Good Christian Republican Parenting

[renie408]

I am not sure that this is the exact place to do this, but I have drawn some parallels between a problem I have had with the mother of some friends of my kids and the fact that she is a Republican. The back story is that these people moved near us about 18 months ago and have a ten year old daughter and a thirteen year old son. We have a nine year old daughter and a fourteen year old son. The kids became friends. For over a year now, I have picked their daughter up when I pick up mine and have brought her back to my house and kept her until the mother gets off from work. I offered to do this because they were leaving her at home alone for the two hours between when she got home and the son got home. Her mother is a freeper, but I have managed to avoid discussing politics and allowed the kids to just be kids and play. Over the summer, I began to notice some REALLY weird stuff. First, the thirteen year old son has his fourteen year old girlfriend over to spend the night or is at her house to spend the night just about every weekend. They are allowed to sleep on the sofa downstairs in the den together. Alone. While everyone else has gone to bed. Then, the last time my daughter spent the night, the father got into a fight with the son and chased him down the street. He didn't catch him and the son came back not to long after and they all sat down to dinner like nothing had happened. Then this past Saturday, we reluctantly allowed our daughter to go over there again. The mom had also invited several other kids and needed to go out, so she packed six kids and herself into her five passenger Hyundai Santa Fe and off she went. My daughter explained that she was not allowed to ride in the front seat with the airbag, so she got to ride IN THE HATCHBACK WITH NO SEATBELT. Because of course, being thrown out of the back to her death would bother me less than having her neck broken. I confronted the mother and said that this bothered me deeply and that I was sorry, but after everything that had happened, my kids would not be allowed to come to her house. She just sent me this email (I changed all the names to generic pronouns, so it might be hard to follow):

>>I want to apologize again for Saturday and I understand that your daughter can no longer spend the night, ride with me or in any other way be in my care and I respect your wishes. We can sever all ties if that is what you think is best….but you know in your heart that I would never put either of your girls in danger.



My brother called yesterday morning with an emergency…he was going out of town and his wife had gotten called in to the hospital due to some patient issues with their pacemakers. He needed me to pick up my nephew from his football game by 9:30. I told him my situation with children and cars and we talked about it and made a conscious decision to go backroads so there wouldn’t be traffic…especially that early in the morning. My other nephew was running to the car but my daughter and her friend beat him to the back. Your daughter was asked by the girls to get in the back seat but insisted she sit in the back too. My nephew, being the polite child that he is, let them have a “turn”. We went Doby Bridge across Kimbrell and down a block on 160 to the Fort Mill Middle School to pick up my other nephew.



My nephews rode in the back to Bojangles and home. Your daughter rode in the back from my house to your house to bring the girls home after your husband called.



As much as I love your daughter and her friend they couldn’t have been in a safer vehicle because I had MY daughter and 3 nephews with me…4 out of 5 of the most precious people in my life. If we had thought there would be any danger to any of our children Scott would have cancelled his trip out of town. I have successfully maneuvered I-77 and downtown Charlotte traffic during rush hour for the past 25 years without incident – Saturday morning in Indian Land was barren.



I want to make sure you clearly understand that I never “told” the girls they had to ride in the back. There were seats with seat belts available at all times for them. If I had known you felt that strongly I would have insisted they ride in the back seat…and wish your daughter had told me that was her rule.<<

First, let me say that the only thing she apologized for was my being upset. Second, both the girls that were not hers told her they were not allowed to ride in the front with the airbag. Third, there have been two other times when I have stated in no uncertain terms that I did not think it was safe to have kids in the back and have driven my kids myself so that no one would have to ride there. Fourth, my husband was home the whole time and we live less than 1/2 a mile away from them. Lastly...I only have one daughter.


OK..the political moral to this whole thing is that Republicans really ARE crazy. They really can convince themselves of things like "we shouldn't point fingers" and "we went to war because we had been attacked on 9/11" and "If I have people I love in the car and drive safely, it is inconceivable that I could be in a car wreck and therefore everyone with me is safe."

After receiving the email, I called her and told her that part of the reason I was not allowing the kids to go back over there was the situation with the girlfriend and that I didn't want my kids to be exposed to that and to remotely think it was normal behavior. She then got VERY upset and said that they were 'good Christian kids' and that how could I, an admitted ATHEIST, comment on her parenting???

