U of I/ General college question

[nemo137]

Where do you meet new people who don't suck? Basically, I sit in my damn dorm room all day. It'd be nice to meet new people and/or girls, as I have like 3 friends from school down here.

[deadparrot]

1. Two words: College Democrats.

:)

[hfojvt]

2. the dorm does not have a cafeteria or a study lounge?

Try the chess club. Chess players don't suck - usually. Ah, in my college frosh days, it was all risk and 500 in the dorm 'study lounge'. I swear I played cards every night, and also finished the year with a 3.8. Of course, I rarely saw those people after my freshman year.

[nemo137]

3. believe it or not, all of my hall's lounges were converted to quads

years ago. And I keep missing Risk Club meetings. No joke.

[hfojvt]

7. that is just sad

then again, the 2nd dorm, where I spent the last four years of my undergrad time, did not have a lounge life at all, and my grades suffered. I was not looking to meet people anyway, so I sorta fell in with the only people who would talk to me, which were fundy christians. Probably my kind of people anyway.

[Tafiti]

19. Question:

Why are fundie Christians "your kind of people"?

Just curious, you don't have to answer if you don't want. :)

[hfojvt]

20. perhaps mainly because they did not drink, smoke, do drugs, and

they were not serially promiscuous. Plus, they were less likely to ostracize people within their group or other groups. That last part seems odd when you think of how judgemental they are on TV, but in real life when you sit with a group of fundies they do not engage in the common sport of other groups of making the newbie into an outcast or the butt of teasing or 'jokes'.

[Tallison]

25. You'd probably like recovering addicts

Among the most evolved people I know are.

[Tafiti]

31. I see.

However...

"...they were less likely to ostracize people within their group or other groups."

I drink, smoke, do drugs, but not serially promiscuous. Does that put me into a certain mold to where I'd treat someone like an outcast or tease them? I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but those "traits" don't necessarily correlate to demeaning or condescending behavior.

My take? I know fundies well. My large family is 90% fundie. I used to quasi-be one when I was young. I know how they think, how they operate (in a general, blanket-statement kind of way). They like to project an image; a subconscious projection of: "I'm a true, Bible-believing Christian, and Jesus has brought peace and happiness into my life. I want to project this 'image' to you, so that you will wonder why I'm so happy, and you'll find it's because of Jesus. I disapprove of you as a non-Christian, or not a 'real' Christian, but I will never disclose this or make this apparent in any way. I will gain your trust by accepting you, but in the end, I plan to proselytize you to my way of thinking - the right way."

Don't mean any offense, but I've been there, seen it time and time again, and I believe it to be absolutely true. It's in the training. It's not explicit, only under the surface. Bottom line, (again, in my experience - which is extensive), they're quietly judging you. Everything you say and do, they're gauging it against their belief system. "Does it fit, is this person 'there'? If not, I intend to fix it."

[JVS]

8. Risk club? When? Where? How much do I need to pay to belong?

WOW!

[nemo137]

12. They had a table at Quad Day

I think I missed their big tournament, though.

[JVS]

13. Quad day sucks!

It's too croweded to see everything. There should be a quad week with 1/5 th of the tables set up each day

[Omphaloskepsis]

4. I would ask people in class if they wanted...

to get together for a study session before a exam. Get some pizza and grab a beer. I discovered lots of people that way.

[Wapsie B]

5. Do you have any outside interests?

Someone suggested College Democrats. That would be a good start. Join different clubs. Or at least hang out in the Student Union once in awhile. You're bound to meet someone there.

[JVS]

6. Are you in Chambana?

I am a student at UIUC.

I hate when people say U of I though, because Iowa, Illinois, Indiana and Idaho might be meant by that

[nemo137]

10. Yeah, I am, and It's true

but what other U's of I matter?

[JVS]

14. So, what do you like to do for fun?

Drinking, games, fiery political thought?

[nemo137]

21. My enjoyment of drinking, talking and general nerdity runs totally counter

to a well developed strain of misanthropy. Basically, I need to find other bitter, pissy people, and win them over.

[JVS]

35. Sounds like my friends

[nemo137]

36. a-ha! I knew they were out there.

It's like proof of Nessie.

[JVS]

37. We could hang out someday when I don't have massive shit hanging over me.

Mid october looks like things might clear up a bit. I'll let you know if my buddies are doing BBQ or something.

[nemo137]

39. Cool, thank you

Midterms?

