Scotland is the most violent country in the world??????

[caty]

I was planning on going to Scotland for a vacation, but now---I just don't know.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4257966.stm

[CitrusLib]

1. You have GOT to be kidding.

I visited Scotland in '98 and had a marvelous time. I'd go back in a heartbeat. Felt pretty safe the entire time I was there. It was drop dead gorgeous and everyone was so nice.

[caty]

10. That's why we want to go.

We're planning a driving tour to see the highlands among other places.

[CitrusLib]

17. One word.

GO.

My sig line photo...my Scottish clan crest. My heart is there. :-)

[Magrittes Pipe]

2. Oh, FFS. The Scots are only violent when they're drunk.

Oh, SHIT! :o

[trof]

3. No, that's the Irish.

The Scots get melancholy.

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Yeah, but they're always drunk!

Not as always drunk as the Irish - they have some kind of special gene, direct from God, that puts them above normal people - and they love to grease themselves down and wrestle naked, and then they attack.

[mwdem]

9. And I'm half Scotch & half Cherokee....

;-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. So you drink incessantly, but your body doesn't metabolize it at all well

Tough combination.

[mwdem]

15. I try not to drink that much, but, yes, bad combination...

could be good or bad genes, not my choice. We have to overcome things that we had no control over. Hey, but I look good!:P

[CitrusLib]

16. If you describe yourself as Scotch...

...you are NOT Scottish. ;-)

[mwdem]

18. whatever.....

[CitrusLib]

19. Didja happen to notice the wink?

You seem a bit testy. Too much scotch?

[mwdem]

20. Caught the wink, not testy....

bye..oh, never touch whiskey.;)

[pitohui]

26. sure she is, it's a regional thing

she's prob. scotch-irish, which sure as hell ain't irish

lots of part scotch-irish, part cherokee in the appalachian region, you'd be surprised

& they all say "scotch" not "scots," sorry

but the heritage is the hell-raisers from scotland who got chased into ireland then into pennsylvania then down south into western north carolina and the like

definitely from scotland if you go back far enough!

[jane_pippin]

11. Shhh! You're giving away all of our moves!

[HEyHEY]

4. Well, of course they are all that booze and tough culture

[Canadian Socialist]

5. Did you read the whole article?

1. Not the "most violent country in the world"; allegedly the most violent in the "developed world".
2. What did they consider violent? Bar room brawls?
Just sayin'
check everything out. If you look at statistics, then Canada could be considered more violent then the U.S. It's a matter of how the stats are collected and how they are assigned.

[smirkymonkey]

23. Yes, because they are constantly declaring pre-emptive war on

other nations.

Oh, wait... that's not Scotland. Never mind.

[Zomby Woof]

6. If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!

Stuart Rankin: Welcome to All Things Scottish - if it's not Scottish, it's craaaapp!! Can I help ye?

Customer #1: Yeah, I'd like a poster of the guy who played Scotty on "Star Trek", have you got that?

Stuart Rankin: Oh, aye. James Doogan, yeah, right there. < grabs poster > That'll be $7.42, please. < goes to register > Ah, the machine doesn't work, I'll have to pay you back later..

Customer #1: Okay.. sure. < exits >

Stuart Rankin: Rodney!! Rodney!! Get out here, and bring some more Scotty posters, would ye?!

Rodney: < enters from back room > Man, Stuart, why don't you chill, man?

Stuart Rankin: Oh.. I'll chill you in a second! Alright, go and sort out those shortbreads, would ye? Alrighty. Rodney?

Rodney: What's up, man?

Stuart Rankin: Ah, I have a question for ye - are you wearing underwear under that kilt?

Rodney: What? Yeah, of course I'm wearing underwear!

Stuart Rankin: Oh, no, no, no.. you shouldn't wear underwear under that kilt. A real man doesn't wear insurance.

Rodney: Yeah, well, a real man doesn't wear a kilt.

Stuart Rankin: < chuckling > Ohhh-ho-ho, oh how very clever! But I don't know why you'd say something like that, knowing that I might come after you with butchering tools! < they raise their fists, as Customer #2 enters > You're lucky! < returns to the counter > Welcome to All Things Scottish - if it's not Scottish, it's craaaapp!! Can I help ye?

Customer #2: Uh, yeah.. a friend of mine's Scottish, and he's getting married, so I gotta buy a kilt.

Stuart Rankin: Well, you've come to the right store.

Customer #2: Now, the kilts you have are 100% Scotch kilts, correct?

Stuart Rankin: Well, actually, that's Scots kilt. Scotch is a drink; Scots are a people. But we're both great-tasting!

Customer #2: < smiles uncomfortably > Alright.. now in Scotland, do men wear kilts all the time?

Stuart Rankin: Oh, aye. It's a very manly garb.

Customer #2: Yeah, but I like it, too! < laughs >

Stuart Rankin: Come again?

Customer #2: You know what I'm talking about - < in funny voice > ..cartoon stars, clovers!

Stuart Rankin: Oh, aye.. except, what you're talking about is Irish.. and I am, in fact, Scottish. Now, GET OUT!! GET OUT, Mr. No Can Tell The Difference Between Scotland And Ireland!! < Customer #2 flees quickly > I'll be in the back!

< Ronnie Rankin enters the store >

Rodney: Hi. Welcome to All Things Scottish - if it's not Scottish, it's crap! Can I help you?

Ronnie Rankin: Does a Mr. Stuart Rankin work here?

Rodney: Uh, yeah, he's in the back. Who should I say is here?

Ronnie Rankin: Tell him it's his brother Ronnie from Glasgow.

Rodney: Uh, Stuart, you're brother's here!

Stuart Rankin: < steps out with arms crossed > What are you wanting?

Ronnie Rankin: Oh, I came to say Sorry.

