Bill Maher's rant about California

[Taverner]

God I love this:

"You know, the rest of America has been having quite a laugh at California's expense lately. But let's remember this: California has a lot of people.
And the reason it does is lots of other people in other states saying, "Fuck this, I'm outta here!"
And then those people come here to California, and people ask them, "Don't you miss the winters?"
No, strangely enough, I don't.
Much the same way I don't miss slamming a car door on my hands.
Make fun of California, but if it weren't for California, East Coast rappers would have to shoot musicians from Branson.
If it weren't for California, there's be almost no TV, and you'd have to come home at night and actually talk to your family.
You know, the rest of America feels about California the way the rest of the world feels about America. They hate us because we do what we want.
They think we're too blessed and too free, and it makes them nuts in the dreary hovels of Kabul and Tikrit and Lubbock, Texas.
They pray to their threadbare gods that we'll get what we deserve. But it won't happen.
Because you never know what we're going to do here next. We elected Ronald Reagan and Jerry Brown.
We're home to Disney and Hustler, the Partridge Family and the Manson Family.
We can drink a Mudslide and a Sex on the Beach during an actual mudslide while having sex on the beach!
Our farms feed the world, and Calista Flockhart lives here.
We have bears and great white sharks. And even our washed-up actors are allowed to kill one blonde chick.
We invented surfing and cyber-porn and LSD and the boob job. And if we didn't, we would have.
We have oranges, free oranges, everywhere. What grows on the trees in Scranton, fucker?!
We have a real hockey team named after a hockey team in a movie!
Our Indian casinos could kick your Indian casinos' ass.
We give our illegal aliens driver's licenses.
And we have a guy running for governor who digs group sex.
Would anywhere else in America trade places with L.A. or San Francisco in a piss-soaked New York minute? You bet they would. Because I don't recall anyone ever writing a song called "I Wish They All Could Be Rhode Island Girls"!"

----------------------------

Ahhh speak brother! Amen!

[Initech]

1. "We have a real hockey team named after a hockey team in a movie!"

Great line right there! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Damn, Maher has been batting over 1000 lately!

[xmas74]

2. I don't make fun of CA.

If I had the money my daughter and I would move there in a heartbeat. I've been wanting to for the past couple of years now.
I think we'd both love it there.

[Zomby Woof]

3. PREACH IT BROTHER!

:thumbsup:

California is the Promised Land.

[Fight_n_back]

4. He's wrong, stay away

We are full. There is no room. Everything here is broken and ...and...there are constant tornadoes and freeway shootings and illegal alien ...sex deviants that...that make bad movies. Plus you are required to have plastic surgery to live here and all of our money is gone.

So
Don't
Move
Here

Stay in Ohio where the leaves change color and the football teams have stickers of nuts on their helmets.

Don't come here.

[sweetheart]

5. seconded

California is a great place to leave. Opportunities, goodwill and
not wasting your life in traffic jams are such possibilities
elsewhere. And then you meet the homeless and really hard up people
who moved to los angeles in search of a cinema film dream only to
discover a filthy mega-city filled with arms factories, in a city
that has riots and mass murder every few decades, a city of racial
segregation planning, of massive urban ghettos filled with factories
where the white man's dream stands engraved upon the desert basin.

And as future generations walk over the barren foundations after the
nuclear war, they'll say that once there was a huge city there, and
before the great war, they had no idea that 15 million poeple would
be erased in an instant of a suprise nuclear strike.

And America has never recovered from the first war fought on its own
soil, and even now, world nations are upset with history revisionists
who paint america's superpower empire ploy as anything but aggressive
race-war.

[Misunderestimator]

6. Those mega cities filling with arms factories and riots and murder...

and all the rest are not exclusive to California. Unfortunately, that's an American disease.

But yeah... everyone should stay away. Would rather no more people move here.

[Elidor]

9. You're just lucky I can get earthquakes in Tennessee

Without the exorbitant land prices.

[Zomby Woof]

11. Having lived in both states

I'll take the land prices over the rabid Baptist fundies.

