FDNY WIVES GET BURNED

[Kat 333]

<snip>

At least a dozen of New York's Bravest - some of them assigned to look after Sept. 11 widows - have left their wives for the spouses of their comrades killed in the terror attacks, sources told The Post.

"It's disgusting, heartbreaking what they've done," said Mary Koenig, whose husband, Gerry Koenig of Staten Island's Rescue 5 squad, ditched her and their two kids for Madeline Bergin, the widow of his friend and firehouse mate, John Bergin, after the World Trade Center attacks.

An insider who has worked with firefighter families and a counselor who worked for one of the FDNY services told The Post there are about a dozen cases similar to the Koenigs.

FDNY spokesman David Billig would not comment on the figure. Another FDNY official told The Post, "It's a very sensitive topic."

http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/12256.htm

[theivoryqueen]

1. saw this on Today Show - can't figure it out

or what to make of it... I mean - I would understand if the firefighters in question were single, but how do they defend leaving their own homes and families? Is this some form of mass hysteria?

[liberalhistorian]

2. No, it's called

M-O-N-E-Y, most of the widows got mega-millions for the loss of their husbands. Guess if you lose your husband that way, it gives you the right to destroy another woman's family without a second thought. One of the guilty men has even been arrested for failure to support his own three children after leaving his family, while he's living with a rich widow and being a father to HER four children! Sickening, isn't it?

Kinda makes me glad to be single, in a way, I don't think I could ever handle something like that happening to me.

[theivoryqueen]

7. If they remembered to file for comp on time!!

apparently only 60% did... and the other 40% can go F@#$ themselves, courtesy of the US Senate. But, yes, it is a sickening end note to the whole 911 disaster.

[opihimoimoi]

3. Them widows got big bucks and they get lonely too.

the hormones are there and its normal. Happens all the time.

[Kat 333]

4. Considering there are multiple cases

It makes one wonder ...

[stopthegop]

5. throw people together after an emotional event

like 9-11 and a certain number of people will bond...inappropriately in some cases...and money may be a factor in a few cases

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Bingo

This would be, IMO, the over-riding reason.

Too bad the post won't explore any actual motivations or the psychology behind how typical this type of thing is.

I'm not surprised at all.

As you say, after a hugely emotional event, relationships are going to shift. I figure those firefighters and the women they were watching over developed emotional ties built on trust and honesty unlike anything they've exeprienced before - so of course they'd be attracted to one another.

Same thing happens at summer camps and during other emergencies, like earthquakes and war.

It's human nature - not for all, but a certain percentage are gonna end up bonding in what we would think of as inappropriate ways.

And the sad thing is, these new relationships probably won't last real long, because once those amazing emotional bonds start to slow down as one gains distance from the event and life goes back to normal, they will begin to see one another for who they really are.

[theivoryqueen]

9. too late for the original wives and kids

and then everybody involved will be adrift, or abandoned - however you choose to see it.

[joeybee12]

6. I have a real problem with this story

I'm sure stuff like this happens, but leave it to the Post to make it into a tabloid story.

Take, for example, the word "ditched" implies so much more than simply "left," doesn't it?

[liberalhistorian]

10. Well, I'm sorry, but that's exactly what they

did, neglected and "ditched" their own families. The word exactly fits what they did and there's no way to really "pretty it up."

[joeybee12]

14. Well, if you want to only hear one side, then fine, go with the subjective

Post.

There is more to this than what the Post is printing, I am sure.

Nothing like taking sides when you know absolutely nothing about what actually is going on.

Tablodi journalism lives as long as people are willing to buy it lock, stock and barrel.

[Kat 333]

17. Mainstream Journalism

is Sooooo accurate ? This story was, however, on the morning news and reported the same way with no "additional facts".

[joeybee12]

18. Mainstream journalism has become tabloid journalism

Not much of a difference between the two anymore.

[Kat 333]

11. So much more ?

"ditched" means "To get away from (a person, especially a companion)." I don't think it implies anything more than "left" which was used in the paragraph right above. It didn't come across, to me, as a sensationalized account of the story.

[theivoryqueen]

13. perhaps, but even in a no-fault divorce mentality

there's something rather conspicuous about several post 911 NY firefighters choosing to leave longtime spouses and acting rather cavalier about the repercussions.

[joeybee12]

15. Well, if you're only going to hear one side of the story, of course they'r

going to come across as cavalier.

The women--probably rightfully so--are bitter, and their side is going to make this story seem more sensational than it probably is.

God, please don't read the Post!

[Kat 333]

19. OK

Here is another link for you. Same story, different paper. There is one huge difference. They use the term abandoned !

<snip>

NEW YORK -- A number of New York firefighters have abandoned their wives after falling for the widows of colleagues killed at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, it was claimed Monday.

Many of the men were acting as department "liaisons" to comrades' bereaved families when they fell in love with the widows, the New York Post reported.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-nyfd02.html

[joeybee12]

16. I really disagree

I think ditched is a much stronger word, and is a subjective word.

Typical tabloid journalism/

[LizW]

12. More indirect victims of the original tragedy

There's probably a lot those of us who aren't psychologists don't understand about the consequences of guilt and loss and grief. Sure, it's awful for a guy to leave his wife and kids for another family, but I can't say I'm surprised that it happened in these cases.

This is another reason those touched so directly by 9/11 needed lots of professional counseling and support.

[KG]

20. turns out the firefighters aren't the virtuous patriotic super-heroes

as painted by the bush-apologists after 9-11, but just working-class, mistake-prone humans like the rest of us.