Stuart Rankin: Oh, aye, you're sorry, are ye, after all these years?

Ronnie Rankin: Are you going to accept my apology, Stuart?

Stuart Rankin: Now, why should I accept the apology of a crazy bastard like YOU, you JERK?!!

< they raise their fists >

Ronnie Rankin: Well, just remember this crazy little bastard's the only brother you've got!

Stuart Rankin: < lowers fist > Aw, that's not fair.. I love you!

Ronnie Rankin: I love you, you bastard!

Stuart Rankin: I love you, you bastard!

Ronnie Rankin: Come on, let's have a drink!

Stuart Rankin: Come again?

Ronnie Rankin: Let's break up a little whiskey, and have a drink.

Stuart Rankin: That's it, I'll KILL you!

Rodney: Come on, Stuart, come on, man, he's your brother, he just wants to have a drink!

Stuart Rankin: Mind your own business, Rodney, you don't know the whole story! Have a look at this! < reveals scar across his back >

Rodney: Oh, man.. that's a nasty scar, what did he, cut you?

Stuart Rankin: No, it's a surgery scar. I, uh, gave him one of my kidneys.

Rodney: And?

Stuart Rankin: And.. he drinks like a fish! He's always piss-steaming drunk! He's gonna ruin my kidney!

Ronnie Rankin: It's my kidney now, you bastard!

< they raise their fists again >

Stuart Rankin: What if I take it back?!

Ronnie Rankin: What if I smash a brick in your face, you bloody little bugger?

Stuart Rankin: Rodney! Rodney, get my butchering tools, I'm gonna defloor him like a shag pile!

Ronnie Rankin: I hope you've got a thirsty mouth, laddie, because this is gonna be a mudbath!

Stuart Rankin: You're a dead man!

Ronnie Rankin: That's not a nice way to speak to your only.. brother.

Stuart Rankin: < lowers fist > Aw, that's not fair.. I love you!

Ronnie Rankin: I love you!

Stuart Rankin: I love you so much, it hurts!!

Stuart Rankin: I love you! Just like the movie "Ghost"?. Alright.. perhaps you can have a wee taste of Scotch, it's not gonna hurt my kidney too much.. < pours some Scotch into two shot glasses >

Ronnie Rankin: Well, give me a wee bit more Scotch than that..

Stuart Rankin: < raises fist > That's it! That kidney is mine!

Ronnie Rankin: It's not, you Indian giver, it's my kidney, and I've been looking after it just fine, thank you!

Stuart Rankin: Oh, do you think I'm stupid? I bet by now my kidney's so abused, it's starting to look like Sputnik!

Ronnie Rankin: Shut your guff, you wee little girl!

Stuart Rankin: Oh, that's it! One laser incision in the small of your back, and away we go, Mr. Kidney!

Ronnie Rankin: Oh, yeah? I'll kick you so hard in the groonies, you'll be peeing out your mouth!

Stuart Rankin: Well, at least I've got groonies!

Ronnie Rankin: Oh, yeah? Well, at least I've got a brother!

Stuart Rankin: < lowers fist > Aw, no fair.. I love you!

Ronnie Rankin: I love you!

Stuart Rankin: I love you!

Ronnie Rankin: I love you!

Stuart Rankin: I love you!

< Customer #2 enters >

Welcome to All Things Scottish - if it's not Scottish, it's craaaapp!! Can I help ye?

Customer #3: Um.. do you have family tartans?

Stuart Rankin: Oh, aye, we do, yes. And, what's your family's name?

Customer #3: Grotowsky?

Stuart Rankin: Growtowsky? Oh, the Growtowsky tartan.. from the Voyeur Hojets klan of tartans, I suppose? Now, GET OUT!! GET OUT, Mrs. No Can Understand Her Own Ethnic Background!! GET OUT!! < she runs out >

Ronnie Rankin: I love you!

Stuart Rankin: I love you! Come on, let's have a drink now!

< fade out on Stuart and Ronnie finally having their drink together >

[jane_pippin]

14. Oh sweet baby jesus!

:rofl:

I had forgotten all about that! AHahaha! It's all true.

My Grandma, the sweetest nicest tiny grandma, who would call "hell" the "h-word" and then feel guilty for saying the words, "the h-word," would get all kinds of pissed off whenever people called Scots "Scotch" and confused Scottish heritage with Irish.
She'd get so mad and indignant. It was hilarious.

[smirkymonkey]

25. I loved that skit!

They also did one about porcelain Scotty Dogs:

"We have wee, not so wee, and FUCKING HUGE!"

[dolo amber]

7. The best part is, in order to curb this trend

the authorities are seriously considering reforming the drinking laws.

Yeah, that's the way to placate a violent Scotsman...take away his booze. :rofl:

[no name no slogan]

12. Damn, those really ARE fighting words

speaking as somebody who traces 1/4 of his blood to Scotland, I have to say that there are BETTER ways to curb violence than to take away a Scotsman's drink.

[CanuckAmok]

21. Wow, I bet Ireland is pissed off!

I hope they fight about it.

[Elidor]

22. It's just a little nick, fer fuck's sake

A few stitches and back to the street before the pubs close.

[pitohui]

24. sez them EOM

.

[NV Whino]

27. It can no' be.

The Scots are the nicest people in the world. Go to Scotland. You will love it. Watch the heather change color. Count the sheep (be careful driving on country roads--no fences). Check out Nessie. Drink some very fine beer. Drink some even finer whisky. (Don't ask for Scotch, ask for whisky in Scotland.) Don't book ahead. Just drive. There's always a wonderful B&B where ever you go. Don't worry about getting lost, every road goes somewhere.

[caty]

28. We're going with

some friends who have done this drive before. They say they know all the cool places.