Would your year-ago self have expected your life to be what it is today?

[eyesroll]

How natural has that trajectory been? Has your life gone according to plan?

It's a question that's weighing on me a bit of late, as I'm right around a year out of being married (even if the legalities weren't done for awhile after that). I also just turned 30, and while I'm happy to be out of the "silly decade," and decades are arbitrary marks of time passing anyway, I suppose I'm still doing what society says I should be doing and getting all maudlin and reflective.

(That and I am a little hungover and sleep-deprived, even though I only had two not-strong gin-and-tonics last night.)

Needless to say, my life has gone off into some unexpected directions, mostly good ones. I'm divorced and have a better friendship with my ex-husband than many people do with their actual spouses. I've got someone new (really not-so-new anymore) in my life, who loves me and who I love. He's brought a sweet and smart little girl into my life, too. I'm bored at my job, and doing something about it, and hopefully returning to school next year.

Would my year-ago self have expected any of this? I really don't know. The divorce was on the horizon, sure, and I was getting restless at my job, but the specifics...who knows?

So, what about you? Are you where you would have expected to be? What's different? What's better?

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

1. Thoughtful question.

I'm where I expected to be. A year ago I knew I'd be living in Texas,having taken the bar exam and waiting for the results. I didn't plan to get a job right away, and I am taking my time and sending out some résumés now. No surprises here.

[no name no slogan]

2. Everything is different-- and mostly for the better.

Last year, I had just started a new job, was trying to fix up my old house, and had just celebrated my eight-year wedding anniversary.

This year, I still have the job, but I'm out of that house, and divorced from my now ex-wife.

And I am much happier.

The house was an albatross that took all my money, and all my energy. I now live in a small one-bedroom apartment that takes me 1/2 hour at most to clean every week.

My ex-wife was domineering and emotionally abusive and played a large part in making me feel bad about myself. It's amazing how much more positive I am without her in my life, and how much more energy I have to do the things I want to do.

No, I never would have imagined myself in my current situation a year ago-- but even though I thought I was happy then, I would not trade my current situation for anything.

Sometimes peace can only come through suffering. I am finally at peace.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

3. Not at all.

And mostly for the worst. But I'm picking things up and moving on.

[Shell Beau]

4. I'll come back to this question later today! It it too early

for such deep thought! ;)

[Fenris]

5. This thread is maudlin and reflective.

;)

That being said, I am much happier now than I was a year ago, mainly because I'm actually doing well in school and am extremely happy in my private life. Year ago self was still a bit of a wreck.

[Roland99]

6. Yeah...I think I'm past my recovery phase (divorce/unemployment/etc.)

and feel pretty good where I'm at.

Starting a new job in a little over a week that I'm looking forward to, as well.

[underpants]

7. My life has completely changed

baby
quit smoking
quit drinking (the puritan lifestyle makes me oh so much more better than you heathens)
in shape or very near it.

Completely different.

[progmom]

8. I didn't spend nearly this amount of time online a year ago

And I have made some amazing friends.

Beyond that, things are not so different from a year ago.

[hfojvt]

26. ah ha, there you are

see, you joined DU a little bit after I re-joined. You have made a bunch of friends, and I probably have detractors who are more committed than any friends I may have here. Of course, I did not come here necessarily to make friends, but to figure out what 'we' can do for 2006 and 2008.

[progmom]

27. hey hfojvt

I came to DU because I needed to be around people who are as passionate about turning this country around as I am. While I may not post much in the other forums, I read a lot, and spend a lot of time spreading the word to people off the boards. :)

[redqueen]

9. No, not at all.

Not where I expected to be... living with my mother in law. Didn't expect to be looking for a job as a nursing assistant. The living situation is different... the looking for a second job is better. I've got no complaints. I'm a go-with-the-flow kinda gal.

[BlueIris]

10. Nope.

Despite the fact that I'm in the same city, my year-ago self is still kind of wondering what the fuck happened between then and now. My life looks NOTHING like what it resembled this time last year.

[BigMcLargehuge]

11. pretty much, yeah

though I thought I'd get more sleep.

[flamingyouth]

12. No - a year ago I was very nervous about the future.

I was very nervous about the impending holiday season and how I would handle it. My health wasn't great, etc. Now a year later I am happier than I've ever been in my life, and save for an unforeseen injury, I also feel better than I ever have. (I've been working out and could kick last year's me's ass ;)).

I'm glad things are going well for you too. You deserve much happiness. :hug:

[SCDem]

13. Luckily I am not where I expected to be

and I am all the better for life unfolding as it does. Sometimes I do not like it and think how am I going to survive but I say to myself there is no alternative to survival and so I push on through. Some might look at me and say oh she has made such a mess of her life in the past and yada yada yada but all I see is a great today and future ahead of me. I try to set broad goals like happiness and security for my future but even those are not guaranteed at all times.

