How do you break up with your significant other?

[Deja Q]

I'm right for him, I believe.

But I also know he's not right for me. I can be too abrasive with my wording and insensitive (not deliberately, this goes back to the Asperger's).

I've also been noticing hints that he isn't as enamored as he used to be. The last few times with people he seems to be skirting around the parts of phrases involving us as a couple, just "he". And when talking with friends, they seem to ask a question and he says yes and that he'll call them back.

Never mind the one time a month ago he asked about what I was going to do for an upcoming holiday and then said to take nothing of (or not look into) his question.

Of course, I know of 4 family issues he's struggling with right now so maybe I'm mixing things up.

I'd rather not end things. But I suspect he is going to want to and, my personality aside, he's got kids and while I've kept a line of non-interference/uninvolvement, I think he has kept the line at the same level and not wanting me to get involved. (meaning every time they're around, I'm utterly awkward and not knowing WHAT to do, how to act, how to interact.) And I'm not comfortable with children anyway so I may as well not bother.

[WePurrsevere]

1. IME tell him basically what you said here. Honest communication is the key

Even if you find that you are not meant to be together as lovers, by being honest about your feelings and concerns you're honoring him as a person you care enough about to be honest with. B-)

JMHO YMMV
(Good luck)

[WCGreen]

4. That is like the best advise to give......

[UTUSN]

2. Sometimes for Good, Sometimes They Don't Let Go n/t

[mykpart]

3. Slip out the back, Jack

Make a new plan, Stan, don't need to be coy, Roy, get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much, just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.

[Floogeldy]

5. I just disappear.

Simple.

[Z_I_Peevey]

6. Well...

another of my ex's exes shot him. That pretty much ended the relationship.

I don't recommend it, though.

[radwriter0555]

7. You could try talking to him to see what he has to say.

Just start a conversation without any pre-conceived notions about the outcome, or what you want to say. Listen to what he's got going on.

[Deja Q]

8. I like your response the best.(though the others were not disinteresting!)

Thanks much!

[RedCloud]

9. You can't force people to be with you, if they don't want to.

If the SO has not yet told you at this late date that you are right for him, then it is not in his mindset.

I would say just stay cool, aloof and do nothing. Then if your SO, doesn't even care enough to find out why, you will have your answer.

[El Fuego]

10. No one's going to act totally enamored forever

The initial giddy-in-love phase always wears off a bit. So maybe your relationship is at the crossroads. Which is to say it could either go to next level, or it just ends.

It sounds like you want to do a pre-emptive breakup. You might wind up making yourself really unhappy.