What to do when your child is a repuke

[Seedersandleechers]

My son is "gifted" got a degree in physics engineering and soon to be going to Fordham Law school in NYC. When he was young he would come home from school and listen to Rush while doing his homework. I just assumed he was listening to him and laughing as I did. Well, the last election he was able to vote and voting for Bush. He got really upset when I cried after hearing about his vote. I still love my son-he's always been a good kid but I raised him to have some social conscience.
My ex would drop him off at my job (abortion nurse) and he would see the protesters. Then in school he debated the merits of pro-choice. I'm hoping moving to a blue state with Clinton as senator will help some. Where did I go wrong? My friends just tell me it's a form of rebellion.

[grace0418]

1. I'm so sorry, you have my sympathy. That is my greatest fear

about having children. Because so many people tell me "You should have a baby, we need more people like you in the world!" But what if I had a child and they became a total Alex P. Keaton?

I swear, they could follow any career path, marry anyone they wanted, be gay, be straight, be into s&m, whatever, I wouldn't care one bit and I'd love them all the same. But a republican? In this current political climate? That would make me cry just like you sweetie.

Good luck. Maybe he'll see the light...

[Seedersandleechers]

2. Thank you so much. He just turned 22 so maybe there is hope

[grace0418]

5. You know, when I met my husband, he was from a very

conservative, straight-laced family. His parents came here from the Philippines when he was a small child and they are very old school. Very superstitious, religious, slightly racist, very homophobic, and generally fearful of anything out of the ordinary. And he grew up with that. When we met he had some pretty Republican ideas, was slightly homophobic, etc. And he's totally different now. His family is just as conservative and Republican, but he's not. Half of his friends are gay or lesbian. He's interested in all different philosophies and is fine with letting people live how they want to live.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe he'll fall in love with someone who will guide him back to sanity. There is hope!

[johnnie]

3. Rebellion?

A lot of us did things when we were younger as a rebellious act. Drugs, drinking, wild un-protected sex, stealing, robbing, cheating, tattoos, body piercings, beating up little old ladies and taking their purses, kicking crutches out from little old men...but never.. I mean NEVER would I have sunk as low as being a puke.
:evilgrin:

Sorry, I hope he pulls through.

[BlueIris]

6. Nice post, man. :-)

KCdemocrat, you have my sympathies. Sort of. I mean, I'm not saying it's your fault or anything, but you might just want to try to let this go.

I've known a lot of intelligent folks--even "gifted" ones--who, um, er, came out of science degree programs raging sexist, misogynist, asshole Republicans. If he finished his education in schools that did not require him to participate in any kind of humanitarian, liberal arts course work--he probably wasn't exposed to much in the way of real discussion of ideas (arts, history of arts, history, literature or sociology) that could have disrupted the Rush and cultural brainwashing. Good luck--but I don't think there's much that you personally can do.

[I Have A Dream]

35. I totally agree with you, BlueIris. I work with a large group of...

extremely intelligent engineers, and most of them are extremely conservative and set in their ways. I always wonder how such intelligent people can see the world so very differently from how I see it. You may be right about certain aspects of education being overlooked. When I was in college, many science/engineering students would complain about any course that they had to take that was not directly relevant to their degree. They just couldn't understand that there's really something to say for receiving a well-rounded education that allows one to see the world in different ways. It's almost as though they're missing an integral piece of the puzzle that would give them the ability to understand the way life really works for people not exactly like them.

[johnnie]

38. Ah see...now there ya go

I am an engineer and work with three others. The two with college degrees are conservatives and the other engineer and myself who worked our way up through the ranks are liberals. It's college I tell you!

[I Have A Dream]

40. You may very well be right, johnnie. Many of the people that I...

described have never had to go without anything. They've had to work hard, but they knew that their hard work would pay off for them after a set amount of time When one isn't born into this type of situation, it becomes clear that hard work doesn't always result in making a better life for oneself. It really is a class thing. (Please don't get me wrong -- I totally believe that there are wonderful liberals who have never had to go without. However, I think that it's easier to empathize with other people's suffering when you've suffered yourself, even if not in exactly the same way. Truly empathizing when one has never suffered is a real gift and is pretty rare, in my opinion. Good parenting can really help in situations like this.)