[JVS]

9. Study hard. Ace everything. Admiration and love from peers will follow

[nemo137]

11. I'm working on that

Which is why I'm still trying to figure out calc even after my brain has shut down.

[ZombieNixon]

15. Go across the hall and knock on people's doors.

Do this on every door on your floor. Seriously, I did this and made many friends very quickly.

Also, if your dorm has a lounge with a TV or something, you might want to occasionally pop in. Just sit down and watch some tube, people might join you.

Join organization. Someone mentioned College Democrats. This is good. I'm looking forward to my College Dems meeting this afternoon.

Basically, just go out and talk to people. I've had great success and I've never been a goo conversation starter!

Good luck!

:hi:

[Rising Phoenix]

17. good advice...

thats what I did... and I made friends fast, I had to check my shyness at the door...but it was worth it...good luck at school

[ZombieNixon]

18. Yeah, it sounds kinds stupid and you might run in to some jerks,

but at this point in the year, most people are as clueless as you are, so you already have something in common.

[JPZenger]

16. Never a Better Opportunity

I really hope you find a way to turn that situation around. College should be the greatest opportunity of your life to meet new people. You will never have a situation where it will be easier to meet so many people with so many different interests. When I was in college, I was really glad that I never had a TV. To have wasted that opportunity watching TV would have been a real shame - you can always catch up on TV later in life.

Many students who commute to college wish they lived on campus so they had a better chance to socialize.

Also, remember you will never have a greater opportunity to meet available people of the opposite sex. After college, people are more likely to be engaged or married. I know one guy who really regretted the fact that he had the same girlfriend throughout his college years - he feels he missed something in life.

[Hobarticus]

22. Gotta be some cool record stores, coffee shops, or cafes around

That's where I hung out and made great friends in college. Still got most of 'em.

[scarlet_owl]

23. I live in Urbana. There are some pretty nice bars downtown.

There might be interesting people there.

[riderinthestorm]

24. Have you tried the intramural teams?

Any of them will do. Wiffle ball, water polo, frisbee... it doesn't have to be the biggies like softball or volleyball.

Is Murphy's (the bar) still open? That's where all the bitter, wannabe intellectuals used to hang out.

Friday afternoons usually have some bar that is having a version of the "Hi Bob!" game. Back in my day (snort), the Bob Newhart re-runs would come on and everyone would drink a shot when someone would say "Hi Bob!" on the show. You don't have to know anyone when you walk into the bar for THAT game, but you WILL know a few more people by the time you walk out. Not sure what the fave drinking game program is these days but it can't be too hard to find.

The lunchtime crowds at the Student Union watching the soaps were always a blast to crash. I never watched the soaps but there are hoards of people who are sitting around - it's an easy way to meet women. Lots of women.

Suck up to the quad dogs. Whoever is caring for them make decent friends.

What dorm are you in? Usually the RA's organize some stupid events that aren't totally lame to attend: like "How to give a decent massage."

Some people have made other good suggestions like finding a student group that matches your interests. I joined the Rape Crisis Center as a volunteer and made friends there I still have to this day, besides working alongside passionate people who shared my politics and global view.

For chrissakes, don't sit in your dorm room. The weather's gonna be crappy soon... get out now while you still can! Even if it's to watch the quad life happenin' around you....

Good luck.

[Nikia]

26. I went to a smaller college

I was on an athletic team so I instantly had friends or at least aquaintances. I joined several clubs, although I only stuck with a couple for any length of time. My classes were probably smaller than yours.
Our college was mostly residential and most students ate at the dining hall. Even though I was shy, I made it a point to eat my meals with someone. That someone could be someone who I recognized from class, the dorm, one of my clubs etc. It was even better if they were eating with people who I hadn't met yet. I'd ask if I could join them and then joined in whatever conversation they were having as I ate.
I actually became rather popular my freshman year. My sophomore year, I started dating the man who would become my husband and had less time for mass socializing, but I got to know a lot of people.

[Nikia]

27. What about the people who you know already?

Like your friends that you have? Do you have roomates? Are these people more social than you? Would they be interested in attending events with you or introducing you to people they are meeting?

[davsand]

28. UIUC College Dems are not bad folks at all.

They come to the Dem Happy Hours and they are usually having a pretty good time. Being an old fart, they don't hang with me too much, but I did do first aid on one of them at the picnic a couple of weeks ago when the old fart Dems BEAT the College Dems in a softball game. (We beat those kiddies like a DRUM!)

