Will I ever be able to keep a straight face in voice class again?

[Ladyhawk]

The terms "head voice" and "chest voice" are often used to talk about two different sets of muscles women must use throughout their range. "Head voice" uses the smaller muscles and so produces higher pitches. You feel the higher pitches in your head. "Chest voice" uses the larger muscles and produces lower pitches. You feel it in your chest. Women typically have a break in the voice. We have to learn to use the two types of muscles together in that range, gradually exchanging more head for chest as we go lower and chest for head as we go higher.

Today when the voice teacher was helping a fellow alto work through her break, he said, "Give it a little more head."

:wow:

Then he said, "Put a little more head into it."

:rofl:

I came *this close* to collapsing on the floor in paroxysms of hysterical laughter. The lady sitting next to me looked bemused but said, "Be careful." I literally had to bite my lip. It was hard to sit through the next few minutes while the teacher and singer discussed how much "head" to give it.

Can I ever face that common singing term again without dying of laughter???? How do you keep from laughing at inappropriate times?

[purr]

1. I wouldnt have handled it as well as you did..

I think I would've fell over and cracked up completely. GIVE IT MORE HEAD!! LOLOLOL :rofl: Wasnt anyone else amused?

[Ladyhawk]

3. Only the lady sitting next to me seemed to notice and she

tends to dislike "dirty" words. :) I tend to be hyper as it is in voice class because I'm exuberant about music, I guess. I'm also the class smartass along with an older guy named Matt. If Matt had caught my eye instead of the lady, the class would have been over, probably. :D

[purr]

7. Some people need to lighten up and laugh..

My MIL is like that too.. shes a big uptight.

[Ladyhawk]

9. Gotta agree. :) If I didn't laugh, I'd be dead.

Humor is one of the few things that gets me through. :)

[Ladyhawk]

14. My whole family is like that, except maybe one cousin.

Bunch of fundies.

I'm glad I can just enjoy life without worrying about offending anyone. The other day I almost laughed when my mother said she found people who got offended easily "offensive." My mother is offended so easily! Any four letter word will do it. If you say "fuck," expect to get especially reamed because as the South Park song goes,

"Fuck" is the worst word that you can say!
"Fuck" is the worst word that you can say!
"Fuck" is the worst word that you can say!
So don't say, "Fuck," FUCK, NO!

Criticize my mother's politics or religion and you just might get killed. ;)

[ContraBass Black]

2. Think of how horribly embarrassed you'll be if you do laugh.

[Ladyhawk]

4. Sorry, but I wouldn't have been embarrassed had I laughed.

Maybe I'd have felt a bit guilty for disrupting the class, but not embarrassed. :D

[Beaverhausen]

5. You will have to get used to the term

if you want to continue to study singing.

[Ladyhawk]

8. But I've heard the term for about twenty years. Today was the first time

I had heard it used like that...innuendo city. :) What makes it even more funny is the teacher is a total prude (also a fundy). He uses language laced with innuendo all the time without realizing it and it's so damn hard not to laugh at him.

Once he told me about going camping with just his wife along and he said, "It gave me a chance to, you know, just plug in to my wife." Now, that time, I couldn't keep quiet. I made a smartass remark--can't remember what it was, but it was rich!--and laughed so hard I started coughing.

Another time, he admonished the sopranos: "Come on, ladies! PUT OUT!!!"

:rofl:

I'm sorry, but it's hard not to laugh when he says these things because he comes across as so innocent. He literally doesn't have a clue.

[KatyaR]

6. See, this is how old I am--

when I was in music school no one ever thought about that being dirty . . . luckily, I'm pretty sure my voice teachers said never those EXACT words.

I miss those days--so much simpler and a hell of a lot more fun. Good luck to you, and don't laugh!

[Ladyhawk]

11. LOL...I've heard the term since I was just a kid, but I had never heard

it put quite that way before. :D :D :D :D :D

I've studied voice for many, many years, but never heard the term used quite like that. It had never even occurred to me before and when I joke, I don't tend to be prudish. :shrug:

Now I'm going to have to listen for innuendo using the term "chest voice." Hmmmm. If there's a way to make it sound "dirty," my voice teacher will innocently figure it out, blurt it out and not even realize it.

:rofl:

[KatyaR]

21. I can guarantee you that most of the people I went to school with

would be laughing their asses off. I can think of a few in particular that would not be able to laugh--and I've love to see the look on a couple of voice teachers' faces when they tried to explain why they were on the floor.

It's funny how you can hear a phrase for years and then one day it strikes you funny and it's never the same again.

[Misunderestimator]

10. Yeah, that's odd... "Give it a little more head voice" makes sense...

"Give it a little more head" would be grounds for laughter from anyone. What an idiot.

[JVS]

12. I remember as a small kid the kid's choir director/ pastor's wife...

telling us kids that when we sing we should "Remember to use your diaphragm" My brother and I were the only kids who snickered and we got a strange look from her.

[Ladyhawk]

13. LOL! hehehe. For safe singing, be sure to use your diaphragm. :D n/t

[Ladyhawk]

15. Shameless kick for the night crowd.

Love you guys! I'm going to bed!

LH

[AmyDeLune]

16. Old English sounds just like the Swedish Chef...

Years ago in college, the instructor starting reading a poem written in Old English the woman next to me started literally shaking with repressed laughter but managed to hold it in till the end of class when she gasped out, "He sounded just like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show!" And she was right, too.:D

Then there was the time in high school when we were reading Lord Jim in English class. The term "seamen", er, "came up" repeatedly during discussion...:P

[XemaSab]

17. Yo Ladyhawk!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=141x19399

[radwriter0555]

18. *cough* I used to employ super-head myself. 4 octave range, with super

head, ala Carey and Khan.

Alas age and... lack of use have taken their toll. Now I just sound like a herd of cats being murdered.

[XemaSab]

19. D above C above high C here

:D

[Oeditpus Rex]

20. You had me at 'exchanging more head for chest'

Decisions, decisions... :dilemma:

In boys' glee during high school, we were doing that silly "associate words with scales" thing — y'know, "Every good boy deserves favour" and whatnot.

This particular scale was G-B-D-F-A, and I said, "Good boys don't (ahem) around."

Mrs. 'D' just looked at me, her head cocked to one side. :D

[eyepaddle]

22. Now cut that out!

"You had me at..." :rofl: Good one!