Join the I Hate Jennifer Lopez Club!

[Writer]

Talentless. Large-assed. Narcissistic.

HEATHER McCartney has a prothestic limb, but J-Lo has a prosthetic everything else. :P :P :P

And she can't stop dreaming about... tacos!



Sincerely,

Writer
President
The I Hate Jennifer Lopez Club

edit to fix my horrid error

[maveric]

1. Linda Mc Cartney is dead. Has been for years now.

[Writer]

2. Oh .... ahhhh!!!

I certainly DID NOT mean to do that LOL!

How awful. I'm sorry. It's been fixed.

Please join!

Writer.

[TroubleMan]

3. That's not Jennifer Lopez....that's MITCH CONNER!!

nt.

[Writer]

4. Hmm... so you prefer thee beech with the beeg ass?

[TroubleMan]

7. To a little kid's hand.......hell yeah....I'm not the cartoon Ben Affleck

nt.

[Writer]

10. Ewwww. Ben Affleck spooge!

:puke: :puke: :puke:

[Spider Jerusalem]

5. Talentless, sure.

Nothing wrong with her backside, though. Curves and callipygian rondure are good things. Can I join the "I Hate Everything About Jennifer Lopez Except Her Ass" club instead? (You'd get more heterosexual male members this way, too. :D )

[Writer]

8. Bwah!

"Curves and callipygian rondure."

Damn, that's afficionado speak.

Mine are merely "pouty." For shame!

Okay - have your Club of Callipygian Rondure if you must! Bah!

[Spider Jerusalem]

11. "Pouty"?

Doesn't seem like the best adjective. "The little minx smiled seductively, and turned towards the bedroom, twitching her pouty little rump"...no, it doesn't really work, somehow.

[Writer]

17. Well, how about protruding?

Roundy?
Spherical?
British-scientists-base-their-geometric-calculations-upon-it?
Coin-bounceable?
Alert-and-attentive?

Eh? EH?

[Spider Jerusalem]

19. You really need more than one adjective for context.

Like "taut, ballerina-like musculature". Or "tight and sweetly curved, each buttock a perfect handful." Something like that. (More aficionado-speak for you. Hehe.)

[Writer]

24. Oooh. You have tempted me...

I could see her dish - two healthy spoonfuls of honey-coated goodness, a sweet helping of roundy handfuls that I nibbled peck by peck.

How about that?

It's hard for a heterosexual female to write like that, btw :crazy:

[Spider Jerusalem]

26. It's a great cereal commercial.

That was what you were going for, right? :D

[Writer]

28. Ha! Yeah that's right!

Move over, Colon Blow... it's J-Lo Blow!

[blackcatpgh]

6. that south park episode...

was on again last night! i had only heard about it. christ was that funny!

[Name removed]

12. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[blackcatpgh]

22. "If you pay, I'll take off my top."

fucking hilarious. cheers!

[Deja Q]

9. J-O is such a bore.

[xmas74]

13. I've been a charter member for years now.

[JimmyJazz]

14. Meh - I don't think enough of her to hate her.

Sorry. :)

[iconoclastic cat]

15. I thought that we were all *in* the club, and we had to opt-*out*...

[Writer]

20. All of us - ALL of us must band together to stop the onslaught

of Jennifer Lopez's music, acting, and rear cellulite cream.

[iconoclastic cat]

23. There goes my last lingering thread of heterosexuality.

[Writer]

32. Oh the humanity! n/t

[jobycom]

16. Wow, from your description, I love her! Besides, Democrats shouldn't

be about hate. We are about peace, love, the mighty ohm. Or is that the mighty O? Hm. I'll check back when I've worked it out.

[Writer]

18. No, it's about a woman with a Jello Butt.

J-el-Lo! :O

And NO talent!

[jobycom]

25. Oh. She's not bad.

O-verhyped, maybe. Anyone who sells that many records is.

[Writer]

29. Well here's her life!

I love you, Ben!

Marry me, Ben!

Don't marry me, Ben!

No, really, PLEASE marry me, Ben!

Okay, fine, let's not get married, Ben.

(1-2 months later) I love you, Marc!

Marry me, Marc!

Let's have a baby, Marc!

(Several months later) What! That chulo Ben is marrying ANOTHER Jennifer?

What! That chulo Ben is having a baby with ANOTHER Jennifer?

Que puta. Hand me some tacos!

[jobycom]

30. I think there's more to it than that

And what's with the taco thing? What does she have to do with tacos?

[Writer]

31. Well I guess you never watch South Park!

Hilarious lampoon of her and Ben Affleck in one episode.

Ref: The rest of this thread.

[yewberry]

21. Also the most frequent "person" listed on the shitty tipper database

at bitterwaitress.com.

Check out her antics...they're just about what you'd expect.

(Didn't know that servers keep and submit the names of the worst tippers they get? Now you do.)

[Momgonepostal]

41. I was going to mention this too...

I judge her more harshly for treating wait staff like crap and then leaving a 1 percent tip in small change than I do for any of the other stuff.

[yewberry]

42. Seriously, how someone treats service workers says a lot

She's a wretch, top to, uh, bottom.

[jeff30997]

27. I'm in !

I hate that pretentious bitch ! :grr: :nuke:

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. She's a worthless piece of shit who isn't even worth the time to hate.

And a skank.

