What if the Internet Existed in 1776?

[Autonomy]

We might have ended up with something like this:

The Declaration of Independence of the 13 Colonyz In CONGRESS, July 4, 1337 HaXxoR

The semi-unanimous Declaration of the 13 Disunited Statez of America,

NTIBOA, but when in the Course of human (A/S/L?) and animal(eww!) events, it becomes ncsy for one or many people (or animals!) to disolve the goddamn politiacl bands which have connected them with another, and to assume (you said ass hahaha!) among the powers of the earth or NOPE, the separate or equal station (but not both at the same time) to which the fucking Laws of Nature and of Nature's OMFG! or Nihilistic Randomness, whichsoever one believes,or does not believe but practices,, entitle them, a descent respect to the opinoins unless your name is Thomas Paine, who sucks {{{ROFL}}} of man (and woman) kind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. So NOYB to G3org3. :P NRN. Time for some zzzzzz’s. Nighters.

[bliss_eternal]

1. ...and slaves would have been computer literate

because the others would be too lazy to surf the net themselves. :eyes:

[entanglement]

2. Al Gore wouldn't have been able to invent it in the 20th century...

:hide: :hide:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

3. It never would have gotten written.

[underpants]

11. Yeah they would have never gotten pas the "Mac vs. PC" thing

and we don't even want to start on the font thing

[Mojambo]

4. I think we're all missing the obvious here.

www.foundingmothers.com

Hot, XXX, Revolutionary porn! Check out the Milf's of 1776!

Featuring Dolly Madison taking on 3 big black c-

Well, you get my drift...

(I can't believe I have to edit to say this, but no, that site isn't real.)

[Zuni]

9. LOL

:rofl:

[Dogmudgeon]

5. No cats or memes? That's one piss-poor Internet imitation.

There's no demand for sources and/or citations. No gun-law arguments. No use of BWA-HA, MU-HA, or other phony laughs. And where's the frenzy over pedophiles, with the demand that they be anally raped in prison by someone named Bubba? Memes, Occam's Razor, "Extraordinary Evidence", and Carl Sagan are not mentioned even once. CSICOP and Snopes.com should get at least one link each, just like they do on 92% of the pages making up Wikipedia. And where are the smug remarks about cats? Pending Scientology lawsuits against the whole Internet are likewise absent. There should be at least one sulk about how girls won't date "constitution geeks". Where are the references to memes? There should also be a quip or two about Bob Dobbs, Goddess, or a quote from Khaless the Testy in the original Klingon. Cats are not mentioned a single time, either. Neuro-Linguistic Programming is strangely absent. The Hitchhiker's Guide has also gone un-quoted, as have Monty Python's Flying Circus. Britney Spears and Christianity remain un-bashed, and no one has bashed and/or promoted vegetarianism. And did I mention the lack of cats and memes?

Feel free to add to my list; I may have missed something.

--p!

[BikeWriter]

6. "This is Paul Revere. Can you see my IM? The British are co..."

[DS1]

8. awww shit

Bike had the same idea first - I just massaged it a bit

/just saw this post :toast:

[BikeWriter]

13. Great minds think alike, Pard.

:toast:

[Beware the Beast Man]

7. Battle of Concord: LIHOP or MIHOP?

:evilgrin:

[RedCloud]

10. freepers would have pushed hard to switch that vote.

From English to German as the official language so a mere 170 years later their cockeyed schemes for world domination would have a different result.

They also would have freepered many a newspaper poll to ensure our leader is a King, not a President.

[madinmaryland]

12. Would there have been a DU?

And would there have been matcom news in the Lounge?
:shrug:

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

14. Fake nudes of Martha Washington...