Best non-sequitur overheard ever?

[Bossy Monkey]

Our submission occurred last Thursday at lunchtime at the Five Spices in Burlington VT. (We were up there for a wedding.) A couple of personages at the next table were conducting a conversation very loudly. I somehow was able for once to block them out, but Alice says one of them chimed in with: "Although I continued to see her socially from time to time, we never talked about dentistry again." We felt like we were in a New Yorker cartoon.

Ok, top that!

[MountainLaurel]

1. "For the last time Sarah,

I am NOT an alien."

A conversation between two six-year-olds in Virginia Beach several years ago. I'd always wondered what the other one did that had Sarah thinking she was an extraterrestrial.

[SocratesInSpirit]

24. Funny you should say that...

My first name is Sarah, and several years ago my family would holiday in VA Beach every June...and I can totally see myself having been in that conversation. :yoiks:

[bmbmd]

2. Not exactly non-sequitur

but the great Johnnie Carson once asked "Is that the banjo player's Porsche?"

[bbernardini]

3. "Christ, I wish I had a fireplace big enough to roast an ox in."

Overheard at a local dive bar I like to stop at with my gym teacher friend. That was the line spoken right when the song on the jukebox finished.

[bbernardini]

4. "We saw Bobby Vinton, and he put on a hell of a show."

I believe I caught this snippet while waiting for a Mary Chapin Carpenter show to begin.

[ghostsofgiants]

5. It wasn't overheard, but...

I was out with some friends one night and they were pretty high. One of them did something and said "Ah, fiddle sticks," and the other one replied "Fiddlin' Giovanni Ribisi." Quite possibly the greatest phrase I have ever heard uttered in my life.

[mainegreen]

6. *snort*

Coffee out my nose AGAIN dammit! Quit doing that! At least wait until I'm done with my coffee!

:P

[ghostsofgiants]

8. Haha, I can't help it!

That night had a few amusing moments. Good times. Good times.

[WCGreen]

18. You can go to jail for that in 16 states....

[ghostsofgiants]

19. Haha!

Lucky for my friend we're not in any of those states.

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. If it wasn't for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college

[Zomby Woof]

12. Dammit!

I was going to post that!

Guess I better head to the IHOP to try and hear another one!

[lildreamer316]

15. Lewis Black

Classic line.

[EstimatedProphet]

16. That was a great routine of his

Funny every time I see it

[myrna minx]

9. I was at Lyle's, a local dive bar in Minneapolis,

when "Captain Morgan" and some scantily clad "lady" pirates came to give away key chains and other swag. Well, this drunken woman props herself up by the restroom door frame and speaks to HERSELF in a hushed tone "That was the fucking CAPTAIN!" She was awed by the experience. It was the kind of reaction that one would have if the met Nelson Mandella, not some guy dressed in a pirate costume. It was one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life.

[Barad Simith]

10. God, that's good

Thank you

[XNASA]

11. "Did you bring your lunch, or did you drive?"

"Did you come alone, or did you bring some beer?"

Those are the 2 standards my friends and I use from time to time.

[comsymp]

14. Funny - years ago, a friend of mine used to say something quite similar

In response to any dumbass question, she would ask "do you walk to school or do you carry your lunch?"

OR

"Let me ask you this: did you poot?"

[Tafiti]

13. Not sure if this really qualifies, but...

...in college, we would write down funny shit people said when we were wasted (or what-have-you) on Post-It notes, and tape them to the oustide of our door. It was filled, but the best one was the following, by my roommate (and this is literally verbatim):

"...you see, the peanut butter gets stuck in an area of their mouths they cannot reach. Therefore, I surmise that, dictated through the bone structure of course, this is the howling mechanism."

[lildreamer316]

17. Not the best; but funny:

"So I said to myself: Self,........"

[ucmike]

20. overheard in a diner somewhere in nj

we were having some late night dinner across the dining room from some drunken college chicks. they were loud, but not enough that you could follow the conversations. there was a lull in the conversation and one of them blurted out "stop fooling around back there and stick it in my a**!"

i nearly choked on my sandwich. she never realized that the entire place heard what she said and just went back to her conversation.

[Arugula Latte]

21. Overheard in Wash. DC library in the early '90s by my spouse:

Guy (on payphone): "I did NOT call you a crack-head bitch!"

[Arugula Latte]

22. Okay that wasn't a non-sequitur but it's a funny overheard comment. nt

[skygazer]

23. Just today - walked into the back room office at the store

Two women talking and one of them was saying, "... yeah, she's going for the consult today. Personally, I hope she falls on it and bursts one side so she's got a lopsided ass."

I didn't ask.