[Elidor]

14. Zomby! I had forgotten this zombyfact.

Would have been so cool to meet you. Never having been to CA, I can't judge it, but it doesn't sound like the place for me. Give me the great outdoors, all to myself. I'm probably biased, however. I have a good life here. Chez Hardhead is a happy place, when I can forget what Bushco is doing to this country. At least an hour or two a day.

[Zomby Woof]

15. I think we should be happy wherever we can

And I know TN well enough to know it has much natural beauty and fine people.

But if you ever venture here for a visit, let us show you the majesty of Yosemite National Park, the magnificent titan redwoods, the snow-capped Sierra Nevadas, the crystal blue lakes, the endless miles of beaches, the vast green fields of grapevines and orchards, and beautiful palm-treed sunsets. California embraces it all, and is more than the sum of its traffic jams, real estate prices, earthquakes, and crime. It's a world unto itself, and has plenty of places you could lose yourself.

I certainly understand where you are coming from... happiness is a treasure, and if you have it, HOLD ON TO IT. :-)

[GRLMGC]

16. Truly

the cities do not represent the whole of the state of CA. It has a lot more to offer (even though I adore the cities).

[Zomby Woof]

10. Truly!

That was a wee bit over the top with the doomsday poetry, lol. :eyes:

[sweetheart]

24. LA has fallen off california

I've spent most of my life in california, and los Angeles is another
place entirely from your land of mirror-lakes. For any person who wants
a more close inspection of the culture of california, just drive inland
on the surface streets from LAX, and keep going until you reach the end
of los angeles. Notice all those mirror lakes, redwood trees and
rugged individualism, notice if you lock the doors of your car for
fear of what might attack you in the urban ghettos you drive through.

The majority of california is in that LA-sandiego-san-bernardino super
city... one that on a coastal drive starts at the mexican border, lets
off a few miles around san onofre and then is constant concrete until
north of oxnard. And don't just visit, live like a local, drive around
on the freeways for hours every day, discover the car-culture and the
dystopia of the western megacities... where the country has dumped its
diaspora for an american dream that is disfunctional.

More people need to see the urban disfunction of this broken dream before
its too late and they inherit the plague themselves.

[Dukkha]

7. Hey I resemble that remark

I did it 15 years ago.
then I returned back to the Buckeye capital 5 years ago.
I'm just not a fan of $1200.00 rent for a shitty apartment.

[Zomby Woof]

13. Yeah, but Ohio?

Ohio, dude.

I mean, Ohio? *crickets*

There are plenty of decent places cheaper than 1200 here. No one has to live in L.A. just to live in CA. This thread seems focused just on L.A.

[NV Whino]

20. You forgot the earthquakes!

We have earthquakes. You don't want to move here.

Full up. Move along.

[Liberalynn]

8. Don't get me wrong

as a New York Stater, I admire California from afar. We go dem and liberal hand in hand together in almost every election and for that alone California :yourock:

Except for the Terminator turkey in your state house, who I have every confidence you will throw out on his over padded ass very soon, you generally have pretty good taste.

but Callista Flockhart? :puke: ;)

with all the talented and beautiful people who live in California that's the best Bill could come up with as an example? :shrug: ;)

[bliss_eternal]

12. New York Rocks,too--thank you

Liberalynn!

:headbang:

[chaska]

17. Gotta agree, I live in LA, but I heart me some NY.

[Taverner]

18. Well the whole idea was

That we a land of dichotomies, and irony.

We have enough food to feed the world, and yet we have anorexic waifs all over the place, such as Ms Callista

[Rev_Harvey_McKank]

19. just a test....

just joined DU. testing. sorry to interrupt.
FW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Taverner]

21. Welcome aboard!

BTW...what does FW mean?

:hi:

[kwassa]

22. A true Californian doesn't trust any land that doesn't move ....

any trees that don't burn, and any air that he can't see.

[XNASA]

23. "California Girls" isn't an ode to the girls in Cali.

It's Brian Wilson's way of saying that he likes girls from everywhere (including, I suppose, Rhode Island) and since he lives in California, he wishes that they could all be in California with him.

Not that the girls, and women, in California aren't beautiful, but....

That's not what "California Girls" is all about.