[huskerlaw]

4. If you completely flipped the situation

you could be my mother. I'm sure my republican mother asks the very same questions about me.

She also claimed my democrat-ness was rebellion or a phase. I'm sure she feels that she has failed in some aspect of child rearing, and always thought that she raised me with "morals" (or, well, the Republican definition thereof).

My mom has learned to live with it. And trust me, it's as awful to her that I'm a Democrat as it is to you that your son is a Republican. I do know that the harder she tried to convince me that I was wrong, the more liberal I became. Sure, you can hope he changes, and you can have adult, informed debates with him, but my advice would be to not try to hard to force a change. He'll resent it, you'll get frustrated, and it won't work. Approach it much like you would any other Republican. With facts and information. Keep the "I thought I raised you better than this" stuff out of it.

[Seedersandleechers]

15. Very good advice, thank you huskerlaw

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. how old is he?

[Seedersandleechers]

16. Just turned 22

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. maybe a hormonal masculinity thing

will pass

[Name removed]

8. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Seedersandleechers]

18. One becomes an abortion nurse when you work for years

in
clinics that ONLY provide pregnancy termination. We did not do OB. I tried OB/GYN
for six months-I was miserable.

[Richardo]

43. Nice radar, radwriter

:thumbsup:

[Redstone]

9. One word: Disinherit.

Redstone

[BlueIris]

23. Hee.

Redstone, you are my favorite.

[Redstone]

27. Thank'ee, ma'am.

Such words are always so nice to hear. Warm my old heart, they do. And it's a chilly night here, so the warming is the better appreciated.

Redstone

[ghostsofgiants]

10. Speaking from my own experience...

His politics most likely have nothing to do with you "going wrong" somewhere. He just happens to have a different world view than you. My parents are both relatively conservative. I'm a socialist. It has nothing to do with my parents.

Your best bet would be to just talk politics with him and try to persuade him with facts and such. If that doesn't work, then let him live his life with the politics he wants to have.

[Ksec]

11. Hmm

Thats a tough one.

It could be worse I guess.

He could be a serial killer and thats like one step down. :)

Nothing you can do man. No a thing. All one can do is teach them well and release. After that its outta our hands.

[skoppa]

12. It's ironic that this is probably exactly what my mom says about me.

Except backwards of course. We actually got into a big discussion during this last election because it was my first election and she wanted to know who I would vote for. Well, it was kind of fun fighting with my mom and knowing how wrong she was. Anyways, back to your situation. I'm not sure if there is anything you can do, god knows my mom's tried on me. Good luck.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

13. my sons middle school history teacher started brainwashing him.....

i went and had a talk with him and nipped it in the bud....i live in a very red area of upstate NY and we are one in only 20 dems in 300 square miles...i had to act fast

[Seedersandleechers]

22. Just curious. How was she brain-washing him.

[xmas74]

14. He saw the signs and heard his friends parents talking.

I live close by and I hope to God that does not happen to my child. We're a very red county and I'm afraid that she will go the same route someday.

[caty]

19. If he listened to

Rush everyday---I'm thinkin' "brainwashed".

[Seedersandleechers]

24. He did listen to Rush every day. Like I said he would come home

from school, turn the radio dial to Rush, and do his homework. He also listened to a person called Mancow, but I haven't the slightest idea what he is all about.

[sellitman]

25. Better make sure he isn't on Oxycontin too!!!

Just kidding... :hi:

[Seedersandleechers]

26. Well if he is he is certainly not sharing

[LaurenG]

20. Don't take it on

I was raised by republicans, many generations of them. One of the last things my dad said before he died was "where did I go wrong with you"?

Just keep being his parent he'll find his way. If he never votes for a democrat in his life, just love him and go on.

[-..__...]

21. Respect his decision.

Yes, I know you and many others here might disagree with that, but he's still your son and he's old enough to make his own choices.

In time he might change his mind, then again he might not.

If you're that concerned about it right now, then things can only get worse and turn into family arguments and alienation when he comes home to visit.