I am still trying to sort that one out. Sorry for it being so long, but I had to vent and there has to be SOMETHING to the fact that this woman is a devoted Bushie and is also completely INSANE.

[annabanana]

1. I think that not letting your daughter "overnight"

is probably a good idea, given that you're uncomfortable with the potential sleeping arrangements.
(I think it's kind of funny that the mom thought it inappropriate for you to object because you're not HER kind of Christian)

If she thinks that "good Christian kids" don't have sex she is in for a really big shock..

As far as the seatbelt thing goes.. You are responsible for your child's safety. Don't try to explain to her that even well loved people die..and that that's why they call them 'accidents', because you are right

she is batshit nuts

[AllegroRondo]

4. Good call on no overnights

this situation reminds me of last season's "Desperate Housewives"...

where a mother lets her teenage son take his girlfriend into his bedroom.
A friend asks the mom "do you let them go in there with the door closed?"
She answers "Its OK, they're both in the Abstinence Club."

blind and oblivious.

[FreedomAngel82]

16. LOL!

Funny. And I'm sure there are some in the abstience club having oral sex. I remember a year or two ago watching a special on MSNBC about teenagers and parties and sex and things like that. A lot of them didn't consider oral sex to be sex. :crazy: So I'm sure all types of stuff goes on when they don't know. At least some heavy duty makeout sessions.

[Pool Hall Ace]

30. That's right, oral sex isn't sex

which is the fault of that nasty heathen Bill Clinton. :eyes:

[CrispyQ]

2. Young kids of the opposite sex allowed to sleep together?????

Wow! That she doesn't see a problem with that is absolutely stunning!!!

I'm not in your shoes, but I would sever contact with this family. It's obviously not good for you & it's doubtful that it's good for your children.


BTW, the self-righteous attitude that atheists don't have morales makes me seethe.

[DIKB]

6. I don't make "moral" decisions

I look at things reasonably and rationally, and make ethical decisions. For me, morals have that "Someone told me this was bad, so I don't do it" connotation to it. I prefer to think of it as me making my own judgements. Thus I have ethics to guide me, not morals.

[maxsolomon]

18. Atheists aren't "moral"

we have ETHICS.

[CrispyQ]

26. Whatever you choose to call it,

What matters is that if you believe in free will, then whether your ethical code is dictated by a ‘supreme being’ or simply a code you define yourself, in every moment, with every decision you make, the choice is yours whether you will follow your code of conduct or not.

Too many people who believe in G-d, do not follow G-d’s code of conduct, yet they think they are morally superior to those of us who define and follow our own code.

[DIKB]

3. You had every right to be angry

Their child allowed to have a g/f stay the night ? That would NEVER have flown in my household. One can't help but wonder how "christian" her kids are.

The arrogance of bringing her silly beliefs into it, infuriates me. Arguing with the deluded gets you nowhere. They have taken the order of the universe, be it a power, force, or general design and personified it to mirror them. They have then deluded themselves into thinking that it cares DEEPLY about every little thing they do. ****WARNING**** This is an EXTREME case of Ego-centrism.

Fundies are trying to convince us that some omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent "perfect" being is SO INSECURE that it needs to monitor us constantly and make sure we dedicate ourselves to it.

There may very well be a higher power, I really don't know. I'm not nearly so arrogant as to claim that I know the nature of it though.

I have never seen it exemplified that by being atheist/agnostic we are in any way worse or that we have given up any rights.

[renie408]

10. I am not sure what I am, but I do not believe in a sentient guiding power

so I am guessing I am an atheist. I am not interested in any omnipotent all powerful force that would allow some of the suffering that happens to the innocent on this planet to occur. Period. If he exists, whatever. He does not interest me. Also, it just does not make logical sense to me. I am open to non-sentient energies that connect all living things, but if I think about it too much, I start to talk myself out of it. But the funny thing is that we are some of the strictest parents we know. And MY KIDS, in our hyper-religious community, are the ones who have both won the CITZENSHIP award at school nearly every year (my son has gotten it every year, my daughter has traded up between Citizenship and Friendship awards each year). And they managed to learn to be good citizens and friends even though they were raised by ADMITTED ATHEISTS (like it would be better if we just didn't admit it).

