The topic is English Grammar

[hyphenate]

and as I feel up to it, I will be posting a very short lesson as often as once a day, or as infrequently as whenever I remember to do so.

Lesson #1

When using conditional verbs, the verb in the subjunctive phrase is WERE, not WAS.

Spot the bad grammar:

I wish I was a king.

I wish I were a writer.

He wishes he were far away from here.

If I were her, I'd be loaded by now.

Simple and to the point: follow "if" and "wish" with "were" and you will be a better writer.

Next lesson: the subject of "it is" versus the possessive noun.

[Ksec]

1. God knows I need help over here.

Ill be reading.

Thanks.

[rug]

2. I can't wait until you get to semicolons.

:woohoo:

[mykpart]

3. If I were SHE, I'd be loaded by now.

"She" is the predicate nominative, thus nominative case.

[deadparrot]

4. Honestly, I don't get what's so hard to understand about its/it's.

If you mean to say "it is," the contraction is "it's."

Using it in the posessive, etc., is simply "its."

[trackfan]

5. Someone who didn't know the particular rule

but did understand logic, might actually get it wrong, while being logically consistent.

cat's = of the cat
dog's = of the dog

so they might extrapolate

it's = of it

instead of it's = it is

[deadparrot]

9. Right, and that's what I assume happens.

But I was taught that exception, and it always stood out for some reason. It probably doesn't for most people, but it never confused me like that. :shrug:

[BrewerJohn]

39. It is logical though

The logic is just more subtle.

Nouns get the apostrophe. Pronouns do not.

His, hers, theirs, its.

[AirmensMom]

26. Exactly ...

It's amazing how many people get it wrong.

[CanuckAmok]

6. The Telus (BC phone company) voice mail is gramatically incorrect...

...and it drive me insane.

The message is: "blah blah blah, if you'd like to leave a number where you can be reached at, please enter it now..."

[fudge stripe cookays]

19. Argh! That drives me crazy.

Reminds me of the joke about the hick visiting the Harvard campus.

Stopping a local on campus, the hick says "Scuse me! Could you tell me where the library is at?"

Local says (with WASPY lockjaw, of course...), "Here at Harvard, we don't end our sentences with a preposition."

"Alright. Scuse me. Could you tell me where the library is at, asshole?"

FSC

[LouisianaLiberal]

7. The use of the subjunctive is indeed disappearing.

My current pet peeve: the use of "impact" as a transitive verb.

[bridgit]

8. Sidney Wang: "Yes, is confusing."

Lionel Twain: "IT! IT is confusing! Say your goddamn pronouns!"

[fudge stripe cookays]

20. I love you bridgit!

The only other person here on DU I have seen quote Murder By Death! One of my favorite movies. :applause:

"Look! Voice come from cow on wall!"

"Moose! Moose, you imbecile! Say your goddamned prepositions and pronouns!"

[bridgit]

22. 2 phunny, 1 of my fav'z too...

22 twain :rofl:

[fudge stripe cookays]

33. Hee hee!

"I would like a cold compress for my chauffeur and a cup of hot chocolate for me, n'est ce pas?"

"I don't think we have n'est ce pas, sir. Just Hershey's."

:D
FSC

[bridgit]

36. bwahaha...

:rofl: again, i wub dat pic :hi:

[Tyrone Slothrop]

24. "Calm yourself."

"Man who argues with cow on wall is like train without wheels: very soon get nowhere."

[fudge stripe cookays]

32. You too, Tyrone!

"I think the butler is dead! My name is Yetta. I don't work Thursdays!" :D

FSC

[GoddessOfGuinness]

10. Is Grampar English too?

Sorry...
It's late.

[hfojvt]

11. "I were" and "he were" is never gonna sound right to me

i ain't gotta follow no rules nohow, 'cause everybody know that smokin' ain't allowed in school. Its a freedom thing.
Subjunctive? WTF is a subjunctive? You mean the regular junctive is out sick?

[chknltl]

12. For us mor-ans out there.....

...could you include a recommended grammar link, perhaps add one to your sig. line. I would most certainly bookmark that and refer to it periodically.

[RebelOne]

15. Here is an excellent resource for grammar

I am a copy editor and I refer to this site constantly. In fact, I printed out the entire Style Manual.

http://garbl.home.comcast.net/writing/

[chknltl]

17. That is a perfect link!

Thank you very much RebelOne, this is exactly what I was hoping for and then some! I have bookmarked this thread and added that link to my "Favorites" list. :toast:

[hyphenate]

38. Great site! eom

[yowzayowzayowza]

13. This is a test...

http://jcomm.uoregon.edu/~russial/grammar/grambo.html

[billyskank]

14. I prefer to say

"Would that I could be her; yea, I would be so loaded by now." ;)

[oneighty]

16. Grammar

The English language is astoundingly
Difficult for a poet like me
And it is not fair it seems to me
That I must cope with this atrocity.