[obxhead]

34. Best episode ever

Has me cracking up no matter how many times I've seen it.

[Skittles]

35. can you find a graphic of Affleck with the Lopez hand?

:D

[Writer]

37. Sorry, but this is the best I could find...

[edbermac]

36. I think she's nice eye candy...

And some guys do like a big shapely behind...

[Skittles]

39. I think a tiny waist can make an ass look huge too

indeed

[6000eliot]

38. Hate her!

[kwassa]

40. I like me some Jennifer Lopez

A talented comedienne and dancer, nice curvaceous butt, pretty, first superstar Hispanic presences, great role model for other minorities seeking success. She has maximized her gifts.

So what if she has no singing voice and lousy taste in men?

[Writer]

43. I don't think the word talented applies here

Comedienne? I didn't know that was in her reportoire of mediocre talent. Wow. And the woman can't act and sing.

She makes her living by what you see above. And that's only for particular tastes.

As far as being a role model for the Hispanic community? Pah-leeze. My Hispanic sister-in-law says, "Get out of my face, puta!"

And she's a narcissist who thinks she can marry her way up the star ladder. I'm glad Affleck dumped her for a real woman.

Where is Mitch Conner?

[cleofus1]

44. now i have to come to du

to hear racist crap...great...

[Writer]

45. Yeah, I know, man.

Making fun of a talentless woman who abuses waitstaff and has tried to marry her way up the star ladder is racist. Right.

[philosophie_en_rose]

46. what are you talking about?

:shrug:

[cleofus1]

48. the whole taco diatribe...

of course if you're white you may not get it...should we mock black women and make referances to watermelon...or asian women and talk about slanted vaginas? do you feel that would be appropriate here?

or should i ask why ugly women hate successfull attractive women? perhaps you should post a picture of yourself and we can judge? the whole...gosh why do you think i'm being racist...when you post something attacking a brown woman and sing the whole taco thing...albeit thru a third party cartoon...is blind whitism...and if you are a minority woman yourself you should be ashamed...

[Writer]

52. The whole taco diatribe is based on a South Park spoof.

Which attacks her personality. If you haven't seen it, the nuance of mentioning the spoof will fail you, including why they would even use tacos as a way of attacking J-Lo in the first place.

[progmom]

53. then why don't you try to explain it

:shrug:

[Writer]

56. Read.

http://home.arcor.de/pla-scripts/scripts-705.htm

[progmom]

59. you know what's interesting?

in the episode, kyle is calling racism. what you have done here is taken it out of context and celebrated the inherent racism in cartman's skit.

[philosophie_en_rose]

57. Slanted vaginas?

:shrug:

First of all, I didn't post anything in this thread but a response to you to specify what you were referring to. There are a lot of offensive things in South Park.

Don't you dare tell me that I should be ashamed of myself for "blind whitism."

Perpetuating stereotypes is wrong, but your condescending behavior and judgment of what "minority" women should feel is just as offensive.

[cleofus1]

60. that's so ignorant

you enjoy a post that mocks my heritage and you are offended? i try to use examples that illustrate my point of how offensive the taco thing is and you try to make out like i'm the one who is posting racial crap for amusment?

some one needs to pull their head out of their asses...

oh...and when you mock brown females by insinuating they taste like tacos...i will jump feet first in your ass...

[Politically_Wrong]

47. I hate her...but...

Baby got back...

[progmom]

49. WHAT THE FUCK?

Ok - I'm with you on bring disgusted by her use of fur in her clothing line. But this thread is SICK. You hate her because of her "jello butt"? You mock her heritage with a song about tacos? I'm sick to my stomach. You should be ashamed.

[Writer]

50. Wow. Gosh. I suppose you never watch Comedy Central. n/t

[progmom]

51. wow. gosh. i suppose you have no idea how racist you sound.

[Writer]

54. No, I don't. Because I'm not. It's just a spoof you haven't seen. n/t

[progmom]

58. this sounds like it comes from you, not Matt Stone & Trey Parker:

"I love you, Ben!

Marry me, Ben!

Don't marry me, Ben!

No, really, PLEASE marry me, Ben!

Okay, fine, let's not get married, Ben.

(1-2 months later) I love you, Marc!

Marry me, Marc!

Let's have a baby, Marc!

(Several months later) What! That chulo Ben is marrying ANOTHER Jennifer?

What! That chulo Ben is having a baby with ANOTHER Jennifer?

Que puta. Hand me some tacos!"

[cleofus1]

55. i expect a certain amount of racial bullshit

when i watch tv...i have turned off my cable...but when i come to du i hope that i will not find threads that mock my heratage...and then ask me to be a good sport about it...so do you think my mother or my sisters or my daughter taste like tacos?

[Writer]

61. Mr. Writer Responds

Mr. Writer here, I was born in Mexico and immigrated to the US. I find the song hillarious not because I am a self hating mexican but because I utterly despise Jennifer Lopez, who is the target of the stupid song(not because she is hispanic but because she has not musical talent and represents the values I despise), The entire south park episode was devoted to slaming "jlo" and I loved it.

[The empressof all]

62. locking

This has turned into something really ugly.

Here's my personal two cents on this. When you post stuff out of context of it's original format you run the risk of it being misinterpreted and or being offensive to others.

We can't be all knowing as to where stuff comes from or it's context.