[FreedomAngel82]

19. Yes

The thing a lot of these fundies I think fail to remember is we have freewill and choices and consequences. If someone chooses to not believe in their beliefs it's not their authority to say someone is going to hell. It's not their decision anyways. And something I like to ask is: how do you know the Christianity you know today isn't wrong? How do you know the Muslims aren't right etc? You don't, that's why it's called faith. God loved me enough to give me freewill and it's so disgusting how they are trying to take it away from other people who have no desire to believe what they do. Just because I believe in a certain belief system doesn't mean someone else is going to. Even in the Bible it mentions one must have an open heart and mind to believe. If someone doesn't then why would they follow the rules and laws you do? And it's like with gay marriage. They don't want it but forget they don't have to do it! It's not like once it's a rule everybody and their brother and sister is going to go out and have a gay marriage. I don't have to follow it. It's there for other people who don't follow what I do. It's the same thing too with the lottery. God (and the government) gave me freewill to decide what laws to follow or not. Same with abortion and Roe V Wade. Just because I support it doesn't mean I'm going to do it. I personally could never have an abortion but that doesn't mean someone else will follow what I do. I wish they would learn that. *sigh*

[iconoclastic cat]

5. Yeah, sure they're "good Christian kids"...sleeping in the same room...

I should tell her how many "good Christian girls" I knew (in the biblical sense) in high school and college.

[China_cat]

28. I hear from my 15 year old grandson

that the fundy girls are the easiest to get out of their pants. Not that I approve of him doing the same but he likes to try to shock me. (Gets upset when it doesn't work)

But he's the one who needs a reality check if he thinks I believe him when he finally says 'I'm just kidding with you, I don't do stuff like that'.

[yankeedem]

7. This is not a Democrat Republican issue

This is an ignorant parent issue. I don't blame you from distancing the kids from that place.

We've got our share of idiot parents also, I'm afraid.

[txaslftist]

9. Agreed. This is not about Republican/Democrat; it's stupid/smart.n/t

[renie408]

12. I know...

It was the way she had herself all talked into some of her really insanely bizarre arguments that seemed so...uniquely Republican to me.

[samdogmom]

8. Okay, here's what I don't get--

Why didn't she just have the girls come over to your house while she ran her errand? If your daughter really likes this girl and wants to continue being friends--why don't you insist that all future play dates are at your house? I don't think you're wrong, but I also don't think you're going to change your neighbor's mind about anything. Keep your relationship cordial for the kids sake, but write her off. Life's too short....

[renie408]

13. I swear, that is what I tried to do...

With my first call to her. I said that I was really disturbed that my daughter had been placed in danger. I also said that if she did not think it was dangerous, why didn't she think to have HER daughter and nephews take the front seat and the back, knowing that I would not like it. She was VERY offended that I had called her and that I thought she had done something wrong. She kept saying, "I am sorry you are upset, but there was really no danger." and acting like I was being unreasonable. It was like trying to talk to a stump. When I said, "The largest cause of death amongst children is car accidents." She said, "But I wasn't going to have an accident." Like people PLAN the damn things.

[samdogmom]

22. You know what--she's a lost cause.

Other posters are right--this is a case of bad/dumb parenting. How close are your daughter and the little girl? Will it be hard to separate them? I'd write this family off if I were you. But, only if your daughter understands and agrees. Otherwise, I'd let her see the little girl--but only under your supervision.

My experience is that the children grow apart when these roadblocks are put up and the friendship fades away.

[jackster]

11. didn't she say the husband was home the whole time?

then her excuse was just that - an excuse for bad behavior. No reason to put those children in harm's way no matter how much you want to spin it.

[FreedomAngel82]

14. I find it hard to believe they are good Christian kids if

they are sleeping together alone. Even if they aren't having sex how do the parents know for sure? I was raised in a Christian home and am a Christian. I doubt my parents would have let me be in the same room with a guy at night when I was that age. My parents wouldn't have even let a guy stay the night period and same with my brother and a girlfriend. No way would that have been allowed. Doesn't sound very conservative to me. Sounds more liberal eh? Heh heh. Also, with the whole car thing if that was me I would've wanted to protect all the kids. Not just my own. I would've definitley had seat belts in the car. What kind of parent has a car without seat belts? Especially with young kids and nephews and nieces and things like that. When I was younger my younger cousin once rode with us and she was a baby at this time (well not really a baby but not over two either) and my parents took extra care of her in our car (we have a van that has those baby seats installed). Same thing with other cousin's that have ridden with us. My parents always made sure we were all buckled up (even one cousin who never did had to with us).