With verbs and nouns and adjectives
And dangling participles
Past and present and future words
It angers me, no end it does.

And so begins my original poem concerning grammar police. The poem was destroyed in a fire. Some people remarked "And that was/is/were a very good thing."

180

[Left_Winger]

18. Right on!

[Gormy Cuss]

21. If I were you

I would not discuss the Cousin It problem. The use of an apostrophe in the possessive noun is more common now than the correct version.

I've been "corrected" for using the subjunctive. My grammar and writing skills were much better before I joined the business world.

[hyphenate]

41. I noticed how bad the "it" problem is

and that's the problem. Even if I can convert just one person, it will be worth it! :)

[Gormy Cuss]

43. Okay, choose your own poison.

Whatever. I told you, don't go there. It's a 24/7/365 mission your embarking on.


n.b. the ghosts of English teachers past will smite me for the above message.:P

[hyphenate]

44. Yes

and from this day forward, those of us who fight the good fight will no longer be derided as "grammar nazis" but held in high regard as full fledged "grammar crusaders"!

BTW, that should be "you're" not "your." I'm concentrating on homophones tonight. You might want to drop in. :P

[Gormy Cuss]

45. Silly hyphenate.

I did that on purpose. I would have made more errors (such as 'would of') but it hurts my brain to think that way.

I can't wait for the homophone post. I will follow you, Grammar Crusader!
:D

[darkism]

23. Oh man, ignorance of the subjunctive is my biggest grammar peeve too.

Followed by its/it's and your/you're. When it comes to spelling, I can't see how SO many people can mistake lose/loose.

Yes, I'm quite the grammarian. I've even been "corrected" by three different people who wouldn't believe that "grammarian" was a word until I showed it to them in the dictionary!

[RebelOne]

25. There's even a book, which I have, titled

"The Grouchy Grammarian."

[jus_the_facts]

27. I'm usually not a grammar nazi..BUT as o'late..the misuse of THEN and THAN

....has been drivin' me NUTS! x(

[Pithlet]

28. Grammar mistakes on DU don't bother me much anymore

I know the rules regarding 'it's' and 'its', and 'then' and 'than'. But, I type very fast, and I'm often typing the words as I'm thinking them. An occasional incorrect 'it's', 'yours' or 'than' will occasionally come out, and nothing irritates me more than to have that pointed out to me as if I were ignorant of the rule. It's just a damn typo. Unless the person repeatedly commits the same mistake, I just assume it's a typo. I just don't pay attention to usage with quite the same scrutiny as, say, a LTTE or term paper. I don't mind general threads educating proper grammar,like this one, but it does bother me to see people point out grammar and spelling mistakes in a person's post.

[LouisianaLiberal]

29. Has anyone read The Underground Grammarian?

It was a series of small pamphlets written by an English prof at Glassboro (sp?) state college. In each addition he printed legal briefs, education mumbo-jumbo, and other official docs and then ripped them to shreds. It was hilarious.

I think the author died recently, but they are all worth reading.

[anarch]

31. What about "Conan the Grammarian"?

"If you split an infinitif, I vill split you in haff. Dangle a participle, and I vill cut it off."

[RebelOne]

47. No, but I have "The Grouchy Grammarian,"

by Thomas Parrish.

[LouisianaLiberal]

30. Dupe

.

[Meatwad]

34. Ain't we being a bit picky?

[hyphenate]

40. Nope!

The English language is falling apart even as we speak! While its use in the classroom stays fairly well contained, within 50 years the language we know outside the classroom will be so different, that what we have now will be akin to the Old English from the Canterbury Tales.

We need to all do our part to bring grammar back to acceptability.

If someone doesn't care, they don't have to pay attention, anyhow! To each his or her own. :)

[Terran]

35. Subjunctive is going the way of the dinosaurs, I think

Hardly anyone even knows what it is, much less uses it correctly. Pity...but then, language does change, if not always for the better.

[displacedtexan]

37. When using the subjunctive, "if" is redundant...

And it's "she," not "her."

"Were I she, I'd be loaded by now."

[Az]

42. Sux Syntax!!!

FnorD!!!

[Zomby Woof]

46. While we're at it...

People should learn the difference between:

Your/You're

Their/There/They're

Then/Than


And people who use "prolly" instead of "probably" should be shot.

Same goes for "w00t!"

And "a lot" is TWO words. :argh:


My number one pet grammar peeve of ALL time is the continued abuse of the apostrophe. I can't go into examples, lest my head will explode.

[hyphenate]

48. Then watch for the lesson tonight

on that very subject!!! (Yes, three exclamation marks are overkill, I know)