Help need medical advice!

[El Fuego]

this morning when i woke up i discovered i had turned into a giant cockroach.

i just had this overwhelming urge to dash under the refrigerator, and now i've broken my left antenna. shit.

[BikeWriter]

1. WTF? Have you tried superglue? Duct tape?

[El Fuego]

15. yes i need duct tape

and now that i am a lower life form i have to change my party affiliation

[BikeWriter]

2. Locking. DU is not authorized to give medical advice to cockroaches.

:shrug:

[RagingInMiami]

3. Whatever you do, don't lie on your back

[El Fuego]

24. when that happens it will be all over

:cry:

[GOPisEvil]

4. For God's sake, turn off the lights.

[Richardo]

10. .

:rofl:

[BikeWriter]

23. Don't laugh Richardo, we're trying to help the poor man, uh, cockroach!

[El Fuego]

16. every time the lights are on i am compelled to run under the stove

[peacefreak]

5. The good news is

you will eat just about anything & will be able to survive nuclear holocaust.

[Shell Beau]

9. And can live over a week without the head, so

screw the antennae!!

[El Fuego]

25. i don't use my head much anyway

[jpgray]

6. Are you at least an anthropomorphic roach?

Or are you hunting and pecking right now?

[Richardo]

7. archy

Remember that from HS English? :shrug:

[El Fuego]

27. and mehitabel yes i remember

but i will not be waxing poetic because this totally sucks

[El Fuego]

26. i think i am anthropomorphic bug

it is a sad thing. i thought cher would be here since she said at the end it would be just her and cockroaches

[Thtwudbeme]

8. OK, so you woke up and you are a Conservative

Best thing to do is read some speeches by Bobby Kennedy, then meditate in front of a photo of MLK.

Good luck with that.

[El Fuego]

17. i am trying to register at free republic now

look for me as el cucaracha. as a lower life form i am naturally a right-winger

[BikeWriter]

11. Recommended thread for Greatest Page.

[Hugin]

12. Not to worry, it'll grow back...

Mine always do.

:hi:

[El Fuego]

28. thanks!

[Taverner]

13. Consult Franz Kafka

He knows a thing or two about sudden metamorpheses...

[atomic-fly]

14. Pull yourself together man and get to work.

[El Fuego]

19. damn that's harsh

just don't bring any raid

[caty]

18. Is having your antenna broken

causing you to walk in a circle? CALL 911!!!!!

[El Fuego]

21. yes!!!!

:cry: it's hard to work the phone :cry:

[FuzzySlippers]

20. Life's not worth living as a cockroach.

I suggest you squirt yourself with a giant can of Raid.

[El Fuego]

22. raid!!!!!!!!!

at least cher will be with me