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

15. Yeah, it's funny that they probably think they are morally superior...

....but it's not a Republican/Democrat issue really.....I've met parents from all sides of the political aisle who are great parents and others who are downright awful. Adn they often do things that you think would fly in the face of what they stand for politically.

[Tsiyu]

17. Freaks

the teenage love-fests are extremely troubling. "But at least he's not gay," is all that "Scott" is thinking.

I would suggest taking her up on the offer and severing all ties. Your children are too valuable to be exposed to their lifestyle.


Geez Louise :wtf:

Meanwhile, my two youngest are out of school in Georgia as recommended by Gubner Sunny PU , so all the useless gubmint employees can drive their gas guzzlers to their fancy offices today where they do absolutely nothing for the people of Georgia.

Ain't bein' a Republican GREAT?

[FreedomAngel82]

23. I wonder what they'd do

if the kids were having sex and the girl got pregnant. I betcha they'd be at the local clinic.

[CrispyQ]

29. I could not even believe when I read GA was going to close

some schools for a couple of days so people could drive. ARGHHH!!!! Where are our values????? Of course, it does fit the republicans plan. KKKarl knows an uneducated public is easier to manipulate.


"As people do better, they start voting like Republicans - unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing." K. Rove

[smurfygirl]

20. deal with repugs the way their president does...with fear

here is a nice example you can send her so she can get a fucking clue when it comes to how fast accidents happen...even on backroads...even to someone who thinks they are an excellent driver...even to a christian.


This young lady was recently on Oprah and what a loving, forgiving young woman she is! An amazing story of what she has suffered and will bear the rest of her life. Please share this with your friends and especially your teenagers who are driving.



The car in which Jacqueline traveled. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 17-year old male student on his way home after drinking a couple of hard packs with his friends. This was in December 1999.


After the accident Jacqueline has needed over 40 operations.



Jacqueline was caught in the burning car and her body was heavily burnt during around 45 seconds.


Now 20 year old, he cannot forgive himself for driving drunk on that night three years ago.

He's aware of devastating Jacqueline Saburidos life.






maybe with a little visual aid your republican mother can begin to understand how anything can happen at any time.

also...you should ask her if she is prepared to have a grandchild or if she will want her son's girlfriend to get an abortion.

[FreedomAngel82]

25. Oh gosh

How sad. :cry: Definitley show that to this woman! I think it will be a "shock and awe" type of effect.

[cynatnite]

21. She prefers 'christian' parenting to common sense??

Yeah, she's batshit crazy.

As an admitted agnostic, my teenage daughter would NOT be spending the night in the same house with her teenage boyfriend. She's not allowed to date until she's 16, anyway. You called it right and I would question ANY parent who allowed such a thing to go on.

I would feel safe having my kids with her IF she could control how other people drive. I wouldn't have want my kid loaded up in a small care with other kids. THat wouldn't not have gone over well with me at all.

You called it right and I don't blame you for severing all ties with this woman. Your kids come first.

[elehhhhna]

24. Din'cha know the Fish Decal is a Super-Safety Shield? Duh.

wink nudge.

[Guy Fawkes]

27. Mountain. Molehill. Mountain.

It seems to me that this woman has in fact apologized. But you do still have a few legitimate concerns, one of which is this woman's son. Now, I know you don't think it's "normal" for kids to act like the son does, but you don't know for sure if anything 'bad' is actually happening.

You say, "...the situation with the girlfriend and that I didn't want my kids to be exposed to that and to remotely think it was normal behavior."

I'm going to tell you some really bad news: this is completely normal behavior. Absofiginlutely normal. I'd say most (if not all) kids have had sex by the time they get out of high school. Studies and polls done with people between 12-18 don't give an accurate description of numbers (of sexually active youth) because kids worry about parents finding out. But being in high school myself, I'd have to say 90% of the student body is sexually active right now.