HELP! I have to rewrite a paper about another subject. I need help.

[Jamastiene]

Any DUers in the lounge right now who can satisfy a spoiled rotten english teacher? Please if you are here, ask me about meeting Joan Jett and try to see if you can trigger my memory. I gotta write about it in detail and I can't remember anything. It is a narrative paper.

This english teacher is hard to satisfy and I am tired of the "conferences" on my time. I've had one so far, but he wants to do another one. I tried using Mark Twain's style, but even that didn't please him. He scrapped my whole paper. I have to start over and have it done by Monday, but I have tons of things to do this weekend, none of them fun, btw.

He wants me to do the hourglass thing. Does anyone know anything about how to do that?

[NoSheep]

1. So where were you when you met Joan Jett and why would you want to

write about it?

[Jamastiene]

3. I don't. I wanted to write about my pets.

I'm trying my best to remember the details. What I do remember is that I wasn't old enough to be in the club (Cheers in Raleigh). I know I was 15 or 16. I remember it was MLK day and I remember the name of the restaurant where the band ate before the show. I remember not being able to get in at first, until my aunt did some tall begging. I was underage. I just can't remember whether it was 1986 or 1987. And I can't remember the name of the girl at school who told me about it.

On Edit:
I just looked up my older web page that I can't update. It says 1987, but it is a short little thing I wrote there. I gotta make this thing 3 pages long and 2 of those have to be the introduction paragraphs and the conclusion paragraphs.

[MissMarple]

5. He wants a page long paragraph?

Huh?

[Jamastiene]

8. I should explain that better. He wants the paper typed

in the double space format. The only paper I have gotten right yet was a descriptive paragraph and it was almost a page long. He said at least 6 sentences. He wants each paragraph to start with a topic sentence and end with a sentence that connects the paragraphs.

[MissMarple]

10. That is pretty standard.

:)

[Jamastiene]

12. I don't have a problem with it being double spaced. I can't seem

to figure out how to limit what I write to 2-3 pages at any time. Anyone who has read what I type when I visit DU knows I tend to enjoy saying stuff a lot. Stephen King calls it diarrhea of the typewriter. I remember reading that somewhere, but not exactly where. The things I can and cannot remember really surprises me sometimes.

[JohnnyBoots]

2. Use her lyrics and song titles as trigger points for the narrative, ie

"I threw another dime in the juke box and as I turned around...."...if you can't remember make it up.

[MissMarple]

4. Who else was there? Did you have a conversation with her?

What was she like? Is she personable, funny, serious, witty, self absorbed? Did she make eye contact, shake your hand? And what was she wearing? Is she relaxed, laid back, or nervous and jittery? Does she have character, depth? Did you get the impression she likes other people, is interested in them or is she more introspective, quiet? How did you feel, how did she make you feel?

Inquiring minds and all that....:)

He hasn't told you about the hour glass? I don't know either. So, google, we may have some writing instructors here who may be able to explain, as well. Good luck.

[MissMarple]

6. Here's a link for the hourglass model.

http://ec.hku.hk/acadgrammar/general/organize/hourglas.htm

I didn't really check it out, but it seems fairly straight forward.
And it sounds like you are writing an essay, not an investigative report.

And it looks as though this model is a gift. If you get it down, it will help you for a long time to come. I wish they had this in school when I was learning to write. I would be ever so much better.
:)

[Jamastiene]

11. Thanks. Maybe this example is better than the one in the textbook.

As much as I love to write, getting it right is hard for some odd reason. Thanks for the link. :loveya:

[Jamastiene]

7. He told us about the hourglass, but he wasn't satisfied with my

understanding of the shape of it. :shrug:

Joan Jett was everything I had hoped for and more. She was genuinely friendly. My aunt was there and Ricky Byrd, one of my most favorite guitarists, introduced me to her. She was left handed. I remember that and I remember that when I mentioned it to her, as if she didn't already know, she didn't laugh at me for stating the obvious. She said left handed people were creative and artistic. She made lots of eye contact. It was a precious moment. I never pay attention to clothes so I don't remember what she was wearing except black Reebok shoes and a blue denim jacket. For some odd reason, I remember the shoes and the jacket, but not the outfit. She made one of my biggest dreams come true. I wanted to meet her and she made it worth the wait.

[RagingInMiami]

9. Use your poetic license

And make up what you don't remember

[Jamastiene]

13. That's a good idea. I'll try that. Would I get in trouble if I mentioned

that it was on MLK day. The only way I can describe why it would be relevant is that I liked what he stood for too.

[MissMarple]

14. That's starting broad and then you narrow to Joan and then maybe you.

Do you think that what they stand for and how that relates to you is the main point? The rest is just window dressing, just organized and focused window dressing. Just don't over accessorize.


Good luck! Start writing. :hug:

[Jamastiene]

15. Thanks. I need some encouragement. I've been spread pretty thin lately.

I seem to have so little time and so much to do.

[victim]

16. ha

I suppose its becuase I slip in double entendres intentionally into things like this, just because the instructor never calls you on it, but this line struck me:

"She made one of my biggest dreams come true. I wanted to meet her and she made it worth the wait."

I should point out that waging this brand of psychological warfare forced me out of the English Department and into Mathematics of all things. No one ever calls you on something with a (more or less) innocuous interpretation in addition to a bawdy one because they are too busy being self-conscious debating whether they have just have a dirty mind or not. This works on even the most prudish of instructors although sometimes the subtlties of the word "come" are lost on them...

[neuvocat]

17. What was she wearing that day?

What did her hair look like? What color was it? How was her speaking voice? Did it smell funny at the place you met her?

Try to appeal to the reader's senses. Send me a PM if you need more help.

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. How did you feel before you met her - both about her, but also

the anticipation and waiting to meet her? (assumign you knew you were going to meet her). How was it standing in line or wherever you were?

How were you feeling when you spoke with her - nervous? Anxious? Excited? Ovewhelmed? Afraid? In awe? Happy? Overjoyed? Like throwing up? Like you weren't worthy?

What were the circumstance of you meeting? Why and how did you meet?

Anything funny happen while you were talking? Anything exciting?

How did you feel about her after you met her? How did you feel in general after meeting her, on your way home? In the days after? In the weeks, months, years after?


What was the weather? Time of year? What year? What day? What else happened that day? Who took you there? Who took you home? What were you reading before you met her? What did you wear? And with all these questions, also add "And why?"