Happy hour is Friday(tomorrow) night. If you are interested in that let me know--I'll get the address for you.

I do want to also let you know that the Champaign County Dems will have an entry in the chili cook off and beer tasting this Saturday in downtown Urbana. I'll be there in the tent cooking all morning and most of the afternoon. We ARE doing hot dogs and brats at lunch time--come on by and see me. I'll fix you up with a hot dog or two. :) Just tell me you are from DU!

I don't know any regular undergrads anymore--except the College Dems--otherwise I'd help you out with some introductions.

Come see me Saturday!


Laura

[Dr. Death]

29. Some good suggestions, but no one has hit the obvious:

in class! OK, I have no experience with U of I, but plenty with academics, having been a student at 3 and now professor.

Before I go on, think about this: when a pirate wants to find a treasure ship, does he scour every inch of the sea? No, he stakes out the shipping lanes.

This advice is specifically about meeting girls. Whatever your major (or main interest, if you don't have a major yet), look for likely girls in those classes. Think about it: if they are interested in a class that you are interested in, then you probably already have something in common.

You have plenty of time in class to scope out likely targets. Once you've picked one out, arrange to meet her. Here are ways to do it:

1. Get to class early, stake out a place where you can see people approaching your class building, and wait for her to appear. Note which direction she comes from and the time. People tend to follow the same patterns - once you have her pattern down, you can bump into her by "chance" at a specific point and time. Note that this can also be done after class.

2. If you are driving and she is not, follow the instructions in #1 above, but arrange to be at an intersection just when she is crossing the street. Wave at her, and when you get her attention, offer her a ride home (this works best if you have already introduced yourself to her beforehand so that she knows who you are). This is difficult to arrange timing-wise, but if you can pull it off it is gold, as the ride home is a great time to get to know each other and ask for a date. I've only pulled this off once, but was rewarded with a date that turned into a serious relationship for over a year.

It's all about "predictive modeling". Figure out what type of woman you want to meet, think about where such a woman would be found, and concentrate your efforts on those places. Remember: us pirates, them treasure ships. Stake out the sea lanes!

Puffy shirt optional.

[nemo137]

32. Nice and logical. What do you teach, anyway?

n/t

[khashka]

30. The caf, the student union, class

In the end it's all up to you.... it takes nothing to say "hi" and it can pay off like the lottery.

I met AVH in college and we've been friends for years. You know what started it? A girl sitting behind me (the wonderful Kelle) said "I wanted to say hi but didn't think I should". Well, she did. Thank all the gods.

Just say "hi", nemo. People aren't that damn scary. And there are a lot of people who would love to get to know you. And they are just as intimidated and wondering how to make friends as you are. So say "hi" or "that's a pretty dress" or "I really liked what you said in class".


Khash.

[nemo137]

33. Thanks for all your advice, guys (and female guys)

I'm still trying to find my feet here, I guess. Thanks alot.

[hunter]

34. I was a newlywed when I lived in Champaign-Urbana...

...so I didn't worry about meeting women. I worked, while my wife went to school.

It's a wonderful city.

Before I married my wife I went to college in California. I was the worst sort of computer nerd -- I could hardly talk to anyone without looking down and mumbling at my feet, but I met a lot of wonderful people, mostly because I didn't sit in my room all day.

I rarely partied. Instead I got out and went to pretty much random lectures and field trips and stuff. (By the way, I attended some really good lectures at U of I.) In college I was never in my room except to sleep. I studied in the library or places I might run into people.

"Hey, you're in my physics class, right?" Next thing you know you've got a study partner.

I played softball. I worked out in the gym. I swam. (There were women in swimsuits! Sometimes I noticed them looking at me!)

I never had a conventional sort of girlfriend in college, but there were women who were my friends, and maybe two women over the years I could get a little flirty with or play footsie with under the table while studying in the library. These were very safe sorts of relationships. (My one serious relationship in college turned out very badly, but that's another story...)

Simply put, don't sit in your room. There's lots of things to do, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

[WCGreen]

38. Study groups....

Remember, you are there to make a new life for yourself...

Forget depending on your high shool buddies....

Get out and meet new people....

Believe me partner, it;s the best time of your life....

[undeterred]

40. I went to U of I and I lived in a coop

Not like the greek system, but still a group to belong to and spend time with. It was great. I only lived in the dorm one semester, then 2 years in the coop, and the rest in a shared apartment. I didn't make lasting friendships in the dorms - but I did in the coop and in some campus groups I joined.