Our Italian secretary just sent this to me and you gonna love it!

[Talismom]

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride
>>Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Cleveland to say hello
>>to his friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wassah de treepa?" Luigi
>>said, "Everytinga wassah perfecto except for da traina ride down."
>>Whadda you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni."
>>Well, we boarda da train at Granna Central Station. My beautiful
>>Virginia, she packa bigga basket a food. She broughta vino, some nice
>>cigars for me, and we were looking a forward to da trip. Everytinga
>>wassah okey dokey until we getta hungry and open uppa da luncha basket.
>>The conductore comma by, wagga hissa finger at us an say, "no eat in
>>dissa car. Musta use a dining car." So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we
>>go to dining car, eat a bigga luncha and start to open a bottle of nice vino!
>>Conductore walka by again, waga hissa finger and say, "No drinka in
>>dissa car. Musta use a club a car." So, we go to club car. While drinkin
>>vino, I start to lighta my biga cigar.
>>The conductore, he wagga hissa finger again and say, "No smokin in dissa
>>car. Musta go to smokin car. We go to smokin car and I smoka my biga cigar."
>>Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car anda go to bed. We
>>just about to go boomada boomada and the conductore, he walka through da
>>hall shouting at da top of hissa voice, "Nofolka Virginia! Nofolka Virginia!"
>>Next time, Ima gonna takea da bus!

[XNASA]

1. One of the all time greats.

Thanks.

[Shell Beau]

2. Ha ha ha! I've heard a different version of the joke!

Dear Signore Dirrettore

Now I am tell you a strory how I was treated at your hotell. I am come from Roma as tourist to spain and stay as young christian man at your hotel.
When I come in my room I see there is no sheet in my bed.
How can I sleep with no sheet in my bed? So I call down to receptione and tell:'I wanna sheet!' They tell me: 'You wanna shit? Go to toilet'.
I say 'no, no. I wanna sheet in my bed.'
They say: 'You better not shit in your bed you sonnawabitch!'
What is a sonnawabitch?

I go down for breakfast into restaurant, I order bacon and eggs and two pieces of toast. I getta only one piece of toast. I tell waitress, and point of toast: 'I wanna piece'.
She tella me 'You wanna piss? go to toilet'.
I say: 'No, no. I wanna piece on my plate!'.
She then say to me:'You bloody hella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch!'
What is a sonnawabitch?

Later I go for dinner in restaurant. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fork.
I tell waitress: 'I wanna fork!' and she tella me: 'Sure everybody wanna fock!
I tell her: 'no no. You dont understand me. I wanna fork on the table!'
She tell me: 'So you sonnawabitch wanna fock on the table? Get your ass outa here!'

So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more.
When I have paid the billa, the portier say to me: 'Thank you and peace on you'.
I say: 'Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch!

I go back to Italy! I never comma stay at your hotella,'

Your sonnawabitch!

[Talismom]

3. Very cute! I'll give this back to our secretary from someone

on DU who liked hers! Thanks!

[Love Bug]

4. From someone who used to be stationed in Norfolk, VA

Bwahahahaha!! :D

[Ksec]

5. LOL Italian secretaries with glasses are my favorite

[Talismom]

6. LOL! That is such a strange thing to say! Our Italian

secretary is the most gorgeous 24 yr old you could imagine. She's gonna laugh when I show her your comment!

PS Concerning your statement in your profile--you haven't really tried everything!

:evilgrin:

[Ksec]

7. Almost everything.

;)

[Lilyhoney]

8. Thank you for sharing. nt

[Talismom]

9. My pleasure! We all need to laugh a little these days! n/t