
10. _______has been a syndicated advice columnist since 1979.
has been a syndicated advice columnist since 1979. His column appears in over 250 papers nationwide.


at the bottom of the page. Funny I had never heard of him before.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 09:58 AM
Response to Original message
7. HA HA! Is the second headline also on the front page of the website?
or do I have to hunt around for it?
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. "hunt around for it" jane?
use the link or I can PM it to you
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #8
11. Oh I got it, thank you.
The link wasn't working right away on my cheap-ass computer but now it is.

Funny aside:
Back when I lived in Madison we used to watch the tours of potential students and their parents parade through campus and there was always one parent from out of state who'd pick up the Onion thinking it was a campus newspaper. They wouldn't look at it right away but after a moment or two we'd hear someone say "Oh my dear Lord!" from the general direction of the tour.

Suckers. :rofl:
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:10 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. They actually printed?
Oh that is right it started in Madison didn't it?

That is funny.

I had a friend who was recovering from a all night drinking binge at Radford (Va.) and he came out of the dining hall just as the potential parent tour was passing.

Guide:"And this is our dining hall. We will go inside and you can have lunch...

My buddy (friends watched from a distance) "GET OUT OF THE WAY!! (crash boom leans over bushes) :puke: (horrendous sounds) :puke: :puke::puke: (looks up at tour group) :puke::puke::puke:

true story, as I am told.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:13 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. Yep, and it's free in Wisconsin.
HA! Good story. It sounds like it came right out of PCU or Animal House!

Tormenting tour parents can be fun and rewarding, and I highly recommend it for bored people in search of safe hijinks.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. You can get The Onion here in Austin, too.
At Waterloo Records.

In Boulder, CO, there are little stands on the street where you can get it for free, too.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:25 AM
Response to Reply #14
19. Oh good. Some cities have them but charge $2.00 to get them.
One more reason Austin is great.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:27 AM
Response to Reply #19
20. I think you have to buy it here, too.
But Boulder's were free on the street.

So, we're not as cool as Boulder. ;)
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:39 AM
Response to Reply #20
21. Ah. Gotcha. ;) n/t
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. Nevermind, the second link finally worked on this damn computer
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:19 AM
Response to Original message
15. Oh. My. God.
:wow::rofl:
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SouthoftheBorderPaul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:19 AM
Response to Original message
16. Wow
:rofl:
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
17. Elf Finger Found In Box Of Keebler Cookies!!!!
:rofl:
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 11:03 AM
Response to Reply #17
23. They seemed to have taken it to another level
a lot more content too.
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
18. I went in yesterday to pick up my monthly fix of gardening mag
and glanced over at the Onion on the checkout stand and saw the Halliburton headline...for a split second-before I saw it was the Onion, I really thought it was true.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-05 10:49 AM
Response to Original message
22. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying
I can't even "roll on floor" I'm laughing so hard.
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