[jane_pippin]

14. Nope. I thought I'd be out of this town, but here I am. Still.

I thought I'd have a job with health insurance--nope.
I thought I'd be out of my job that I hate--nope.

But, some good things have happened too. I got a second job that I like a lot. I'll be able to save more money now so I finally can get out of dodge. I made new friends in town and here on DU. I've been to San Francisco twice. And, for the first time in years I feel inspired creatively and am actually doing something about it.

So I guess it balances out.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

15. Last year my personal life felt devoid of hope and directionless

And this year my personal life still feels devoid of hope and directionless

To be fair, it actually hasn’t gotten worse and that’s a good thing but it has stayed the same and that’s not a good thing

[bicentennial_baby]

16. OMG, no way

i was in a shitty LTR that i never expected to get out of, and now i am out of it!

i won a scholarship and went to France, all by myself, and had an incredible adventure this summer!

also, i found love here on DU, and it has changed my life in amazing ways! f'n incredible, the past 6 months have been, indeed. :)

[RetroLounge]

17. Not in my wildest dreams would I have imagined it

very different, better in some ways, an emotional shit-hole-from-hell in others.

RL

[nini]

18. No.

things took a very positive turn about a year ago for me and I had NO idea it would.

Things are great :-)

[Zomby Woof]

31. That is what I was going to post!

:P :loveya:

Oh, how things turned out... :wow: :bounce:

[Josephine]

19. I thought Kerry was going to win

So no, my life is not what I expected, and neither is my country.

[mwdem]

22. Welcome to DU, Josephine!!

:hi:

[samdogmom]

25. I'm with you! I was naive and thought that Kerry would be President

The downhill slide our country has been on for the past 5 years is much worse than I ever dreamed possible. I never thought one person could do so much damage in such a short period of time--especially since we're supposed to have checks and balances in our government. Sadly, I've lost my innocence. Now I expect only the worst and never get my hopes up anymore.

[SammyWinstonJack]

28. I thought that would happen too. The future looks bleak and I can't shake

that feeling. :-( Welcome to DU. :hi:

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. About where I expected to be.

But expectations never match reality. Mainly surface stuff, though.

[MissMillie]

21. You know that my answer is "no"

though I think I did have an inkling.

The biggest change in my life in the last year was my surgery. I had gastric bypass surgery on 9/3/04, and since I've lost nearly 100 lbs.

I've gone from a person who was tired all the time, to having enough energy when I get home from work to do chores, go to meetings (even chair committees), and even have some fun.

I never used to exercise. Now I'm at the gym 5 days a week, and usually jogging one of the other 2 days as well.

I smile.

I shop in regular sizes.

My legs and back don't hurt anymore.

I even think I may be ready to try dating again.

Wow... I really love my life.

[Redstone]

23. Hell, no. For example, most of what I do for work didn't

exist twenty years ago. And I definitely never though I'd have such a good-looking wife - and one I get along so well with.

Redstone

[hfojvt]

24. I went from 42 to 43

and not very much changed, except my health deteriorated. Some of that was predictable since I had the first ulcer symptoms that I noticed just before I turned 40 and I have had swallowing problems for 20 years, but the knee injury was unexpected, and hopefully just temporary, but it has really made me feel old, like ten years older than my calendar age when I used to feel like I was ten years younger. My career is still stuck, but it reached a pretty good place about 17 months ago - finance wise, since my workplace is still also highly dysfunctional. My love life has been mostly non-existent for 28 years and so nothing changed in that regard.

[China_cat]

29. I expected to be dead.

[khashka]

30. Things are much the same

But I've patched up some old and frayed friendships (and that's great and unexpected).

I had given up all hope that there would be any medication that would help my disability but was recently proven wrong.

Not a lot has changed but what has changed has been good...

Sounds like you are doing pretty well yourself :)

(Oh god! 30! You're still a little kid!)

Khash.

[Lady President]

32. Horrible Year

In a nutshell:

July 29, 2004: I'm in Boston on the floor of the convention center listening to Kerry give his acceptance speech.

July 29, 2005: My father passes away.


In one year my dad was diagnosed with cancer, was sick for a solid 9 months, and passed away. My grandmother became too ill to live alone and moved in with my mom. I changed jobs (a wrong choice). Kerry lost.


2006 has to be better, right?!?

[HEyHEY]

33. I thought J.P. Gray woulda popped the question by now

Alas, my pillow will continue being damp each night. :cry:

[skygazer]

34. My life has not changed significantly over the past year

However, my life has taken many, many unexpected twists and turns in the 44 years I've been around and if you'd told me ten years ago that I'd eventually be living in California with a good man, happy, with no crashing depression issues hovering over me, I would have been astonished.

But does anyone's life really go as they expect it will? Life isn't really like that. It doesn't follow any pre-determined path and even when you plan for what seems like everything, it has a way of throwing you curves regularly. That's good, it seems to me. I think life would probably be very boring if it never deviated from the path of our expectations.