[seaglass]

28. I have a hard time reconciling someone who is gifted but

also listens to Rush. And how can one have compassion and listen to Rush? That's what I'd be more concerned about, the type of person he is. There are worse things than being a Republican.

[BlueIris]

32. As I posted above, if his work required intellectual brilliance

but required little in the way of familiarity with the history of ideas, as some science degrees allow students to get away with, he could still be gifted in his field but out of touch with what's going on in society, government, or with what's wrong with believing anything Rush Limbaugh says. Intellectual intelligence isn't the same as emotional intelligence or maturity. You can be quite gifted in the sciences, (and in many other skills, I would presume) and not know thing one about the rest of the world.

[seaglass]

41. But doesn't a science degree require logic, I mean that's the

basis of hypothesis and theories, same with law. I guess that's what I mean, someone who is required to think logically would see clearly that Rush uses emotion, not logic in his arguments.

[ismnotwasm]

29. Aww he's just 22

Give him a chance at life. My younger brother went through something similar--used to listen to rush, talked just nuts. He ended up pretty conservative, kind of a libertarian really, but too not crazy. He is anti-war, anti-corporate welfare. Hates bush. We find common ground a lot. We're able to discuss stuff we disagree on rationally, because we agree on a lot of things. He's 12 years younger than I am, so I saw the whole change--it was a maturation process. I wish the best for you and your son

[BlueIris]

34. While I, too, think he could still "grow out of it"...22 IS old enough

to know better. A lot better. While I don't think KCdemocrat should feel bad about her son's misplaced faith in Rush Limbaugh...22 is old enough to fuck up your life (and the lives of others) through this kind of ignorance. Think how many years he's been voting for Republicans now...how many S.O.'s lives he's potentially helped ruin with his misogynist opinions...how many oil wars he could still sign up for, promote, commit war crimes in...

I take it back, KCdem...you should worry. It's not your fault, but it's not nothing, either.

[marzipanni]

30. You might get him a copy of this book

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1412044219/102-1829430-2611345?v=glance
I heard David Dionisi speak, and your son might find this veeerrrry interesting.

[khashka]

31. I wouldn't worry too much

He's still a child, really. And kids need a way to distance themselves from their parents and establish their own identity.

But be fierce, be honest, be open, be truthful. As a parent, you can't control your kids, but you can be a role model, something to aspire to.

Early days yet - I think (whatever we think of our parents) that they knew something we didn't. But you raised him well (right?) and that will show.....



Khash.

[populistdriven]

33. Hire Jeff Gannon to strip for him

[Ksec]

36. Similar but different problem

My daughter who is 13 has a social studies teacher who pushes his right wing ideology on to the kids.

She comes home almost daily and tells me about how he said Bill Oreally was his hero or Bush is a great President.

I should turn his butt in. Isnt that wrong? Are teachers allowed to do that?

[renate]

45. I would talk to the principal about it

I would also support anybody who complained about a teacher praising Clinton (although to be honest I wouldn't complain about it myself).

I don't think that ideology-pushing of either stripe belongs in public schools.

[Pacifist Patriot]

37. I don't usually advocate corporal punishment.

But now might be a good time for a good swift swat upside the head.

Just kidding!

I don't know what to tell other than to say I hope you are kidding. I think I'd succumb to a deep depression if one of my kids became a Republican. Seriously.

[DawgHouse]

39. You love and accept your son.

You laid the groundwork. He is still young and will see the light eventually. He sounds very accomplished and you should be proud of that.

[Richardo]

42. "Abortion nurse"?

Is that really the title on your business card?

[Seedersandleechers]

44. What else would you call a nurse who works for an abortion clinic

and an abortion doctor? Abortion is NOT a dirty word-in fact miscarriage is really called spontaneous abortion. I guess I could call myself a voluntary interruption of pregnancy nurse.

[Jamastiene]

46. Well, I was going to suggest you sit him down and tell him

about sparing the rod, but he sounds like he is all grown up now. I guess the thought if that wouldn't make him think about it now. All you can do is love him and if you can find a 12 step program, encourage him to enroll. I am sure he can be set right (left, really) with the proper amount of conditioning at some sort of ex-repug camp. Do we have those? If we don't, we need to start one.