The one command Linux has to implement if it wants to be a serious OS:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

http://internet.ls-la.net/man-pages/flog.html

[billyskank]

1. Thanks Dirtbag!

:D

[Hugin]

2. OIC...

Screaming fast Windows(TM)(R)(C) doesn't need any help?

:sarcasm:

[Deja Q]

6. The Windows (TM)®© version already exists; lemme tell youse about it!!

It's an icon.

It's a one-click icon.

You click the icon.

Of course, things don't seem to get any faster so you click it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And now the system is running slower.

So you click it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And then you realize it's just another day on your winbloat machine!

[Hugin]

7. Ah, so you've encountered the new "MSSuperTurboGiddyup(TM)®©" app?

At least lab rats occasionally get a food pellet for banging
away at a lever.

Sheesh.

;)

[billyskank]

3. You still can't beat ed

ED(1) UNIX Programmer's Manual ED(1)

NAME
ed - text editor

SYNOPSIS
ed < - > < -x > < name >
DESCRIPTION
Ed is the standard text editor.
---

Computer Scientists love ed, not just because it comes first
alphabetically, but because it's the standard. Everyone else loves ed
because it's ED!

"Ed is the standard text editor."

And ed doesn't waste space on my Timex Sinclair. Just look:

-rwxr-xr-x 1 root 24 Oct 29 1929 /bin/ed
-rwxr-xr-t 4 root 1310720 Jan 1 1970 /usr/ucb/vi
-rwxr-xr-x 1 root 5.89824e37 Oct 22 1990 /usr/bin/emacs

Of course, on the system *I* administrate, vi is symlinked to ed.
Emacs has been replaced by a shell script which 1) Generates a syslog
message at level LOG_EMERG; 2) reduces the user's disk quota by 100K;
and 3) RUNS ED!!!!!!

"Ed is the standard text editor."

Let's look at a typical novice's session with the mighty ed:

golem$ ed

?
help
?
?
?
quit
?
exit
?
bye
?
hello?
?
eat flaming death
?
^C
?
^C
?
^D
?

---
Note the consistent user interface and error reportage. Ed is
generous enough to flag errors, yet prudent enough not to overwhelm
the novice with verbosity.

"Ed is the standard text editor."

Ed, the greatest WYGIWYG editor of all.

ED IS THE TRUE PATH TO NIRVANA! ED HAS BEEN THE CHOICE OF EDUCATED
AND IGNORANT ALIKE FOR CENTURIES! ED WILL NOT CORRUPT YOUR PRECIOUS
BODILY FLUIDS!! ED IS THE STANDARD TEXT EDITOR! ED MAKES THE SUN
SHINE AND THE BIRDS SING AND THE GRASS GREEN!!

When I use an editor, I don't want eight extra KILOBYTES of worthless
help screens and cursor positioning code! I just want an EDitor!!
Not a "viitor". Not a "emacsitor". Those aren't even WORDS!!!! ED!
ED! ED IS THE STANDARD!!!

TEXT EDITOR.

When IBM, in its ever-present omnipotence, needed to base their
"edlin" on a UNIX standard, did they mimic vi? No. Emacs? Surely
you jest. They chose the most karmic editor of all. The standard.

Ed is for those who can *remember* what they are working on. If you
are an idiot, you should use Emacs. If you are an Emacs, you should
not be vi. If you use ED, you are on THE PATH TO REDEMPTION. THE
SO-CALLED "VISUAL" EDITORS HAVE BEEN PLACED HERE BY ED TO TEMPT THE
FAITHLESS. DO NOT GIVE IN!!! THE MIGHTY ED HAS SPOKEN!!!

http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/ed.msg.html

[Hugin]

4. Brought to you by the same fine people who invented...

"The WRITE ONLY file system"

[billyskank]

5. It is said

that two famous things came out of Berkeley: LSD and Unix. That can't be a coincidence. :crazy:

[Hugin]

8. At least LSD has a predictable outcome...

LOL!