Pete the Pirate Solves Your Problems - Ask Him Anything

[MrScorpio]

Pete!

[BlueIris]

1. Pete--will I be famous?

I don't need to be extra-wealthy, but I do want people to recognize my contributions.

[MrScorpio]

2. "Dear Unappreciated,"

"Well, Matey, yer sad story reminds old Petey about the time we sailed around the Cape. I was a wee minnow then, no bigger than shrimp's arse. Of course, I thought that I knew it all at the time, but in fact, I didn't know nothing. We've all been through them there stages.

I thought that I could make a contribution to the operation of the ship and perhaps the old boyos would stop treating Petey like a piece of whale shit. But I was an arrogant sumbitch and I told off the Cap'n in me smart mouthed way that we would have saved a bunch of time if we had went through the Panama Canal instead.

This did not make the Cap'n happy...

He promptly had me keel hauled.

I wasn't feeling too appreciated at that time either, needless to say.

Now despite the fact that Petey was almost sleepin' with da fishes, I survived my ordeal and learned my lesson about not letting under appreciation take me to places where I didn't want to go... Like underneath the ship.

I hope that that help you.

One other thing though that Old Petey needs to tell ya; on the way back the Cap'n actually brought us back through the Panama Canal.

Maybe I did make my mark, other that the marks of ripped flesh that I left on the keel."

[KyndCulture]

3. Argh Petey, it's damn fucking cold in Minnesota..

and heating oil is now at 3.50 a gallon... we can't afford that.. what should we do?

[MrScorpio]

5. "Argh Matey"

"You wouldn't 'ave dese ere problems if you woulda joined the NayVeee!"

[Az]

4. Pete, I am an unconventional pirate

What if any nod to traditional pirate garb must I wear to let other pirates know that I am still a pirate.

[MrScorpio]

7. "Well, Matey"

"A good pirate stays away from polyester. Not a good material for sailin' on the high seas. A nice wool blend with take good care of ya when the ocean winds blow. Puce is not a good color. Go for red, or one of my favorites, black. Georgio Brutinis are no substitute for a good pair of knee high boot. And of course, a snug pair of pantaloons is good for any occasion.

Follow these simple rules and I'm sure that an unwanted wicked buggering won't be in your near future."

[bertha katzenengel]

6. I'd rather have MrScorpio solve my problems.

See, sometimes I need a man to hold me. No sex. Just hold me. My best friend Dale, who did the job up until 5 years ago, is 2,600 miles away.

damn.

'night, MrS.

(PS here's a line that Pete can use: "Shave the wench & bring 'er to me cabin.")

[MrScorpio]

8. "Well Lass"

"He's not around now, Petey is.

If you ever need the services of Petey's mizzen mast, I'm sure that I can take care of your poop deck.

Arrrrgh!"

[bertha katzenengel]

9. LOL

You ain't right. :hug:

[UrbScotty]

10. Gays are threatening the sanctity of my marriage! How can I save it?

[MrScorpio]

11. "Arggh Matey"

"Old Petey pleads the Fifth on that one."

[WindRavenX]

12. Dear Pete:

Should I be drunk this weekend when dealing with my bat shit crazzy parents?
Hugs n kisses,

Gen

[MrScorpio]

13. "Dear Gen"

"A good sharp cutlass is good for any occasion.

But if that's a little too drastic for ya, Old Petey will be willing to take then off ya hands awhile by press ganging them onto my ship.

I'll even throw a bit of my best grog your way for good measure.

That's what friends are for."