"Footprints in the Sand" Fundie Allegory

[Taverner]

Besides being a bad allegory, let me dissect this un-biblical, fundie favorite that explicitly states that during our hardest times, we are not doing the hardest work but GOD is.

Right away this detracts and trivializes hardships that people go through. During trying times, one is still a weak worthless pile of goo, since GOD did all the work. Am I the only one to cry bullshit on this????

But yet if we sin, that's all OUR doing, right? If we jerk off to Melissa Rivers naked in curlers and a pink terrycloth bathrobe, that's ALL OUR OWN DOING.

Something good, however, we can't take any credit because that was ALL GOD's WORK!!!

[RevCheesehead]

1. Aww ... I just left this message in Matcom's post...

But here ya go:

BUTT PRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there were seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
Those prints are large and round and neat,
"But Lord, they are too big for feet."

"My child," He said in somber tones,
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt."

"Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

2. "Melissa Rivers naked in curlers and a pink terrycloth bathrobe"

Damn you! If I wake up at 3am screaming again, it's gonna be all your fault for giving me that visual...

RL

[Richardo]

3. I'm confused. Is it *you* or Melissa naked in curlers in a pink robe?

Either way, I'm leaving that one to you. :)

[matcom]

6. i am in fucking TEARS here

can't.stop.laughing.

[skygazer]

4. Hang on here

Is she naked or in a pink terrycloth bathrobe? Or is it YOU that's in the curlers and pink terrycloth? I'm having trouble with the imagery here...

[Taverner]

5. Oh shes in the terrycloth robe

But not for long

BABE I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!!